Things that aren't socially acceptable, but should be

[tracy]

I think it should be acceptable to knock your boss in the head with a blue metal folding chair because you've been there 6 years doing the exact same job yet he is still telling you how to do it.....plus you were there a year before he even got there....and plus he has the brain power of a slug.

[the Rev. J. Darkside]

If you're in a public place like a grocery store and there are one or more children being really loud or obnoxious and generally polluting the sound spectrum with cries, whines or numerous needlessly high volume requests for nonessential items and the parent(s) aren't doing anything to stop this behavior, then I think it should be acceptable for you or anyone else to take the initiative and give that brat a swat on the butt.

[Flick James]

If you're in a public place like a grocery store and there are one or more children being really loud or obnoxious and generally polluting the sound spectrum with cries, whines or numerous needlessly high volume requests for nonessential items and the parent(s) aren't doing anything to stop this behavior, then I think it should be acceptable for you or anyone else to take the initiative and give that brat a swat on the butt.

If anybody's got a problem with my kid, I suggest they sack up and come to me. Swat my kid and there be more than a swat coming your way, I assure you.

[the Rev. J. Darkside]

If anybody's got a problem with my kid, I suggest they sack up and come to me. Swat my kid and there be more than a swat coming your way, I assure you.

You don't know how many times I'd had to deal with things like this. Asking a parent nicely is she could get her four year old to quit whacking me in the 'nads while we're in line at the check out counter with an action figure (that was taken out of the box but had no intention of being bought but left in between the Snickers and Orbitz gum) only get a blank stare by Mommy. Or a month later at a Kroger's in another state when a man watched his 11 year old son take a can of Raviolis and throw it on my foot, twice, and give me the "I don't know what to tell you," look and not handle the situation. Yet, not my kid, so I can't do anything about it. No other aisles open, I'm screwed because only one person can discipline the kid and that one person isn't doing it.

[tracy]

If anybody's got a problem with my kid, I suggest they sack up and come to me. Swat my kid and there be more than a swat coming your way, I assure you.

You don't know how many times I'd had to deal with things like this. Asking a parent nicely is she could get her four year old to quit whacking me in the 'nads while we're in line at the check out counter with an action figure (that was taken out of the box but had no intention of being bought but left in between the Snickers and Orbitz gum) only get a blank stare by Mommy. Or a month later at a Kroger's in another state when a man watched his 11 year old son take a can of Raviolis and throw it on my foot, twice, and give me the "I don't know what to tell you," look and not handle the situation. Yet, not my kid, so I can't do anything about it. No other aisles open, I'm screwed because only one person can discipline the kid and that one person isn't doing it.

Believe me,I understand how you feel. It really bothers me how some folks ignore disgraceful behavior or even reward it with a treat just to get them to be quiet. This creates spoiled,demanding brats who expect the world. I was extremely lucky with my daughter....she knew what "I can't afford it" or "maybe later" meant at such an early age. It seems so many would rather give in now then gripe about what brats they are later. At the convenience store I work at they will hand the kid a candy bar to shut them up then leave it on the counter while they buy their cigarettes or beer. The kid is mad and confused. I have even had the parent tell the kid that I wouldn't let them have it once or twice,just to shift the blame. That ticks me off so much!

[Flick James]

If anybody's got a problem with my kid, I suggest they sack up and come to me. Swat my kid and there be more than a swat coming your way, I assure you.

You don't know how many times I'd had to deal with things like this. Asking a parent nicely is she could get her four year old to quit whacking me in the 'nads while we're in line at the check out counter with an action figure (that was taken out of the box but had no intention of being bought but left in between the Snickers and Orbitz gum) only get a blank stare by Mommy. Or a month later at a Kroger's in another state when a man watched his 11 year old son take a can of Raviolis and throw it on my foot, twice, and give me the "I don't know what to tell you," look and not handle the situation. Yet, not my kid, so I can't do anything about it. No other aisles open, I'm screwed because only one person can discipline the kid and that one person isn't doing it.

Yeah, parents who don't address their kids' misbehavior in a public place drives me nuts too, but I'm not going to hit their kid. Now, I address my kids' misbehavior so the incident with the can thrown at somebody's foot twice is not going to happen, so that's an extreme case. But, you know, my son who is almost four, one time was in the store, and he was not paying close attention to what he was doing, and walked into a guy who was, I would guess, in his early 60's. The guy started yelling at my kid and scared the s**t out of him. I pulled my kid away and asked the guy "what the f**k is your problem?" I understand he's a older man and I'm not going to get physical with him our of respect for my elders, and he didn't touch my kid, but seriously, what the f**k? Did he misbehave? Was he screaming or throwing cans at your feet? No, he just walked into you. He's not even 4 years old, he's gonna do stuff like that.

Now, I know you're not talking about something like a kid just walking into somebody like that scenario, but, I'm sorry, anybody touches my kid, I'm knockin' 'em out.

And if THAT ain't socially acceptable, I'm gonna do it anyway.

[the Rev. J. Darkside]

Yeah, parents who don't address their kids' misbehavior in a public place drives me nuts too, but I'm not going to hit their kid. Now, I address my kids' misbehavior so the incident with the can thrown at somebody's foot twice is not going to happen, so that's an extreme case. But, you know, my son who is almost four, one time was in the store, and he was not paying close attention to what he was doing, and walked into a guy who was, I would guess, in his early 60's. The guy started yelling at my kid and scared the s**t out of him. I pulled my kid away and asked the guy "what the f**k is your problem?" I understand he's a older man and I'm not going to get physical with him our of respect for my elders, and he didn't touch my kid, but seriously, what the f**k? Did he misbehave? Was he screaming or throwing cans at your feet? No, he just walked into you. He's not even 4 years old, he's gonna do stuff like that.

Now, I know you're not talking about something like a kid just walking into somebody like that scenario, but, I'm sorry, anybody touches my kid, I'm knockin' 'em out.

And if THAT ain't socially acceptable, I'm gonna do it anyway.

I was just talking about a common position that I'm in in which I'm powerless. If the parent sets the kid straight on the spot, then I don't have a problem (other than the initial pain of the attack, if it's one of those days). My problem is when parenting needs doing but is deliberately not being done (either due to apathy or exasperation, it matters not); a common thought is that at that, someone should do something if the parent refuses, but therein lies the problem, because it's only acceptable if the parents do it. So, what to do if they don't? I can't just leave the store with all the items I need just to get them at a different store, and often I'm at the only lane that isn't backed up a mile and a half. Toughing out nearly unbearable screeching is one thing (even though my hearing keeps getting worse because of it), but when I actually get injured (or when some kid flings whatever she's eating on my suit before the funeral) I can't stand for that. I'm with you; someone touches my kid is getting a faceful of fist, but the difference is that there won't be a problem with me or you because we'll be doing the parenting. The parenting needs to be done, and it gets to the point sometimes that I stop caring by who, so I feel if the parents won't take the responsibility, almost anyone else should step up temporarily in loco parentis, which isn't acceptable, hence my post. Not sure if I made sense to you or if I sound like a child beating madman, but being in these situations, often utterly powerless to do anything but plead with the "parent" to control the monster throwing Chef Boyardee at my feet makes me so angry.

[Flick James]

Yeah, parents who don't address their kids' misbehavior in a public place drives me nuts too, but I'm not going to hit their kid. Now, I address my kids' misbehavior so the incident with the can thrown at somebody's foot twice is not going to happen, so that's an extreme case. But, you know, my son who is almost four, one time was in the store, and he was not paying close attention to what he was doing, and walked into a guy who was, I would guess, in his early 60's. The guy started yelling at my kid and scared the s**t out of him. I pulled my kid away and asked the guy "what the f**k is your problem?" I understand he's a older man and I'm not going to get physical with him our of respect for my elders, and he didn't touch my kid, but seriously, what the f**k? Did he misbehave? Was he screaming or throwing cans at your feet? No, he just walked into you. He's not even 4 years old, he's gonna do stuff like that.

Now, I know you're not talking about something like a kid just walking into somebody like that scenario, but, I'm sorry, anybody touches my kid, I'm knockin' 'em out.

And if THAT ain't socially acceptable, I'm gonna do it anyway.

I was just talking about a common position that I'm in in which I'm powerless. If the parent sets the kid straight on the spot, then I don't have a problem (other than the initial pain of the attack, if it's one of those days). My problem is when parenting needs doing but is deliberately not being done (either due to apathy or exasperation, it matters not); a common thought is that at that, someone should do something if the parent refuses, but therein lies the problem, because it's only acceptable if the parents do it. So, what to do if they don't? I can't just leave the store with all the items I need just to get them at a different store, and often I'm at the only lane that isn't backed up a mile and a half. Toughing out nearly unbearable screeching is one thing (even though my hearing keeps getting worse because of it), but when I actually get injured (or when some kid flings whatever she's eating on my suit before the funeral) I can't stand for that. I'm with you; someone touches my kid is getting a faceful of fist, but the difference is that there won't be a problem with me or you because we'll be doing the parenting. The parenting needs to be done, and it gets to the point sometimes that I stop caring by who, so I feel if the parents won't take the responsibility, almost anyone else should step up temporarily in loco parentis, which isn't acceptable, hence my post. Not sure if I made sense to you or if I sound like a child beating madman, but being in these situations, often utterly powerless to do anything but plead with the "parent" to control the monster throwing Chef Boyardee at my feet makes me so angry.

How are you powerless? Does hitting the kid make you powerful?

Children have no accountability, so the parent is responsible for them. The problem rests with the parent, not the child. What purpose does hitting the kid have other than to give you satisfaction? No, hitting the kid will not give you any additional power, and is almost certain to result in a confrontation with the parent anyway? Why not cut to the chase and take it up with the parent? The parent is responsible for the little monster being a little monster. Kids are born little monsters, my friend, despite the common idyllic misconception that they are born little angels.

By the way, where do you live that you deal with this on such an extreme and constant level that you are losing your hearing? I have never dealt with anything even remotely that extreme. If I did, I'm sure I would be a little p**sed off too.

[the Rev. J. Darkside]

How are you powerless? Does hitting the kid make you powerful?

Children have no accountability, so the parent is responsible for them. The problem rests with the parent, not the child. What purpose does hitting the kid have other than to give you satisfaction? No, hitting the kid will not give you any additional power, and is almost certain to result in a confrontation with the parent anyway? Why not cut to the chase and take it up with the parent? The parent is responsible for the little monster being a little monster. Kids are born little monsters, my friend, despite the common idyllic misconception that they are born little angels.

By the way, where do you live that you deal with this on such an extreme and constant level that you are losing your hearing? I have never dealt with anything even remotely that extreme. If I did, I'm sure I would be a little p**sed off too.

I don't go through this anymore. I simply don't go shopping anymore. Ever. Unless it is to a liquor store at like 1 am that is guaranteed to not have little kids in it ever. Smacking a kid doesn't make me feel powerful. However, it would teach the kid that the behavior is bad. That's what spankings are for in the first place, right? Spare the rod, spoil the child. But I can see that I am not explaining myself well, so I'm not going to try anymore when I sound like a chronic child beater (when I haven't smacked any kids at all because it isn't socially acceptable). The main reason I feel the way I do is because about 65-70% of the time, the best response I get is "Don't tell me how to raise my son/daughter!" and absolutely no action taken. The other percentage just give the kid a candy bar or something, which does not help the issue with the kid because the proper message isn't being sent, but I leave it alone because at least the kid isn't bugging me now and it's not my job to raise that kid. But I still worry about him/her because that reward system is screwed up. You should be rewarded for good behavior, not dropping my eggnog on the floor and busting it. I did see well-behaved children in stores and such, also, so it wasn't all of them. But it got to the point that 30% of the time that I'd end up going to a store or an amusement park, an encounter like this would happen, which ends up ruining my week because I am unable to solve my problem and it eats at me. So I started to dread shopping and related activities to the point that I simply have others do it for me. And I've pretty much only mentioned the encounters that completely dig at me. I had a kid, about 5, steal a pen clipped to my pocket. I pointed this out to the mother, she smacked the kid's hand, made him return the pen and apologize. This is a positive experience in the long run for me because I was an instrument in teaching this kid that stealing is wrong. It sends the proper message. Unfortunately, in most encounters, it would be a parent who'd use the "here's a lolly to shut you up," approach, if any measures were taken at all.

[Flick James]

How are you powerless? Does hitting the kid make you powerful?

Children have no accountability, so the parent is responsible for them. The problem rests with the parent, not the child. What purpose does hitting the kid have other than to give you satisfaction? No, hitting the kid will not give you any additional power, and is almost certain to result in a confrontation with the parent anyway? Why not cut to the chase and take it up with the parent? The parent is responsible for the little monster being a little monster. Kids are born little monsters, my friend, despite the common idyllic misconception that they are born little angels.

By the way, where do you live that you deal with this on such an extreme and constant level that you are losing your hearing? I have never dealt with anything even remotely that extreme. If I did, I'm sure I would be a little p**sed off too.

I don't go through this anymore. I simply don't go shopping anymore. Ever. Unless it is to a liquor store at like 1 am that is guaranteed to not have little kids in it ever. Smacking a kid doesn't make me feel powerful. However, it would teach the kid that the behavior is bad. That's what spankings are for in the first place, right? Spare the rod, spoil the child. But I can see that I am not explaining myself well, so I'm not going to try anymore when I sound like a chronic child beater (when I haven't smacked any kids at all because it isn't socially acceptable). The main reason I feel the way I do is because about 65-70% of the time, the best response I get is "Don't tell me how to raise my son/daughter!" and absolutely no action taken. The other percentage just give the kid a candy bar or something, which does not help the issue with the kid because the proper message isn't being sent, but I leave it alone because at least the kid isn't bugging me now and it's not my job to raise that kid. But I still worry about him/her because that reward system is screwed up. You should be rewarded for good behavior, not dropping my eggnog on the floor and busting it. I did see well-behaved children in stores and such, also, so it wasn't all of them. But it got to the point that 30% of the time that I'd end up going to a store or an amusement park, an encounter like this would happen, which ends up ruining my week because I am unable to solve my problem and it eats at me. So I started to dread shopping and related activities to the point that I simply have others do it for me. And I've pretty much only mentioned the encounters that completely dig at me. I had a kid, about 5, steal a pen clipped to my pocket. I pointed this out to the mother, she smacked the kid's hand, made him return the pen and apologize. This is a positive experience in the long run for me because I was an instrument in teaching this kid that stealing is wrong. It sends the proper message. Unfortunately, in most encounters, it would be a parent who'd use the "here's a lolly to shut you up," approach, if any measures were taken at all.

I get what you're saying, and if I've painted a picture of you as a chronic child-beater, I apologize.

I also understand the argument that generations are getting more f***ed up because of lack of discipline. That's not a debate I care to get into, because I am convinced there is NO authoritative evidence either way. The best it could ever be is a conjecture-based argument, and it can only go so far. There is some logic to stern discipline. There are arguments for other forms of nurturing as well, and I'm sure plenty can find examples that support both.

For example, my niece was raised in an environment where she was somewhat spoiled, never spanked, and given a great deal of support in doing what she was passionate about. This is not to say that she was not given guidance, not at all, but her upbringing was certainly in a dramatically different direction that what you seem to believe is more appropriate. She is 13 years old, and an absolutely brilliant student, highly focused, prinicipled. She is an accomplished ballerina on the fast track to becoming a professional. She is plays violin quite well. In short, she is more talented and focused than most people I've ever met and she is 13 years old. My point is, if she had been raised more "under the rod," as you say, I am convinced she would not have ended up this way. It simply is an approach that probably wouldn't have yielded the kind of person she is now. When she was a small child, I remember thinking she was very independent and said things that were stubborn and willful and probably would have gotten her beat under many other parents. My sister and her husband simply took a different approach, and whatever they did, produced an extremely talented, intelligent, and focused individual.

You just never know.

Anyway, I apologize for any vitriole or painting you in an unflattering light. I can do that sometimes. However, I still say, anybody who touches my kid had better be prepared for a showdown.

[El Misfit]

accepting transvestites.

[The Gravekeeper]

Teaching adolescents about aspects of sex that don't have anything to do with procreation, but that they may experience anyway. Nothing hurts your self-esteem quite like being a girl who discovers that girls can ejacuate, then having the guy you're having sex with say something along the lines of "Ewwww!" when it's your first time.

I'm not saying teach them sexual positions, but just let them know that this is something that could happen so they don't freak out if it does.

[JaseSF]

It's sad how much craziness and insanity seems to be the norm nowadays and how many kids have little to no respect for their elders. Personally I think too much is socially acceptable these days, especially as it concerns letting kids get away with bad and inappropriate behaviour while parents no absolutely nothing to set said kid straight.

[El Misfit]

It's sad how much craziness and insanity seems to be the norm nowadays and how many kids have little to no respect for their elders. Personally I think too much is socially acceptable these days, especially as it concerns letting kids get away with bad and inappropriate behaviour while parents do absolutely nothing to set said kid straight.

I know that feeling.

[Psycho Circus]

Nothing hurts your self-esteem quite like being a girl who discovers that girls can ejacuate, then having the guy you're having sex with say something along the lines of "Ewwww!" when it's your first time.

That guy should be exiled from the kingdom of men...