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Latest Member: darkchocolatevoodoo Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  Holiday Triple Feature! BURKE & HARE, FRIGHTNIGHT, and PORKCHOP! « previous next »
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Author Topic: Holiday Triple Feature! BURKE & HARE, FRIGHTNIGHT, and PORKCHOP!  (Read 479 times)
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken

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Posts: 11519

A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!

« on: December 23, 2011, 10:47:08 AM »

The end of the semester left me without a lot of time for bad movie viewing, but I did hit our local Hasting's store Wednesday and returned with three prizes which I have viewed this week.  I'll review in the order I saw them:

BURKE & HARE (2010)  Andy Serkis stars in this quirky comedy set in Scotland in the 1820's.  William Burke and  Robert Hare are two down on their luck peddlers who discover, quite by accident, that fresh cadavers are worth a pretty penny to the local medical hospital.  The problem is finding enough product to deliver - solved easily enough by expanding their repertoire to include startling obese burghers into heart attacks, smothering Napoleonic veterans, and strangling little old ladies.  But Burke is only doing it to help his poor wife kick her alcohol habit, and Hare has fallen in love with a high maintenance showgirl - so their heinous crimes come from the purest of motives!  Lots of cameos by well-known actors and a light-hearted mood that totally belies the grisly subject.  And, as the movie itself reminds you in the opening frames: "The following story is true - except for the parts that aren't!"  This one is a solid dark comedy, with lots of gruesome giggles!

FRIGHTNIGHT (2011)  OK, as a huge fan of the original, I was solidly prepared to hate this flick.  And, of course, it was nowhere near as good as the original.  But, you know what - it's really not that bad, either!  Evil Ed isn't as demented as the original, and Colin Ferrell is nowhere near as good a vampire, but all in all, this was a thoroughly watchable flick if you come into it with low expectations.

PORKCHOP (2011)  Holy cow!  This was a BAD movie.  But it was a very ENJOYABLY bad movie.  It's intended as a bit of a homage to the low budget 1980's slashers, but it doesn't ever take itself seriously enough to be scary.  Let's see - you have the first random gratuitous breast shot about 30 seconds into the thing, followed by the first slicing and dicing of teenagers about 1 minute later.    Then you have the obligatory establishing scene, where the teenagers are picked up one by one and loaded into a VW van to head into the mountains.  Lots of banjo music accompanied by random driving throught he countryside shots, then the traditional stop at the general store, where the creepy clerk (who always seems to be played by the same chubby guy in these movies) directs them to a deserted camp where they can  "cut loose, party, and get totally naked" without a bunch of other folks to interfere with the fun.  Then there is the Potato Chip Jesus of Doom (I'm NOT kidding!) who warns them - well, first, not to go into the bathrooms, then not to go to Camp Wood.  Did I mention that the obligatory nerd in the bunch brings his ROBOT along camping?  The Robot, ELrond, may look like a bunch of cardboard boxes glued together and painted silver, but he has a sassy attitude and a craving for human women - in a sophomoricallly humorous, not menacing, way.  Then there is Pork Chop - the huge, overweight hillbilly in a pig head mask who likes to turn people into bacon sandwiches because his parents killed and ate his pet pig when he was a kid.  This thing is a solid slice of stinky B-movie cheese that only a true Bad Movie Lover could appreciate!  So if you're in the mood for zero budget, campy, robot sexy nonsense, this one should be right up your alley!!!! Cheers

"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day!  "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
"Carpe Ngo Diem!" - Seize the South Vietnamese Dictator!
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