Things that aren't socially acceptable, but should be

[Jack]

So what do you think you should be able to do that these highfalutin' rules of etiquette prohibit you from doing?

For one, I think that if I'm eating something, and some thoughtless person chooses just that time to start asking me one question after another after another, it should be acceptable for me to just expel that whole mouthful of food in their general direction, with as much force as I can muster.

Anything you guys would like to be given the go-ahead on? 

[akiratubo]

If an old lady is following you around the store, cussing at you because there's an item in your shopping cart that she wants but you won't give her, it should be acceptable to deliver a flying kick into her breadbox.

(Damn it, you old hag, soy milk was one aisle over!  You followed me to cuss at me for farther than you would have had to walk to get your own carton!  What the hell?)

[Paquita]

Yeah!  For 2 years I dyed my hair pink, and then one day my boss and the VP called me into a meeting to ask me to stop because some of the other management thought it was unprofessional and would have trouble accepting them promoting me into a higher position.  So basically, it’s OK for me to dye my hair as long as I limit myself to colors that come natural (or close) to other people.  I guess I get it, but I wish some people weren’t such stuffed up farts.  I miss my pink hair.

[Sleepyskull]

Yeah!  For 2 years I dyed my hair pink, and then one day my boss and the VP called me into a meeting to ask me to stop because some of the other management thought it was unprofessional and would have trouble accepting them promoting me into a higher position.  So basically, it’s OK for me to dye my hair as long as I limit myself to colors that come natural (or close) to other people.  I guess I get it, but I wish some people weren’t such stuffed up farts.  I miss my pink hair.

I get the reasoning, but it's still ridiculous... It's sad that your dyed hair was the deal-breaker.

[Trevor]

it should be acceptable to deliver a flying kick into her breadbox.

  + 

[Psycho Circus]

Farting in kids faces.

[Ash]

Scaring little old ladies at the grocery store.
You know, just walk up behind them out of nowhere in the cereal aisle and yell, "RAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" right at them and watch them jump.

[Mr. DS]

Calling people out on their insanity and suggesting they seek professional help immediately.

[diamondwaspvenom]

Chasing midgets all over downtown while wearing a Chewbacca costume.

[Hammock Rider]

Humming N'Sync songs loudly in public.

[The Burgomaster]

Eating with your elbows on the table.  I mean, what's the big deal?  You're lucky I don't have my feet up on the table!

[Rev. Powell]

Eating with your elbows on the table.  I mean, what's the big deal?  You're lucky I don't have my feet up on the table!

That was my first thought.  Time to put that medieval custom to bed.

[Flick James]

When somebody has a fit of sneezes near me I have an urge to say "Damnit, now you're going to get ME sick." But no. Society says I have to say "bless you."

[ChaosTheory]

When you're at the movies and the person in front of you won't stop texting/talking on their cell, you should have carte blanche to both kick them in the head and smash the phone.

[Javakoala]

I don't understand why I can't scream at someone who is doing something that is driving my happy butt straight up the wall. Example, there is this half-wit phone rep in my cubicle area. She sits just in the edge of my vision. She has a nervous/mental disorder that manifests itself by messing with her hair constantly. Quite seriously, the top of her head is going bald from the damage she is doing to her hair. It is this constant twitchy movement in the corner of my vision all damn day. I understand she has "issues"; so do I. Still, I want to just turn when she is tugging at a clump of hair and scream, "Dammit, stop f@#%ing with your hair!!!"

We won't get started on the fact she is constantly giving out wrong information to Veterans.