A struggling musician

[diamondwaspvenom]

Hey, guys.

As some of you may remember, I used to be a vocalist in a band. Well, not anymore. Here's the details of what happened:

After the record was made, my ex-guitarist's ego skyrocketed. He acted as if the record was the best thing in the world, as did the other band mates. I however did not share their enthusiasm. For the most part I found it was a weak record that severely lacked in heaviness and all around good songs. Plus that cover art was absolutely atrocious in every sense of the word. I was embarrassed by the whole thing, ashamed of being part in that mediocre band.

With the ex-guitarist's ego, he was deluded into thinking that everything he made was gold. He began to write a lot of material that quite frankly wasn't that great. Once you heard the first three songs, you heard them all. Same scales, same chord progressions, same drivel. What was worse was whenever he arranged my songs. Let's say my tune was slow and doomy like Black Sabbath or Candlemass. He would take it, speed it up, add a cheesy melody and a f**king breakdown on top of it all! It would be a complete betrayal to my original artistic vision. Worst part was that he thought it sounded better.

From then on, there were a lot of artistic and personality clashes. It got so bad that it began to affect my sleep. I'd go home in a bad mood, have disturbing dream and then wake up feeling worse. At that point, I had had enough and knew it was time to move on.

And so I left the group on relatively good terms, but the damage had still been done. During the summer, I changed my vocal style to a more thrash/punk oriented style. The growls and screams screwed up my voice like something else so I tried something that came more naturally to me. Along with the change in vocals I also worked on my song writing and lyrical compositions. Eventually, I felt ready to form a band.

It began with me asking around to see if any friends knew any available musicians. I was able to contact a few but was later told that they weren't available due to a busy schedule. Time after time, it kept happening and I grew more frustrated.

Eventually, I put up an ad on Craigslist in hope of meeting interested musicians. Not many replied, but among them I met a guy named Max. Eighteen years of age, living on his own and plays guitar really well. We met a few times and really got along well. I thought that at last I'd get a band formed.

I was wrong.

DEAD wrong.

On the following week, Max tells me that he had to be hospitalized because he had woken up with half of his face numb. He was treated and let go, but under careful supervision. Next thing you know, it happens again and this time his whole right side was affected. It was later found out that he was suffering from Balo's Sclerosis, a rare form of Multiple Sclerosis.

I didn't give up on him. In fact, I visited him many times to support him and show that I was not willing to give up. It wasn't fair that he had to suffer through this and I felt cursed from leaving my former band.

Max was eventually released in October and has been doing well, although his guitar playing will take some time. I discovered Tuvan throat singing and have changed my vocal style yet again. We're still hanging out to this day and exchanging musical ideas.

My former band, on the other hand, got a new vocalist and they're doing better. You can imagine my frustration, anger and jealousy when I heard of this. It just didn't feel fair that I had to go through this and they get a cake walk.

As the year is coming to an end, I've been trying to stay positive despite what has happened. It's been real tough, but I know that there's a light at the end of this very dark tunnel. Being a religious guy, I know the big man is there and helping me through this along with friends and family.

[Rev. Powell]

Sad story---wish I could say it was unusual, but its not. It's tough out there. There's a reason they call it "paying your dues."

I say, to last in any creative job you have to do it because you love it; you can't keep chasing success. Success will come with hard work, and also with a good dose of luck.

If you're still out there trying to make it as a a musician after a couple of disappointments, you're probably in pretty deep. Good luck the rest of the way. 

[zombie no.one]

Sorry to hear that. However you seemed to be pretty enthusiastic about the album when it dropped, iirc? Things are always clearer in hindsight I guess.

Having personally witnessed a local metal band implode due to one member's ego, it's the ones that 'walked away' and didn't get embroiled in the drama that came off best in the end...

[lester1/2jr]

you're still young, there's plenty of time. leaving the band that turned the worm (is that an expression?)  showed good judgment.

[Jack]

You have to keep in mind that chasing your dreams is a lifelong endeavor.  It may not work out the first, second or even third time.  Just learn from the experience and take that with you as you move forward.

And best of luck! 

[zelmo73]

DSPVenom, it sounds like your old band are a bunch of sellout corporate rock whores. The old band Testament went through a similar commercialization fiasco after Metallica's 'Black Album' was released, and they had to get rid of the one guy that was trying to take them in a more corporate rock direction before they finally found themselves again. Yeah, the damage had already been done and there was no living up to it afterward, but their later albums in the late '90s at least restored their integrity somewhat.

Staying true to yourself while others are selling out around you might look bad at first, but seeing as how you're going toward a more thrash/punk genre is promising, since the underground scene is alive and well, despite the current iPod Generation that is filling up the pop charts with garbage. Just promise yourself not to go the pop/punk road a la Green Day and Rise Against, and you'll be fine.

I recommend taking advantage of social media. Pimp your band via Facebook, Myspace, Instagram, Twitter, etc. Get your name out there. If The Great Kat can keep her career alive at 47 years old by bombarding her name everywhere she goes, even though her music isn't really anybody's cup of tea, then it can work for you too! Be like the Great Kat, dude:

[diamondwaspvenom]

DSPVenom, it sounds like your old band are a bunch of sellout corporate rock whores. The old band Testament went through a similar commercialization fiasco after Metallica's 'Black Album' was released, and they had to get rid of the one guy that was trying to take them in a more corporate rock direction before they finally found themselves again. Yeah, the damage had already been done and there was no living up to it afterward, but their later albums in the late '90s at least restored their integrity somewhat.

Staying true to yourself while others are selling out around you might look bad at first, but seeing as how you're going toward a more thrash/punk genre is promising, since the underground scene is alive and well, despite the current iPod Generation that is filling up the pop charts with garbage. Just promise yourself not to go the pop/punk road a la Green Day and Rise Against, and you'll be fine.

I recommend taking advantage of social media. Pimp your band via Facebook, Myspace, Instagram, Twitter, etc. Get your name out there. If The Great Kat can keep her career alive at 47 years old by bombarding her name everywhere she goes, even though her music isn't really anybody's cup of tea, then it can work for you too! Be like the Great Kat, dude:

Well, in a way they were gradually turning into sellouts because they were dabbling more into metalcore, deathcore and melodic death metal. In other words, they began catering to what the mainstream in our area like. I've got nothing against melo-death, but I'll take Morbid Angel and Autopsy over In Flames and Dark Tranquility any day of the week. And as for core...let's just say the only core music I like is old school hardcore punk and grindcore. The rest to me is garbage.

I'm an old school guy through and through. With few modern exceptions, I primarily listen to bands from the 80s and 90s (Ozzy Osbourne, Iron Maiden, King Diamond, Mercyful Fate, Slayer, Morbid Angel, Cannibal Corpse, Death, Mayhem, Venom and plenty of others). Everyone else in that band mainly loved newer metal, so we were at complete odds with each other in terms of musical taste. Most bands I liked they hated and vice versa.

Once I have a full fledged band started, I am going to use social media as a way to promote it as well as playing as much shows as possible. Just getting enough interested and dedicated people has been the tricky part. Nearly everyone in my area, as mentioned, mainly likes progressive metal, melodic death metal and metalcore/deathcore. Save for Max, the others who I've met that share my tastes are either already in bands or don't play any instruments.

[zelmo73]

Well, I'll admit that I haven't been keeping up with death metal lately ever since all of the emo bands from the '90s started ripping it off. You know what I mean, the girly-sounding lead singer backed up by the occasional death grunt from his backup singer. It just kind of killed it for me, which is unfair because I know that there are still death metal bands out there trudging away on the scene. I think it was around the time when Morbid Angel got a new singer in 1997 that I kind of lost interest. Plus the ex-girlfriend; girls always ruin it for guys somehow. Plus, when I moved to the Midwest for a while, punk was bigger out there than it was here in Alaska; there were no death metal bands, or any true metal bands that I can think of, at the Warped Tour 2004.

So I really don't know what melodic death metal is. I grew up on Obituary, Death, Napalm Death, Morbid Angel, Deicide, Cannibal Corpse, etc. For me, that was death metal. Morbid Angel inserted melody into some of their songs, but I wouldn't really classify their older stuff as melodic.

You've got a good game plan going. And now that I know what kind of music that you like, I think we can agree that The Great Kat sucks at grindcore. 

[lester1/2jr]

The money to be made in almost all levels of music is so marginal it's not worth selling out over imo The important thing is listening to your own music and being pleased. You can't put a price on that

[Trevor]

Sending you good wishes for a better 2014.