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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  Need some good, funny political jokes « previous next »
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Author Topic: Need some good, funny political jokes  (Read 740 times)
indianasmith
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« on: September 28, 2011, 06:39:05 AM »

I am teaching high school government this semester, and I need some good, funny political jokes that are appropriate for sharing with high school kids.  I don't care which side of the aisle they poke fun at, as long as they are funny!  Free karma to everybody who shares a joke on this thread!

And I'll start off with this one, which has been around since the 1872 presidential election (obviously you change the candidates every time):

Barack Obama was campaigning in a residential neighborhood when he saw a little boy with a laundry basket full of newborn puppies playing on his front lawn.  He walked up and complimented the lad on what cute puppies he had, and the kid said "Thanks Mr. President!  These are Democrat puppies!"
  A few weeks later, Obama and Joe Biden were in the same neighborhood and saw the little boy playing with the puppies in his yard - they were much bigger by then. Obama said: "You've got to hear this kid talk about his puppies, Joe!" and they got out of the car.
  "Hey there, young man, remember me?" said Obama.
  "I sure do, Mr. President!" replied the lad.
  "Tell Mr. Biden here what kind of puppies these are."
  "Why sure!  These are Republican puppies!"
  "Now wait a minute!" said Obama.  "A few weeks ago you told me these were Democrat puppies."
  "They were, Mr. President, but now their eyes are open!"


That's the general kind of thing I'm looking for - clean, funny, and preferably something that can be reversed to poke fun at either side.  Thanks for all your help!
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Hammock Rider
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« Reply #1 on: September 28, 2011, 08:10:34 AM »

I'm not sure that these are quite what you're looking for but I did get them from MIlton Berle's Private Joke File. I steal from the best!

He's just the man to get our country moving. If he wins, I'm moving!

I've decided to stop voting. It'll be great not to feel that I'm responsible for what goes on in Washington.

Our last senator did the work of two men-the James brothers!

People who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.


Thank you, I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress.

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LilCerberus
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« Reply #2 on: September 28, 2011, 11:04:54 AM »

Small | Large

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Jack
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« Reply #3 on: September 28, 2011, 12:12:46 PM »

"Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys."

- P.J.O'Rourke

Yeah, it ain't exactly a joke, but oh well.

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Flick James
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« Reply #4 on: September 28, 2011, 12:26:17 PM »

Quote
People who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.

I love that one.
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Flick James
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« Reply #5 on: September 28, 2011, 12:35:28 PM »

Will Rogers was a Democrat, but he was also pretty fair in his jokes. Take your pick and most of his quips will still be relevant today and be appropriate for kids. Here are some examples.


The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best.


If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?


Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.


Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.


About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.


Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week.


Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it.


Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.


That last one is as true today, if not truer, than it was in Will's time.

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El Misfit
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Hi there!


« Reply #6 on: September 28, 2011, 04:27:24 PM »

What's the difference between a group of young kids arguing and Politics arguing? One of them needs to have a higher power to stop them.
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WingedSerpent
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« Reply #7 on: September 28, 2011, 08:47:13 PM »

Not necessarily jokes-but I do have a book of witty quotes on several subjects, including politics.  I'll share some.


I never vote for anymore-I always vote against.
-W.C. Fields

A fool and his money are soon elected
and
I don't make jokes. I just observe the government and report facts.
-will Rogers

a statesman is a dead politician. We need more statesmen
-Bob Edwards

Ninety percent of the politicians give the other 10% a bad reputation
-Henny Kissinger
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At least, that's what Gary Busey told me...
indianasmith
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« Reply #8 on: September 28, 2011, 09:10:45 PM »

From Mark Twain - "Suppose I were an idiot.  Or suppose I was a member of Congress.  But I repeat myself!"

Thanks for all the great responses!  Some of those one liners are going on my "Quote of the Day" list for sure!
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"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day!  "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
"Carpe Ngo Diem!" - Seize the South Vietnamese Dictator!
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