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June 24, 2018, 02:33:43 AM
599232 Posts in 46221 Topics by 6142 Members
Latest Member: darkchocolatevoodoo Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  RICHARD THE LION HEART (2013) « previous next »
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Author Topic: RICHARD THE LION HEART (2013)  (Read 679 times)
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken

Karma: 1870
Posts: 11519

A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!

« on: February 06, 2014, 09:33:33 PM »

Holy cow, this movie was BAD!!!
I had just been teaching the rowdy history of the Plantagenets - the tempestuous reign of Henry II, the adroit, cool-handed manipulations of Eleanor of Aquitaine, and the four royal sons nicknamed "the Devil's Brood" - Henry the Young King, taken in his prime, Richard the Warrior, Geoffrey the Schemer, and John the Toad . . . when what should I see on the shelves at Hasting's but a new movie called RICHARD THE LION HEART!  I bypassed zombies, creature features, and a new haunted asylum flick to rent this promising work!

But alas, I was disappointed.  When a movie about Richard the Lionheart begins in 55 BC with Caesar's expedition into Gaul, something is wrong.

What follows is a confusing mess of a story line, about an enchanted sword - or is it about a hellish prison where the inmates have to endure the three torments - or is it about a spoiled prince learning to be a king - or is it a story of forbidden love between a prisoner and one of the captive girls who tends the jail?  Or maybe it's about the tense relationship between Henry II and his two oldest sons?  I CAN'T TELL!!!!! And the director couldn't either!

Badly acted, badly written, poorly filmed, badly lit, and confusing, I was grateful when this piece of dreck ended.

I rarely award a skull to a movie - I can forgive a lot, and I'm easily entertained - but this movie SUCKED!!!!

"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day!  "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
"Carpe Ngo Diem!" - Seize the South Vietnamese Dictator!
zombie #1
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema

Karma: 396
Posts: 2943


« Reply #1 on: February 08, 2014, 09:07:55 AM »

Seems you're not alone Indy I just checked the 8 reviews on imdb and not one but 2 of them suggested the director be put in jail for how bad it is, lol

"A whale's throat and blow hole are not connected, therefore escape is impossible.  "
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