Top Ten Worst Movies Ever Made

[Kaseykockroach]

Yes, I'm sure a thread of this caliber has already been conceived. But, there will some 'rules' to this one.
1. We're not talking about so-bad-its-good, nor so-bad-its-funny, nor the delightful B-movies we love and adore. List the films that inspire you to either track down the director's address, ambush then then decapitate them with a butter knife, or simply leave you contemplating how many starving children we could've fed with the money used to make these films. Or, films that leave you sobbing and cutting your wrists, cringing whenever you're reminded of the fact that the movie actually EXISTS and was made by human beings.
2. Only list and rank films you've actually seen (be it on their own, or seen the Mst3k version), not just read about or watched clips from on Youtube. Only name entire films you've experienced. =p
10. Space Jam (1996)
9. Baby Geniuses (1999)
8. Tank Girl (1995)
7. North (1994)
6. Tom & Jerry: The Movie (1992)
5. Mac & Me (1988)
4. Epic Movie (2007)
3. The Legend of the Titanic (1999)
2. Terror Toons (2002)
1. Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie (1987)

[RCMerchant]

1.SINGLE ROOM FURNISHED (1968)-You would think that a movie with Jayne Mansfield would have at least 1 (or 2!  ) redemming qualities about it. No. A artsy talk fest. And an AWFUL pretensious,badly acted one at that.

2.ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW (1975)-I don't get the love for this musical with crappy music. Gawd-It's got Meatloaf! That's bad enuff!

3.ARMEGEDDON-(1998) Just stupid.

4.I DISMEMBER MAMA (1972)-I tried like hell-LIKE LIVING HELL-to sit through this cure for insomnia 5-Count Em-5 times. I gave the tape away. Or threw it away.  I dont recall. Just knew it had to go. Cool title,though. Paul Leder's movies,as a rule,should be avoided. Good titles. Try watching 3 ON a MEATHOOK by the same director. Crap.

5.CHILDREN OF THE LIVING DEAD (2001)-I actually paid only $2.00 for it at the flea market-watched it-threw it in the garbage.

6.PSYCHED BY THE 4-D WITCH (1972)-I thought-by Something Weird's description of it-it might be fun. WRONG!!!!

7.AVATAR (2009)-I just couldn't handle this overhyped cartoon version of Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee.

8.SHERLOCK HOLMES (2009)-No.Just no.

9.the one with Pauly Shore onna farm.

10.the one with Adam Sandler being Jimmy Stewart.

[JaseSF]

10. Accident (1967) - supposedly daring but well I just found it dull...

9. Boogie Nights
8. Natural Born Killers
7. Clerks II
6. National Lampoon's Senoir Trip
5. The Waterboy

Some good ideas in there somewhere perhaps for some of these but mostly painfully offensive and repetitive in my eyes.

4. Armageddon
3. G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra
2. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

"Just stupid" as RC put it so well.

1. Envy (2004)

Just an hollow unfunny comedy film about a spray that makes poo disappear. Filled with stars I've seen do far better before and elsewhere. Just leaves you feeling empty. Yeah, it tops my list.

[venomx]

Tank Girl (1995)
Epic Movie (2007)
Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie (1987)

Tank Girl sucked crap. Now THATS a bad movie for sHore. (my Jersey accent)

Any movie like Epic movie or Teen the movie or Meet The Spartans type suck. I agree.

Garbage Pail Kids lol. I like Nostalgia Critic's reveiw on that. But that's all I liked about that movie.

Oh I almost forgot. I have to state this everytime I see a topic like this...

My pick... Super Mario Bros. (1993) Worst. Movie. Ever.





Remember that gun or those 'things', maybe that city from any of the Mario games? No? That's what I thought lol.

I know I'm aways hard on that movie but I feel they really messed up on the best game ever made.

Captain Lou Albano and Danny Wells would have done SO much better. OK I'm done, sorry.

[bob]

9.the one with Pauly Shore onna farm.

I believe that's Son in Law

10 Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead
9 Mac and Me
8 Batman and Robin
7 Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
6 Epic Movie
5 The Scarlett Letter (1995)
4 Caligula
3 Baby Geniuses
2 North
1 Freddy Got Fingered

[A_Dubya]

Oh I almost forgot. I have to state this everytime I see a topic like this...

My pick... Super Mario Bros. (1993) Worst. Movie. Ever.





Remember that gun or those 'things', maybe that city from any of the Mario games? No? That's what I thought lol.

I know I'm always hard on that movie but I feel they really messed up on the best game ever made.

Captain Lou Albano and Danny Wells would have done SO much better. OK I'm done, sorry.

WINNER! Give this man the 1st level prize and give his wife a ham. I hate that movie so damned much. It's not just the movie is a bad, horrible, s**tty film, but it's the fact that one of the greatest video games and video game characters of all time was treated like that...... Just wrong!

Don't be sorry. It's quite okay to be mad as this turdfest masquerading as a  SMB movie.

[zombie no.one]

2 of my favourite films have been mentioned already lol

here's my list. written straight off, probably forgot a couple of more deserving titles, but anyway...

I Dont Want To Be Born a The Omen rip-off starring Joan Collins, but impossibly tedious
Speed 2 dire
Clerks 2 most pretentious script ever
What Women Want why have I even seen this
C.H.U.D so boring. (sorry)
The Erotic Witch Project no words for this
Kung Pow! least funny film ever
Moon yeah, Moon. terrible self indulgent pseudo-grandiose rubbish
Poetic Justice bored to tears
Champion Killer worst film I've ever seen

[claws]

Random order:

Death to the Supermodels (2005)
Return of the Boogeyman (1994)
Cold Creek Manor (2003)
Deadly Daphne's Revenge (1987)
Children of the Living Dead (2001)
Howard the Duck (1986)
Basic Instinct 2 (2006)
A Day of Judgment (1981)
The Hollywood Strangler Meets the Skid Row Slasher (1979)
Invasion from Inner Earth (1974)

[Allhallowsday]

I can't think of a list of TEN very easily.  

MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE... nah, that's so bad, it's entertaining.  It is stupid and boring, though.
IT'S ALIVE (the 1969 LARRY BUCHANAN messterpiece, the one "starring" TOMMY KIRK).  It's really boring, but so over-the-top bad it's worth a barrel of belly laughs.  Nah.

Okay:
1. BLOOD OF DRACULA'S CASTLE.  Now that movie is a complete waste, it's not even so-bad-it's-good.  It's just bad.

The following films are merely hated by our esteemed members and are only the WORST for each of them:  
BOOGIE NIGHTS (Jase has had a love-to-hate this movie fixation for years.  It's really a good film, just challenging.)
NATURAL BORN KILLERS (see above).  
THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW.  Bela, Bela, Bela, I know people used to lay it on you with the "movie you must love" sh!t, but ROCKY HORROR has terrific songs, and genuine cheaply spoofed absurdity.  Plus CHARLES GRAY!!     I like it, but don't want to look at it any time soon.  
I like CALIGULA ( ) but it may be the most offensive movie ever made... It's trash.  But, I mean, where else do you get PETER O'TOOLE, JOHN GIELGUD, HELEN MIRREN (and not to mention MALCOLM McDOWELL) in a PORN FILM??    

[SC-RM]

In no particular order:

Bio Dome (Hey Pauly shore is popular and look they say current and hip things success!!)

Baby Geniuses 2 (Who wouldn't love poorly dubbed babies beating up adults? WHO I ASK!)

Lies and Illusions ( It's all a riddle wrapped In a  mystery hidden in a labyrinth nestled inside a dog turd)

Surf Ninjas (Rob Shinder as the lead role, Leslie Nelson as the villain...How could you go wrong?)

Catwoman (Backstory? Who needs that? Coherent Plots? For amateurs)

Superman 3 (Hey Richard Pryor is funny, this will be a comedic blast!)

North ( Stereotypes and Elijah Woods ass crack? GENIUS!)

Suburban Commando ( Hulk Hogan shoots lasers! PEW PEW! I can almost feel the shots melting away the part of my brain that remembers this film)

Home alone 4 (as 1/3rd funny as the 3rd and twice as s**tty)

Battlefield Earth ( Because when I think of great cinema, I think of John Travolta with dreads as an alien speaking English and overacting)

[Mofo Rising]

I loved Moon. I was really very impressed with it.

I also hate The Rocky Horror Picture Show. To rephrase from a review I read long ago, "Listening to Susan Sarandon sing is like having to listen to the rape and murder of everybody you've ever cared about." Harsh and unpleasant, and I'm sorry, but I truly detest that movie. Yet I like "Time Warp," so that's inconsistent.

I don't think I can do a list of ten off the top of my head, so here's a few I truly hate.

Slapstick (Of Another Kind) - Still, ten years later, the worst film I have ever seen in my life. There is nothing good about this film. Nothing. The worst part is that is filled with talented actors and is based on a book by Kurt Vonnegut. I stand by my four-word review of this film: "Eloi, eloi, lama sabachthani?"

Feed - A snuff film about chubby chasers. Truly unpleasant and very, very stupid.

Van Helsing - The one with Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale. One of the few movies I was tempted to walk out on. I was ready for it to end after ten minutes. Unfortunately, that took almost two hours.

Xanadu - I posted about my experience with this "film." The discopalypse.

The Amityville Curse - A while back I thought it would be a fun idea to go through all the horror movies my local store had in alphabetical order. This movie is a knock-off movie that traded on the Amityville name while having nothing to do with the rest of the movies. I've seen all the Amityville movies, and this is far and away worse than any of them. That takes a lot of awfulness, because there isn't a single good movie in the bunch.

Nothing But Trouble - I remembered this as being just a bad movie. Then I watched it again. The years have not been kind. I find Dan Akroyd comedy death, and this movie he directed is a case-closing example. (But hey, Tupac is in it!)

Desecration - A little known film by a little known director, Dante Tomaselli. This is a bit unfair since this was clearly a zero-budget labor of love, but here's the plot: After accidentally killing a nun with a model airplane, in the stupidest death scene I've ever seen, a young man is tormented by visions of clowns and nuns who keep him caged and diapered. Awful.

Salo: 120 Days of Sodom - An attempt at artistic filth. Doesn't work, and I'm a fan of filth. Pretension in the wrong hands is a terrible thing.

Audrey Rose - Terribly boring. When they went to trial to prove the existence of reincarnation I wanted to physically hurt everybody involved in the movie.

Period Piece - An hour and a half of naked old people and hobos masturbating. No, there isn't anything else. That's the entire movie.

Hey, that's ten right there. Guess I should stop. What the hey, one more.

Funny Games - An attempt to moralize and attack with a terrible, unpleasant movie. Like Feed, Funny Games thinks it has a lot to say. It does not, it simply wastes the audiences time trying to be meaningful. I've seen a lot of movies that think they're smarter and deeper than they are, most of them have the decency to at least try to be good. Heck, even Starship Troopers had Neil Patrick Harris sodomizing an alien for entertainment.

I didn't think I'd be able to go on, but there are a lot of movies I haven't even mentioned. The above are all awful films. I recommend them to nobody but masochists.

[Jack]

Death Tunnel (2005) - from my review:  "...there's a few seconds of a girl wearing a mask sitting on a bench. A few seconds of a couple of guys talking. A few seconds of a girl kissing a guy. The snowy TV effect. A couple seconds of another girl wearing a mask sitting on a bench. Some girls standing at a bar for a few seconds. Snowy TV effect. A few seconds of a girl in a mask reaching for a key on the floor. A guy fiddling with a camera. Snowy TV effect."  Worst piece of rubbish I've ever experienced.

Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (2004) - It's like somebody took a dozen SyFy Channel originals, ran them through a computer to reduce them to the most clichéd, generic mash possible, and it spit out this.  I was correctly predicting the next lines of dialogue while watching this for the first time.  The characters were all hate-able, and the comedy relief character should have been subjected to one of those extremely creative medieval forms of torture.

Quantum of Solace (2008) - I haven't got a clue what the hell's going on, but there are loud noises and fast-moving images flashing across the screen.  Therefore I am entertained.  And the plot is about stealing all the water from a country and hiding it in caves?  Um, the volume of the lakes and rivers in any given country is going to be about a trillion times the volume of its caves.

Those are the top three.  After that it's about 100 movies that bored the crap out of me, most of which I can't remember the names of.

[RCMerchant]

Oh-I failed to mention FREDDY GOT FINGERED-I had it purged from my memory. Like a child represses  memories of being molested-I blocked it.
Tom Green should be shot. In the head. Or slowly tortured. The skin peeled from his body...bit-by bit.

[InformationGeek]

3. The Legend of the Titanic (1999)

*Gasp*  A fellow survivor!  I didn't think many people were able to survive this one!  Welcome to the club.

10. Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (Probably one of the most painful adaptions of a video game ever made)
9. Jaws: The Revenge (How low can one of the greatest films sink with this sequel?)
8. Titanic: The Legend Goes On (You expect it to be bad, but you still do not comprend the horror)
7. Disaster Movie (The most painfully unfunny comedy ever possibly made)
6. Frogs (Possibly the most boring killer animal film I have ever witnessed)
5. In Search of the Titanic (A shark rap song, a transvestite Scottish doll, a broadway/techno muscial number, and a dog shooting a laser gun with thumbs make up this crime against humanity)
4. The Legend of the Titanic (You can't find a more offensive and insulting film based off a true story than this one)
3. Pocket Ninjas (Proving that kids movies don't need to follow any form of logic what-so-ever!)
2. After Last Season (I think I saw something happening in this film... but it was probably my imagination)
1. Monster A-Go Go (The perfect anti-thesis for movies.  Pick anything you want about this film.  Anything.  Not only does it do it bad, it does it bad tragically)

[zombie no.one]

Funny Games - An attempt to moralize and attack with a terrible, unpleasant movie. Like Feed, Funny Games thinks it has a lot to say. It does not, it simply wastes the audiences time trying to be meaningful. I've seen a lot of movies that think they're smarter and deeper than they are, most of them have the decency to at least try to be good. Heck, even Starship Troopers had Neil Patrick Harris sodomizing an alien for entertainment.

yes, agree with you here. I thought for about the first 30 minutes that Funny Games was going to be excellent, but by the end I felt very patronized and annoyed by the director. (talking about the original btw, I haven't seen the US remake and don't really want to)