Movies you bet no one here has seen

[claws]

Staplerfahrer Klaus (2000) - forklift driver Klaus.

The DVD made it rounds with us colleagues where I used to work at years ago. It certainly was a must-see back then. Especially since we had a fork-lift driver named Klaus at work. He wasn't very amused about the movie.

[Svengoolie 3]

"My Son John".

I'm kinda glad this is a little seen movie as it's really awful. Imagine all the commie fear of the early 50's distilled 7 times over, concentrated, purified and crystallized into a dose of utter, pure intolerance, paranoia and jingoism.

MSJ is that dose.

The movie is so soaked in fear of "DUH COMMEEZ!!!" and their intolerance of other ways of life and other views plus their totalitarian regime it pretty much advocates america becoming a society so utterly intolerant of the slightest dissent or other view that it becomes a totalitarian regime in which everyone not utterly subservient to god and country are regarded as time bombs of treason just waiting to go off.

Intellectuals are portrayed as borderline traitors whose minds are open to all sorts of weird, subversive ideas when they're not being watched by good old red blooded patriots whose minds ar hermetically sealed against any  thought that isn't 110% far right approved.

Here's a link to a review of it that really tears it a new one.

http://www.tcm.com/this-month/article/276077%7C0/My-Son-John.html

I had the misfortune of  seeing it once and "Eeeeyeeew!" A  man's son is dying right in front of him after sustaining mortal wounds to save his father's life, and the father looks at him with a cold indifference as he pleads for him to deliver a message to his classmates, copping a "Eh, maybe." attitude while looking like he wishes his son wasn't taking so long ti die.

The end scene, with the dead son's voice apparently descending form heaven in a shaft of light to deliver a "DON'T THINK! IT'S BAD!" message to a college class required an effort not to vomit while watching.

[Rev. Powell]

I`ll admit it's cheating, bacause i) German and ii) not a real movie. But someone might have a laugh off it.

Staplerfahrer Klaus (2000) - forklift driver Klaus.

A short film that comes along as a instructional film of the workers' compensation board on safety at work and accident prevention regulations (I had to google-translate most of that). I don`t want to spoil, but - hint - it is not.

The movie was actually rather successful back then, even got some awards and was shown in Cannes.

And you can see it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlJjL-1Zfng

Actually, I have seen it (at least the gore bits) and I think a lot of other people have (at least the gore bits). It briefly went viral years back (well, the gore bits did).

[bob]

an uncle gave me this as a gift a few years ago

it's not good

[Svengoolie 3]

an uncle gave me this as a gift a few years ago

it's not good

This movie was an old fashioned freak show on film...

[LilCerberus]

an uncle gave me this as a gift a few years ago

it's not good

I once saw an abridged version of this on Night Flights....
http://www.badmovies.org/movies/tinytown/

[retrorussell]

CHERRY HILL HIGH (1977)
Really, really awful sex comedy-- they were doing a bunch of them in the 70s-- but with the lamest jokes/humor/shenanigans.  HS girls trying to see who can lose their virginity first (what an original concept!).  I remember this on Showtime late at night and saw about 10 minutes of it before I gave up.  Not to be confused with the Billy Joe Royal song "Cherry Hill Park".

[frank]

an uncle gave me this as a gift a few years ago

it's not good

At first I thought that was the English translation of "Auch Zwerge haben klein angefangen" (1970, Even Dwarfs Started Small). I enjoyed this early work by Werner Herzog at the local bad movie club (not exisitent anymore...).

[Svengoolie 3]

an uncle gave me this as a gift a few years ago

it's not good

I once saw an abridged version of this on Night Flights....
http://www.badmovies.org/movies/tinytown/

Well you were spared the full suffering this movie usually causes. Count yourself among the fortunate.

[Trevor]

Not many SA films made during the 1960s and 1970s were made available overseas due to apartheid but many of the classics are on Youtube now, like Wild Season and Katrina, not to forget SA's first horror film, the eerie Jannie Totsiens.

[Gabriel Knight]

an uncle gave me this as a gift a few years ago

it's not good

Andrew actually reviewed that one and I kinda wanted to watch it after that. 

[claws]

CHERRY HILL HIGH (1977)
Really, really awful sex comedy-- they were doing a bunch of them in the 70s-- but with the lamest jokes/humor/shenanigans.  HS girls trying to see who can lose their virginity first (what an original concept!).  I remember this on Showtime late at night and saw about 10 minutes of it before I gave up.  Not to be confused with the Billy Joe Royal song "Cherry Hill Park".

Never seen or heard of. The same director made Cheerleaders Beach Party right after Cherry Hill High



Based on IMDb's rating it is even worse than Cherry High.

[RCMerchant]

I seen TERROR OF TINY TOWN. I usta have it on vhs.
I may have seen CHERRY HILL HIGH on Cinemax once back in the early 80's....

[cqmorrell]

How about Rolling Vengeance?
Canadian B-movie about a trucker using a custom monster truck to kill the hicks that killed his family

[RCMerchant]

^ I HAVE seen that!