F6: TWISTER, aka CHRISTMAS TWISTER (2012)3.5 out of 5
Now this is what I'm talking about in a "man this is BAAAD, but so bad it's good" disaster movie.
Big recommendation for bad, b-grade disaster movie fans.
Predictable cliches? Check
Hokey and predictable dialog? Check (we had many family cheers when one of us would utter a line a second before it was delivered)
Dialog lifted
straight from TWISTER? Check
Ridiculous set design? Check (really, that's some of the neatest tornado debris I've ever seen)
An F6 (!!) tornado that is LESS THAN TWENTY FEET WIDE? CHECK!
Bad FX? Check (overlay tornado fx onto a building with no damage happening? Sure. Clear, and hokey, miniatures? Got em. Random sparking electronics? You betcha).
Agonizingly bad Texas accent? Check
Man, we had a ball watching this one. What a mess. But what a fun mess.
Bill (I mean Ethan) is a weather expert who, relying on his superior knowledge of 'climate change' was exiled from the lucrative Chicago market for calling for evacuation on a storm that did not happen. So, he, and his ambitious TV reporter wife, are 'stuck' in rural Texas...well, right outside Fort Worth, anyway.
When the 'super system' begins to form, the one that spawns three or four tiny tornadoes, no one will believe Ethan. TV Weatherman Logan, for example, dismisses Ethan's claims because "it goes in cycles!" Ethan's radar can detect the "hook echo" that no one else's can see, because it is HIDDEN BEHIND PRECIPITATION. I guess whoever wrote that line forgot what a weather radar is actually measuring.
Side note: There is no precipitation in this entire movie. This is the dustiest tornado movie I've ever watched. So, I'm not sure exactly WHAT precipitation the hook echo was hiding behind.
Slowly, Ethan convinces (via numerous cell phone calls) his wife (who works with Logan and whom Logan is trying to get to move to New York with him to hit the big time...because, yes, TV weathermen and Desk Anchors do get tandem job offers like that all the time) that "Something is going on."
About that job offer: it came ONLY through Logan, and "they" (the station in New York) said it's a today only offer. Do big time TV news outlets in NY really do that? They offer sweet deals to talking heads via coworkers and issue ultimatums the same way? I'm showing my ignorance here. I've never been a TV news anchor, so I don't know how their job offers come through.
The tornadoes in this movie are some kind of smart. They follow roads, hit right at the door of the mall, destroy the Fort Worth power plant (though power does not go out in the rest of the city) and, of course, the TV station.
They are also teleporting tornadoes. One shot, on the roof of the mall. The next, at the door. The next, back on the roof. The next, back at the door. Etc. We finally decided the tornadoes had had too much to drink. Other evidence? Huge, multi-block swaths of destruction depicted for a twister that is maybe the width of a one-lane road.
*** Spoiler Below *** (like it matters)
Finally...this super storm that spawned all the dangerous tornadoes just ended. Just over. Hit the TV station, give us a little 'rescue drama' there, and poof. No more super storm. Happy family grilling burgers in the back yard.
And, what's up with "Who's ready to eat?" when all the burgers on the grill are STILL RAW and not even cooking?
We loved this movie....a TON of fun.
