Piranhaconda (2012)

[WingedSerpent]

For starters, I think there is something to be said for the fact that the Syfy channel originals have given up ANY pretense of being anything other then shlocky cheap films and in fact seem to be embracing it.  One of their latest Piranhaconda  is no exception.

There's two sort of main plots; one involving Micheal Madsen as a herpetologist who is trying to get an egg back to civilization and the other is about a group of kidnappers who have taken a film crew hostage. There also seems to be several smaller plots going on-but they are often introduced and dealt with in the same scene.

The acting is mediocre at best, most really aren't that good. And poor Rachel Hunter. She goes through this entire movie with the expression on her face that tells you she realizes that she was one one of biggest supermodels in the world and is now starting in a bit part in a movie about a giant killer snake creature.

The titular Piranhaconda-to me was not all that interesting.  It really is just a giant snake with a piranha's head and teeth. Its the same problem I have with the glut of movies about killer sharks and spiders.  I'd like a more original looking monster- or find some new animal to exploit.  Anyway, despite being nearly 70 ft long, it has the amazing ability to get a few inches from some of the characters faces before its noticed.

A few good bad movie moments though. Like when some people are supposedly in the deep jungle yet are clearly walking on paths from the resort, and in a few shots-roads and other man made structures could be seen.  Also that people seem to explode like balloons filled with fake blood when eaten.

In the end all I can really say about it is that  "It's a Syfy movie".  You should be able to figure out all you need to from that sentence.

[Rev. Powell]

I'm afraid these Scyfy aquatic monster movies jumped the megashark about a year ago.

[Jack]

I actually enjoy these stupid things, and there's like...two or three dozen of them now     They're fun, they're littered with babes in bikinis, they're...fun.  At least they're more entertaining than a lot of those older SyFy movies that were just dull.  If your antagonist is a bargain basement CGI snake, you might as well just drop the pretense and go with it.

[zombie no.one]

I'm afraid these Scyfy aquatic monster movies jumped the megashark about a year ago.

agreed, I vaguely enjoyed the octopus one with debbie gibson from a few yrs back (on an ironic level of course), but since watching a couple more the phrase "flogging a dead horse" almost seems too kind..

If these things are supposed to be our modern day 'bad movies' then I'm afraid they just don't measure up to 60s/70s/80s bad movies in terms of enjoyment factor, for me. they have none of that innocent charm or bizarre randomness that makes old bad movies special. total reliance on CGI doesn't help either

[Raffine]

To me what separates these things from the bad movies of the past is intent. Ed Wood, Phil Tucker, Andy Milligan, Larry Buchanan, etc. didn't think at the time they were making 'bad movies' - they were doing the best they could with very limited resources and talent. Of course, the results were usually pretty funny.

The SyFy folks are now intentionally trying to make schlocky bad movies and it shows. Some of their older ones like SNAKEHEAD TERROR, FRANKENFISH, ABOMINABLE (with the cartoony bloodthirsty bigfoot - A favorite!), and SAVAGE PLANET (that one about the alien planet of bear stock footage! An Andrew favorite!), back when they were at least pretending to make quality films, can be actually quite effective and are still fun.


SAVAGE PLANET

[zombie no.one]

To me what separates these things from the bad movies of the past is intent. Ed Wood, Phil Tucker, Andy Milligan, Larry Buchanan, etc. didn't think at the time they were making 'bad movies' - they were doing the best they could with very limited resources and talent. Of course, the results were usually pretty funny.

The SyFy folks are now intentionally trying to make schlocky bad movies and it shows.

I agree with this to an extent, but it implies the SyFy people could make a genuinely good film if they wanted, and I don't believe this is the case.

[Ed, Ego and Superego]

I dunno, the NAMES are enough entertainment.  I'm holding out for
Squirrelopus
Crocobunny
And the immortal
Pirhanagatorsquid

[Raffine]

To me what separates these things from the bad movies of the past is intent. Ed Wood, Phil Tucker, Andy Milligan, Larry Buchanan, etc. didn't think at the time they were making 'bad movies' - they were doing the best they could with very limited resources and talent. Of course, the results were usually pretty funny.

The SyFy folks are now intentionally trying to make schlocky bad movies and it shows.

I agree with this to an extent, but it implies the SyFy people could make a genuinely good film if they wanted, and I don't believe this is the case.

Actually what I meant was the SyFy folks could try to make a genuinely good low budget film about a giant former sitcom star-eating octorangutan and come out with a entertainingly bad movie. 

Again: some of their earlier, more serious-minded attempts like RAPTOR ISLAND and PTERODACTYL are actually quite a lot of fun.