mbrown06
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« on: April 23, 2012, 09:43:23 AM » |
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Ozone: Attack of the Redneck Mutants Rated: Not Rated 4 slimes Copyright Company and Date:Full Moon Features, 1987 Submitted by Mbrown06
THE CHARACTERS
Kevin - Our geeky male protagonist. So annoying, you'll want him dead. Scott Davis. Arlene - Strong girl, works with Kevin to fight mutants. Blue Thompson. Un-named Rednecks 1-25 - The sheep of this film. These are the guys who get killed.
LESSONS LEARNED
A pumpkin thrown and a zombie attacking have similiar strengths. Fish are the prefered food of zomibes. Karaoke is evil.
STUFF TO WATCH FOR Early on: A flushing Port O Potty? Where can I get this redneck technology? Throughout it: Exploding pumpkins Throughout it: Sausage guts are less tasty when they're vomti flavored.
NOTABLE QUOTES
Arlene: "If we lose the ozone layer, we'll all become mutants." Mutants: "Ugh!"
Grandma: "Ooh Ooh Ooh, little fishy, little fishy!"
THE PLOT This film is a masterpeice. We start out in a factory, in which chemicals spill into the water supply. As we all know, chemicals convert anyone who drinks them into mutants. Next, we see a man and his dog drinking water. Yes, we do get a zombie mutant dog. Anyway, Redneck 1 kills Redneck 2, end scene. At last, we meet our character, Arlene and Kevin. For some unexplained reason, Kevin is in her car's trunk. After a few minutes of slightly disturbing grunts, Arlene finds out about him. She yells at him.
The next few minutes of the film get REALLY boring, so I'm going to skip ahead a bit. Remember our good friend the zombie mutant dog? Well, Kevin decides he should put his foot in a hole, and it gets grabbed by everyone's favorite zombie mutant canine. GOOD DOG, KILL! Unfortunatly for us, Arlene saves him (DAMN YOU ARLENE). Then we get a "science" talk about the ozone. Wait, weren't the zombies caused by chemicals?
Anyway, next we meet our first named redneck. Just because I chose not to remember it does not mean he didn't have one. He's talking with his girlfriend (who apparently is going to sing karaoke, god help us) and he has to leave. Next we meet his little old lady grandma. Grandma has a fish. And a chicken in a barrel. Wackiness ensues.
After a lot of driving, Arlene and Kevin make it to Un-Named Redneck 1's house. A mutant is there. He throws a pumpkin at their car (which doesn't break the windshield). The zombie proceeds to vomit a lot. They call Karaoke Girlfriend guy, and he saves them. He ends up drinking some water. Bad idea. But first we all drive to Grandma's house. He turns into a zombie, and runs away.
Now time for the cinematic vomit (literally and metaphrically). We cut to his girlfriend, singing some karaoke. Then a little old lady sings a song about Jesus for what seems like 10 minutes strait. DEEP HURTING. However, my favorite scene is about to come from this.
Zombies enter the karaoke bar. They proceed to kill everyone, then play with their sausage organs, then vomit on them some more. Pure cinematic brilliance. Surprisingly, it's not at all gross. You hate the old lady that much.
I'm trying to think of a way to end this. The movie doesn't really end, so why should my review. Ok, so the movie ends with (SPOILERS) Arlene turning into a zombie and making grunting noises. The end.
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