This made me laugh, I have to say.
A train traveller who had devoured a cocktail of legal highs and alcohol was arrested after trying to have sex with a drinks trolley.
Andrew Davidson was seen humping the trolley while shouting ‘I want to kiss you, I want to f*** you’.
Before he foisted himself upon it, he had placed his hands on a female passenger and attempted to kiss a member of staff.
According to fiscal dispute Jim Eodanable, he also fell on to his face and began rubbing his chest, sticking his tongue out and yelling about what he wanted to do to his boyfriend.
The 25-year-old’s behaviour was so distressing for the crew member that she ran off the train at the next stop.
His baffling tryst with the trolley, on a Friday afternoon in July, happened as a ScotRail service travelled from Aberdeen to Glasgow.
During an earlier hearing in November, the Scotsman admitted causing fear and alarm, as well as behaving in a threatening or abusing manner.
At Perth Sheriff Court today, Davidson, from Angus, was placed on community payback and ordered to carry out 100 hours of unpaid work.
However, he was taken off the sex offenders’ register because the sexual element of the case was not deemed to be significant.
Davidson’s solicitor, Grant Bruce, said: ‘He has no recollection of what happened on the train at all but accepts he behaved in this manner. He was completely intoxicated by alcohol and a legal high. He has now curtailed his social life to a great degree because of this incident.
‘It is something that has never happened before and is unlikely to ever happen again.’