Colonel: So, soldier.. what are you going to tell the captain?
Soldier: I did not see the Colonel playing with his rubber duckie in this tub, he was not going number 2 in the bathwater and.. (sobs) my rectum was distended because I sat on a bedpost. (sobs again)
Colonel: Good boy.
All right Private, it's time to play When Johnny Comes Marching Home
Private: Certainly sir, let me just go and get my bugle.
Colonel: Private, that's NOT what I meant.
Private: Gulp. Can I at least go get the saddle soap, sir?
Colonel: Mmmmmmm...request denied!
Private: Sigh. Very well sir. But would the Colonel plesae not leave "a round in the chamber" this time?"
Colonel: Once more into the Breech!
