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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  Weird News Stories  |  Man caught pleasuring self in meat aisle « previous next »
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Author Topic: Man caught pleasuring self in meat aisle  (Read 3789 times)
sprite75
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I'm a Mac...


« on: December 16, 2013, 11:04:37 PM »

A British man was caught pleasuring himself in the meat aisle of a UK supermarket;

Quote
Fortunately, the only meat he touched was his own.

Eugenio Freitas, 49, "fully intended" to go shopping at a local supermarket when he got extremely horny, became overwhelmed by his "excessive sexual drive," and began touching himself through his pants in the meat aisle, according to a UK court hearing. Closed circuit television recorded Freitas with his hands in his pockets for about 10 minutes.

A female employee at the Staffordshire supermarket saw Freitas, but did not realize that he was masturbating. She thought that he was merely "adjusting himself."

Caught red-handed, Freitas pleaded guilty to "outraging public decency." He was given a six month suspended sentence and banned from setting foot inside any UK supermarket without an adult chaperone.
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God of making the characteristic which becomes dirty sends the hurricane.
indianasmith
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A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2013, 12:21:01 AM »

They should upgrade the charge to "unauthorized salami fondling!"
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El Misfit
[Insert witty here]
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Hi there!


« Reply #2 on: December 17, 2013, 01:29:24 AM »

Damn, Viagra side effects  sure goes a long way....
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yeah no.
Gst0395
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« Reply #3 on: December 17, 2013, 04:59:19 AM »

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook.

Maybe do it a little more private next time?
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Ed, Ego and Superego
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« Reply #4 on: December 17, 2013, 01:08:12 PM »

Well you read all those marinades and it does say "Rub on Meat".  So who can blame him.
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Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari?

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retrorussell
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« Reply #5 on: December 17, 2013, 02:49:59 PM »

Caught red-handed.. or white-handed?
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"O the legend they say, on a Valentine's Day, is a curse that'll live on and on.."
Gst0395
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« Reply #6 on: December 17, 2013, 03:52:30 PM »

Caught red-handed.. or white-handed?
Oh snap!
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Umaril Has Returned
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« Reply #7 on: December 17, 2013, 04:40:27 PM »

They should upgrade the charge to "unauthorized salami fondling!"

This story could have been worse, Indy. You said it was unauthorized salami fondling?  Well, think of it this way, he could have been pounding his pepperoni instead...   Twirling BounceGiggle
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bob
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Torgo watches you masterbate!


« Reply #8 on: December 17, 2013, 11:13:38 PM »

talk about beating your meat...
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I believe in the international communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.
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