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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Information Exchange  |  Movie Reviews  |  Submitted Reader Reviews  |  A Troll In Central Park (1994) « previous next »
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Author Topic: A Troll In Central Park (1994)  (Read 857 times)
AlienatorDonut
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« on: September 13, 2012, 11:13:11 AM »

color=yellow]A Troll In Central Park
Rated: G/U
1 slime
Copyright Company and Date: 20th Century Fox. A Troll In Central Park is owned by Don Bluth. I own nothing.
Submitted by AlienatorDonut[/color]


THE CHARACTERS

Stanley – A friendly troll who likes flowers and being kissed by little girls!
Rosie – A toddler who is the youngest main character of the film.
Gus – A spoilt young child who likes playing with boats on the river.
Gnorga – An evil queen troll who hates flowers and likes seeing little children suffer.
Llort – The Husband of Gnorga and King of the trolls. (He isn’t as bad as Gnorga, but you should’nt trust someone who is in love with a mean, ugly b***h.) He constantly gets his leg bitten by a troll dog.


LESSONS LEARNED

You can dream about anything and expected it to happen.
It IS possible to grow flowers out of your hand. 
Flowers are animals, not plants.
Trolls get flower orgasms when toddlers kiss them on the cheek!
Magic is real.
                                                                                     


STUFF TO WATCH FOR

02 mins - (Singing!) "I'm a bad troll! A very bad troll! La la la la la la!"
06 mins - A terrible villain song!
07 mins - RANDOM ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST AN INNOCENT VOULTURE!
14 mins - Stanley is sad, because he misses his flowers, and yet he freaking grows flowers out of his hands anyway! WTF?!
20 mins (Approx) - Pedo Kiss!
69 mins - The Ending Credits! Thank God!


NOTABLE QUOTES

Troll 1: "I’m a bad troll! A very bad troll! La la la la la la!”

Gus: "Dreams are silly!”


THE PLOT

A Troll In Central Park is basically an infantile fictional story about a troll named Stanley who gets banished from “The Kingdom Of Trolls” and lands into Central Park where he cheers up some bored children. Stupidly enough, Gnorga (The Queen Troll.) hates flowers, so she sends Stanley to Central Park as a punishment for growing far too many flowers. (Excuse me, it’s a park, there’s plants and flowers everywhere for f**k sake. Even the little children who like watching this piece of crap will know that.) The two children (Rosie and Gus.) escape (Without their babysitter knowing about it.) to Central Park where they meet Stanley and they dance, sing and do babyish stuff for most of the film. (God, help me!) Near the end of the film, (Where we finally f**king get somewhere.) Gnorga finally gets the opportunity to try and kill Stanley (This is a kid’s film, right?) as she tries to do so, by destroying all of Central Park in the process causing a disaster! (This entire movie is a f**king disaster!) The good characters fight back and Gnorga turns into a giant rose bush, putting an end to her cruelty. The children’s parents take Gus and Rosie to Central Park again. (Because they don’t even care if Central Park has been vandalised anyway.) Gus and Rosie are depressed, because Stanley turned into stone, because of Gnorga’s evil power, so Gus manages to unfreeze him, (Because Gus now has a magic thumb!) and the film ends happily with Stanley re-singing his happy song and decorating New York with flowers and putting Central Park back to a healthier and happier looking state. The End!

I felt very reluctant to review this movie, I only reviewed it, simply because it deserved to be reviewed. I can understand that this is a kid’s film and it has some entertainment value, but for a mature audience, it would be considered an embarrassment to watch. (You certainly wouldn’t want to watch it with your Dad!) The animation and music isn’t perfect, but it fits the atmosphere of the movie quite well in some scenes. (Hence why I rated it one slime instead of zero.) However, I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone over the age of eight. If you’re in the mood for watching this movie, watch The Nostalgia Critic’s review of it on YouTube instead, it is hilarious!
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