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Author Topic: Animate Human Skeletons  (Read 1449 times)
WyreWizard
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« on: February 06, 2013, 12:21:18 PM »

Ah yes, an old B movie horror staple.  Human skeletons without any muscles, eyes or any soft tissue able to move around and even see.

I often wondered who came up with these ideas.  There is no way a skeleton can move around and be able to see.

If a skeleton were made animate.  The damn thing wouldn't be able to hold itself together because it has no ligaments anywhere on its form.  It shouldn't be able to see either because it has no eyes.  And it shouldn't be able to talk either because it has no lungs or larynx.

I have played the game Diablo II and there were truckloads of animate Skeletons in that game.  The playable Necromancer is able to summon human skeletons from fallen foes, mostly which aren't human!  I often laugh at the skeleton archers able to aim their bows without eyes.

I have a hypothetical question for you all.  Lets say you're sitting in your favorite easy chair, recliner or sofa watching your favorite bad movie when you hear a knock on your door.  You get up to answer it and you find an animate skeleton behind it!  The skeleton waves at you and says "Hi there,  I need directions.  I'm looking for (name here) street.  Can you tell me how to find it?"  What would you do?  Slam the door in his face?  Give him the directions he needs?  Or invite him in for some fun?
« Last Edit: February 06, 2013, 02:03:18 PM by WyreWizard » Logged

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Bushma
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« Reply #1 on: February 06, 2013, 01:40:51 PM »

I have a hypothetical question for you all.  Lets say you're sitting in your favorite easy chair, recliner or sofa watching your favorite bad movie when you hear a knock on your door.  You get up to answer it and you find an animate skeleton behind it!  The skeleton waves at you and says "Hi there,  I need directions.  I'm looking for (name here) street.  Can you tell me how to find it?"  What would you do?  Slam the door in the face?  Give him the directions he needs?  Or invite him in for some fun?

Ok.

Step 1. Crap myself.  I'm not ashamed to admit it!  Like you wouldn't do the same thing!
Step 2. Slam the door and scream like my 5 year old daughter.  I'm not ashamed to admit that either!
Step 3. Gather the family in one room, and arm them with blunt objects. (sharp cutting things don't break bone)
Step 4. Draw a circle of salt around us.  Obviously it's a magical skeleton and movies teach me that magic stuff has problems with salt for some reason.  High blood pressure maybe...
Step 5.  Prepare to die, because if there are magical skeletons roaming around more nasty things are coming.


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WyreWizard
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« Reply #2 on: February 06, 2013, 02:07:06 PM »


Ok.

Step 1. Crap myself.  I'm not ashamed to admit it!  Like you wouldn't do the same thing!
Step 2. Slam the door and scream like my 5 year old daughter.  I'm not ashamed to admit that either!
Step 3. Gather the family in one room, and arm them with blunt objects. (sharp cutting things don't break bone)
Step 4. Draw a circle of salt around us.  Obviously it's a magical skeleton and movies teach me that magic stuff has problems with salt for some reason.  High blood pressure maybe...
Step 5.  Prepare to die, because if there are magical skeletons roaming around more nasty things are coming.

Wow I'd hate to see how you'd react if everyone of your neighbors moved out and families of animate skeletons moved in.  You'd see skeletons driving cars, fixing their houses, skeleton children playing on the street, and you'd even see animate skeletons of dogs and cats.  I'd hate to see how you'd react to all that.
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LilCerberus
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« Reply #3 on: February 06, 2013, 02:36:22 PM »

I'd wonder who their chiropractor is..... Despite their lack of cartilage.
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Rev. Powell
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« Reply #4 on: February 06, 2013, 04:32:33 PM »


I have a hypothetical question for you all.  Lets say you're sitting in your favorite easy chair, recliner or sofa watching your favorite bad movie when you hear a knock on your door.  You get up to answer it and you find an animate skeleton behind it!  The skeleton waves at you and says "Hi there,  I need directions.  I'm looking for (name here) street.  Can you tell me how to find it?"  What would you do?  Slam the door in his face?  Give him the directions he needs?  Or invite him in for some fun?

I'd be scared---no bones about it!
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LilCerberus
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« Reply #5 on: February 06, 2013, 04:36:48 PM »

Having no eyes, Nor any ability to make a facial expression, I'd wonder if they notice my collection of toy skulls, & if they recognize who each toy skull was modeled after.......
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Bushma
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« Reply #6 on: February 06, 2013, 04:37:11 PM »

Wow I'd hate to see how you'd react if everyone of your neighbors moved out and families of animate skeletons moved in.  You'd see skeletons driving cars, fixing their houses, skeleton children playing on the street, and you'd even see animate skeletons of dogs and cats.  I'd hate to see how you'd react to all that.


A whole family?!  Dogs, big dogs, big hungry dogs, LOTS OF THEM!
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LilCerberus
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« Reply #7 on: February 06, 2013, 04:39:27 PM »

Wow I'd hate to see how you'd react if everyone of your neighbors moved out and families of animate skeletons moved in.  You'd see skeletons driving cars, fixing their houses, skeleton children playing on the street, and you'd even see animate skeletons of dogs and cats.  I'd hate to see how you'd react to all that.


A whole family?!  Dogs, big dogs, big hungry dogs, LOTS OF THEM!

Gee... I wonder what the dog would bury in the back yard.....
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WyreWizard
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« Reply #8 on: February 06, 2013, 06:13:01 PM »

A whole family?!  Dogs, big dogs, big hungry dogs, LOTS OF THEM!

Gee... I wonder what the dog would bury in the back yard.....

Hmm, gee IDK.  Maybe his owners femur?  LOL!!!  I'd laugh my ass off seeing the whole family dig up the whole yard trying to find Dad's femur.
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indianasmith
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« Reply #9 on: February 06, 2013, 06:20:27 PM »

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WyreWizard
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« Reply #10 on: February 06, 2013, 06:21:19 PM »

Having no eyes, Nor any ability to make a facial expression, I'd wonder if they notice my collection of toy skulls, & if they recognize who each toy skull was modeled after.......

I just thought up something funny Cerberus.  Its last Saturday and the big game starts in a few mins.  You hear a knock at your door.  You open it to find 5 animate skeletons.  Some of them carrying beer, some carrying chips and salsa and some carrying pastries.  The first one says to you "Hey, we have come for a little superbowl party and you have the best TV in the neighborhood.  We have brought all the far for you to enjoy."  You laugh and let them in.  They put the fare on the coffee table and sit down.  You sit in a recliner and enjoy some of the fare while watching the game.

The skeletons all cheer, laugh and scream at the TV.  One of them is walking around when he sees your toy skull collection and says "Hey I know all these people.!"
Logged

Babe, I'm leaving.  I must be on my way.  The time is drawing near.  The train is going.  I see it in your eyes.  The love beneath your tears.  And I'll be lonely without you.  And I'll need your love to see me through.  So please me.  My heart is your hands.  And I'll be missing you...
Bushma
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Karma: 99
Posts: 861



« Reply #11 on: February 06, 2013, 07:24:21 PM »

Having no eyes, Nor any ability to make a facial expression, I'd wonder if they notice my collection of toy skulls, & if they recognize who each toy skull was modeled after.......

I just thought up something funny Cerberus.  Its last Saturday and the big game starts in a few mins.  You hear a knock at your door.  You open it to find 5 animate skeletons.  Some of them carrying beer, some carrying chips and salsa and some carrying pastries.  The first one says to you "Hey, we have come for a little superbowl party and you have the best TV in the neighborhood.  We have brought all the far for you to enjoy."  You laugh and let them in.  They put the fare on the coffee table and sit down.  You sit in a recliner and enjoy some of the fare while watching the game.

The skeletons all cheer, laugh and scream at the TV.  One of them is walking around when he sees your toy skull collection and says "Hey I know all these people.!"
... and no one ever hears from you again.  The police attempt to conduct a thorough investigation however there are no finger prints or hair left behind.  All they find is a bloody, gore covered recliner where you used to be.
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El Misfit
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« Reply #12 on: February 06, 2013, 08:41:36 PM »

If animate skeletons came to my house, I will ask who gave me drugs. Also, even if skeletons came to life through magic, there's no way that they can talk- magic can do a lot of things, but it can't give skeletons voices without the vocal cords, which is part of your tissue if I remember correctly.



Wrong meme Indy, it should be Willy Wonka, not the Overly Attached Girlfriend.
« Last Edit: February 06, 2013, 08:52:16 PM by El Misfit » Logged

yeah no.
WyreWizard
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« Reply #13 on: February 06, 2013, 09:41:54 PM »

If animate skeletons came to my house, I will ask who gave me drugs. Also, even if skeletons came to life through magic, there's no way that they can talk- magic can do a lot of things, but it can't give skeletons voices without the vocal cords, which is part of your tissue if I remember correctly.



Wrong meme Indy, it should be Willy Wonka, not the Overly Attached Girlfriend.


What if they spoke with sign language?
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Babe, I'm leaving.  I must be on my way.  The time is drawing near.  The train is going.  I see it in your eyes.  The love beneath your tears.  And I'll be lonely without you.  And I'll need your love to see me through.  So please me.  My heart is your hands.  And I'll be missing you...
Rev. Powell
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« Reply #14 on: February 06, 2013, 10:03:29 PM »

If animate skeletons came to my house, I will ask who gave me drugs. Also, even if skeletons came to life through magic, there's no way that they can talk- magic can do a lot of things, but it can't give skeletons voices without the vocal cords, which is part of your tissue if I remember correctly.



Wrong meme Indy, it should be Willy Wonka, not the Overly Attached Girlfriend.


What if they spoke with sign language?



Why would Willy Wonka and the Overly Attached Girlfriend speak in sign language?
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"The best parts are watching Sly go through the full range of emotions: deadpan, deadpan with raised eyebrow, deadpan with quivering lip. There's also a great sequence where Sly drives his VW Beetle down the interstate for about 20 minutes, staring dramatically through the windshield.."-Joe Bob on A MAN CALLED RAMBO
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