Bottom 10 (2013-)2014 lists, alive or thread

[BakuryuuTyranno]

Bad movie(s) where I appreciated the ambition, but not the result: Frost

The "life's too short" "awards": Devil's Due, The Purge: Anarchy, Sharknado 2: the Second One, Annabelle

As Roger Corman said about almost not making Sharktopus (that's Sharktopus), there's only so much silliness you can ask people to accept.

I can barely remember the original Sharknado.

How many good horror movies had good prequels/sequels/spin-offs/remakes? Not many.
How many bad horror movies had good prequels/sequels/spin-offs/remakes? Not many.

Moving on, if I were asked to list what I consider the best sequels, I can only come up with Wendigo, In the Mouth of Madness (both from trilogies of unrelated movies based around a theme) Inferno and the "Living Dead" sequels (both from chronicles consisting of barely-related stories).

Anyways,

10: Stitch Face - It's one of those "love it or hate it" movies, yes, and I personally didn't care for it. But even before it got weird and abstract, the scene(s) with four people in an isolated cabin taking shelter from a storm that - a radio report tells us - has covered the world and killed tens of thousands did little to convince me what was happening, was happening.

9: Alone - Mostly disappointing. A girl is on a mysterious island... with nothing mysterious, just a killer,and I mean the kind who might only have had one previous victim.

8: The Apparition - I barely remember it. Watched it early January. I just remember being very unsatisfied.

7: The House of Good and Evil - This "haunted house movie", is not about a haunted house. I don't mean because its about the people living in or visiting one. I mean because there isn't a haunted house in it. If there was evidence of one, it was blink-and-you'll-miss-it.

6: Mama - Again, I remember little, except for thinking the Vicky Pollard(?) character from the series Little Britain could've been the script supervisor. I can imagine this:

Someone: So do they get to be a family?
Vicky: Yeah, but no,
Someone: Do they defeat the spirit?
Vicky: but yeah, but no,
Someone: What about the cabin?
Vicky: Because they don't even go back there because they would never do that, because that one guy went back to the cabin or something or nothing  and he died, and if you don't believe me you can ask him yourself!
Someone: Okay, I'm noticing the father doesn't have much-
Vicky: The father doesn't do nothing or nothing, he isn't even there! Shut up!

And so on.

Yeah, many ways to end the story, but choosing "all of the above" kinda negates the purpose of even having an ending.

5: Smiley - A massive fake-out complete with the politically-correct-come-alarmist take on internet trolls.

4: Entity - There's jump scares, people get pulled around by wires, and, er... little else happens. Basically your average uninteresting Paranormal Activity imitator.

3: Amphibious - Seriously, Yuzna? This movie is about some people we can root for to die being attacked by a monster. That after Yuzna previously made many movies with relatable characters and unimaginable horror.

2: Aftershock - Maybe its just all those crazy comedies out there, but seeing someone's hand get kicked around by a crowd isn't shocking. The villains were literally unpleasant for the sake of being unpleasant - not only are they rapist like all bad villain writing demands, but they try raping people while they're in a place where everyone is in danger anyway.

As time goes on, it seems like Eli Roth (who got started with cameos in Troma movies) is trying to make "Troma movies, but serious".

1: Dead of the Night - Look, two haunted house movies that don't have a haunted house! What does this one have? Eventually, a serial killer makes an appearance. Until then, people improvise by behaving like detestable reality TV show personas. It has a storyboard as an extra and - you probably saw this coming - nothing in the found footage sections is there.

[claws]

I didn't watch that many movies in 2014 that truly sucked. I mean, I got a kick out of 2-Headed Shark Attack (2012) but then again I also enjoyed Sharknado (still need to watch part 2).

Anyways, here are a few disappointments I've seen in 2014:

The Black Water Vampire (2014) ~ found footage about young adults researching urban legend connected to real killings. It had a snow setting and gratuitous nudity but the rest just didn't deliver.
Hot T-Shirts (1980) ~ Already mentioned in the other thread.
I, Frankenstein (2014) ~ The kind of movie where your eyes start drifting away from the screen because its so darn b-o-r-i-n-g, dull and unoriginal.

[ChaosTheory]

6: Mama - Again, I remember little, except for thinking the Vicky Pollard(?) character from the series Little Britain could've been the script supervisor. I can imagine this:

Someone: So do they get to be a family?
Vicky: Yeah, but no,
Someone: Do they defeat the spirit?
Vicky: but yeah, but no,
Someone: What about the cabin?
Vicky: Because they don't even go back there because they would never do that, because that one guy went back to the cabin or something or nothing  and he died, and if you don't believe me you can ask him yourself!
Someone: Okay, I'm noticing the father doesn't have much-
Vicky: The father doesn't do nothing or nothing, he isn't even there! Shut up!

 

[bob]

Here is my worst of the worst list for my first time viewing this year.

10 The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift 2.5/5

9 Parental Guidance 1.5/5

8 Curse of the Puppet Master 1/5

7 Puppet Master: The Legacy 0/5

6 2001: A Space Travesty 0/5

5 The Pest 0/5

4 Time of the Apes 0/5

3 Scooby Doo: WrestleMania Mystery 0/5

2 Spaced Invaders 0/5

1 Foodfight! - This is officially the worst animated movie I've ever seen. The only movie I've ever seen worse then this was Bucky Larson and that's saying something.

0/5 


My overall worst movies I've seen this year.

10 Curse of the Puppet Master 1/5

9 Puppet Master: The Legacy 0/5

8 2001: A Space Travesty 0/5

7 The Pest 0/5

6 Time of the Apes 0/5

5 Scooby Doo: WrestleMania Mystery 0/5

4 Spaced Invaders 0/5

3 The Final Sacrifice 0/5

2 Saw 7 0/5

1 Foodfight! 0/5

[indianasmith]

Bob - you need to check out the Nostalgia Critic's review of FOOD FIGHT.  It's as great as the movie is awful.

[JaseSF]

Bottom 10 new viewings I watched last year (The Lucifer Complex (1978) was the worst of the re-watches)

10. Awesome Lotus (1983)
9. The Wedding Date (2005)
8. Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus (2010)
7. The Brain Machine (1977)
6. Legacy of Blood (1971)
5. The Stranger (1999)
4. Little Fockers (2010)
3. L.A.P.D.: To Serve and Protect (2001)
2. Android Insurrection (2012)
1. Bigfoot (2012)