A British man was caught pleasuring himself in the meat aisle
of a UK supermarket;
Fortunately, the only meat he touched was his own.
Eugenio Freitas, 49, "fully intended" to go shopping at a local supermarket when he got extremely horny, became overwhelmed by his "excessive sexual drive," and began touching himself through his pants in the meat aisle, according to a UK court hearing. Closed circuit television recorded Freitas with his hands in his pockets for about 10 minutes.
A female employee at the Staffordshire supermarket saw Freitas, but did not realize that he was masturbating. She thought that he was merely "adjusting himself."
Caught red-handed, Freitas pleaded guilty to "outraging public decency." He was given a six month suspended sentence and banned from setting foot inside any UK supermarket without an adult chaperone.