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June 23, 2018, 12:02:28 AM
599193 Posts in 46220 Topics by 6141 Members
Latest Member: Deathmachine Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  Things you learned from a bad movie « previous next »
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Author Topic: Things you learned from a bad movie  (Read 3710 times)
Chainsaw midget
Probably Not Insane
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema

Karma: 365
Posts: 2530

« Reply #15 on: February 21, 2012, 03:55:18 PM »

If your car breaks down, don't go to the creeping looking house/cabin/castle to ask to use theirs. 

Any animals that has fangs can either roar or hiss.  Possibly both. 

Gun shot wounds are either instantly fatal or nothing to worry about. 

When the apocalypse comes, leather and denim will be the only kinds of cloth left. 


Terms & Conditions:  By reading this signature, you, the reader willfully acknowledge that you owe me a dollar.
A NorthCoaster In Texas
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema

Karma: 336
Posts: 3156

Hey....white women were in season.

« Reply #16 on: February 24, 2012, 02:41:18 PM »

Any woman under the age of fifty who wears her hair in a bun, and has glasses, will turn out to be a hottie.

Someone who disappears 1/3-1/2 through the picture will turn up alive, and be the bad guy.

Serial killers always had religious upbringings.

The scientist (journalist) assigned to investigate the strange rash of killings will always be the sheriff's ex-wife.

Giant insects all have a weak spot in the throat that is vulnerable; it is often light in color.

Any doll sent to someone anonomously should be destroyed, immediately.

Richard Jaekel, appearing in any film, should be punched out, on general principles;the same holds for Lorenzo Lamas.

If it's true what they say, that GOD created us in His image, then why should we not love creating, and why should we not continue to do so, as carefully and ethically as we can, on whatever scale we're capable of?

     The choice is simple; refuse to create, and refuse to grow, or build, with care and love.
Dedicated Viewer

Karma: 1
Posts: 14

« Reply #17 on: February 24, 2012, 05:11:51 PM »

While watching "Killer Tomatoes", which I have never been able to get through in one sitting ever, despite repeated attempts, I learned how to flip stuff in a frying pan by practicing with dried beans.

I'm not kidding.
The Black Swordsman
Dedicated Viewer

Karma: 5
Posts: 45

« Reply #18 on: February 25, 2012, 02:15:42 AM »

While watching "Blood Gnomes" I learned: Don't act crazy in a world populated by only bad actors. The only emotion they can successfully convey is anger.

My current project: The Dead Are Watching
Dedicated Viewer

Karma: 3
Posts: 13

« Reply #19 on: February 25, 2012, 03:56:15 AM »

Do the exact opposite of the people in paranormal activity 1.

Imagination is more important than knowledge - Albert Einstein
Bad Movie Lover

Karma: 28
Posts: 457

« Reply #20 on: February 27, 2012, 05:44:49 PM »

if you start to hear banjos playing row faster!

marijuana brownies are high in vitamins t,h, and c

never trust old people

« Reply #21 on: March 10, 2012, 12:25:53 AM »

If it was made in the 80's the geek will get the hot girl, If it's made today, the geek will have to settle for another geek.

The 27 year old playing the 17 year old will think think her 35 year old parents aren't cool.

The black guy is always the toughest (even in the last "Rocky").

There are only 5 overweight people in Hollywood.

The boom mike is also a prop.

Nobody in a horror film owns a gun.

News travels slow at Camp Crystal Lake.

A prequel can turn your favorite movie bad guy into a complete wuss.

Samuel L. Jackson plays the same character in every movie.

Samuel L. Jackson is in every movie.

Horror writers have only seen three movies, they are:

1. Friday the 13th

2. Jaws

3. The Blair Witch Project

The last time Hollywood had an original idea, Jimmy Carter was president.

Jimmy Carter will be played by Martin Sheen.

Every president is played by Martin Sheen.

Every Mexican is played by Danny Trejo.

Danny Trejo is in every movie.

Nudity is required in any bad movie, acting ability is not.

Direct to DVD release is not a bad thing.

Direct to the SYFY channel release is a bad thing.
Dedicated Viewer

Karma: 5
Posts: 29

« Reply #22 on: March 10, 2012, 04:53:40 PM »

Its better to be poor because if you're rich, all your relatives will try to gaslight and/or kill you outright to get your money
i got better
Bad Movie Lover

Karma: 82
Posts: 917

« Reply #23 on: March 11, 2012, 12:29:47 AM »

Did WyreWizard decide to become normal?

« Reply #24 on: March 11, 2012, 12:47:08 AM »

Here are a few more:

The mean girl is always a brunette.

All 80's rock stars wore wigs.

Children are always smarter than their parents.

People from the south are all hideously deformed and will rape and kill you.

Fat guys are always funny.

Anybody wearing glasses is a genius.

Your virginity will keep you alive, but only if you're a girl.

If the murder involves a band, the manager always did it.

All reporters are live on the scene at any time for any reason.

Clint Eastwood is never too old to kick someones ass.
I survived Bucky Larson
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema

Karma: 364
Posts: 5353

Torgo watches you masterbate!

« Reply #25 on: March 11, 2012, 11:41:46 AM »

double elimination arm wrestling tournaments can end with some one only loisng once provided that the person who was defeated only once is a douche and hasn't lost in five years (Over the Top)


Kubrick, Nolan, Hitchcock, Tarantino, Wan, Iñárritu, Scorsese, Chaplin - the elite

I believe in the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.
B-Movie Kraken

Karma: 1130
Posts: 10304

« Reply #26 on: March 11, 2012, 11:57:23 AM »

Being confined to a bed for years can build your muscles up to the point where you've got superhuman strength.  (Prom Night IV)

Any shed or building set on fire will invariably explode when the main character has run just far enough away to be knocked down by the force of the blast, but not otherwise injured. 

Virgins usually have a slut for a best friend.

The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion.

- Paulo Coelho
El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
B-Movie Kraken

Karma: 885
Posts: 11616

Hi there!

« Reply #27 on: March 12, 2012, 08:33:16 PM »

Actin is not a requirement, only trying to make the words out is.

yeah no.
B-Movie Kraken

Karma: 1774
Posts: 13609

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped!

« Reply #28 on: March 13, 2012, 01:28:17 AM »

Did WyreWizard decide to become normal?
What's normal?

If you want to view paradise . . . simply look around and view it!
A Very Bad Person, overweight bald guy with a missing tooth, and
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema

Karma: 357
Posts: 4548

« Reply #29 on: March 13, 2012, 12:25:31 PM »

Did WyreWizard decide to become normal?
What's normal?
Normal is what people are until you get to know them...

"Science Fiction & Nostalgia have become the same thing!" - T Bone Burnett
Normal is what people are until you get to know them.
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