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March 20, 2019, 07:00:41 AM
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Author Topic: Make A Random Statement About Something Nobody Should Care About  (Read 122044 times)
Dark Alex
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« Reply #945 on: January 16, 2018, 01:55:43 PM »

Katy and Cliffy were debating on wither or not god would be male or female.

Never heard anyone debating what the devil's sex is.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
ER
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The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters.


« Reply #946 on: January 16, 2018, 03:02:14 PM »

Katy and Cliffy were debating on wither or not god would be male or female.

Never heard anyone debating what the devil's sex is.


Guess this settles that? Buddy of mine used to love this CD.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Devil%27s_Bris
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Das was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich noch merkwürdiger. (What does not kill me makes me stranger.)
LilCerberus
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« Reply #947 on: January 19, 2018, 11:08:21 PM »

The Turpins...
What sort of grown man gets a haircut like that?
And who has kids in their twenties & doesn't make them get jobs or join the army or something?
And what sort of grown man gets a haircut like that?
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Normal is what people are until you get to know them.
 http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL237DD523F8E60B95 http://www.imdb.com/name/nm5549321/ https://youtu.be/gigNjm-u-ZA
Rev. Powell
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« Reply #948 on: January 20, 2018, 11:08:54 AM »

Katy and Cliffy were debating on wither or not god would be male or female.

Never heard anyone debating what the devil's sex is.


That's because everyone knows

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claws
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« Reply #949 on: January 20, 2018, 01:36:47 PM »

#facebookissues

Dear Facebook, you don't have to tell me that I only have friends & family in my news feed. Guess what? Tthat is the way I want it. And no, there's no need for improving my feed. Please stop sticking your nose in my business, thank you.
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indianasmith
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« Reply #950 on: January 20, 2018, 04:06:32 PM »

I haven't played SKYRIM in a very long time.  I forgot how darned immersive it is.

Where did those three hours go, anyway?
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ER
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The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters.


« Reply #951 on: January 20, 2018, 04:14:57 PM »

I haven't played SKYRIM in a very long time.  I forgot how darned immersive it is.

Where did those three hours go, anyway?
Ceaseless Discharge shall remember your treason against Dark Souls.
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Das was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich noch merkwürdiger. (What does not kill me makes me stranger.)
Dark Alex
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« Reply #952 on: January 20, 2018, 05:30:29 PM »

R.A.F. speak.

Sometimes when I am making posts I may occasionally slip into work speak. So just in case I do and you are wondering what I mean here is a quick guide.

AFCO - A recuiting office. Seen as a soft posting.

Back Seat Ballast - A navigator (who normally sits in the rear of a two seater jet).

Bomb Head - An armourer. Responsible for things that go boom on aircraft and ejector seat. You do not however put your best and your brightest where they can be blown up. Armourers are a breed unto themselves and have all sorts of rituals and their own song. It goes "A, I'm an armourer, B, I'm an armourer, C, I'm an armourer, D, I'm an armourer" and so on. Well known for drinking pee and not nessicarily their own. For some reason the most attractive women in the airforce tend to be A) Armourers and B) In need of mental health therapy.

Boss, The - Anyone in your immediate chain of command who outranks you, but doesn't work in the same office as you. When I say "The boss" I might be referring to my flight sergeant, warrant officer or flight lieutenant depending on the situation.

Crabs - Army nickname for the airforce.

Dog f**ker - An Aircraft Electrician and my original trade before it was merged with the Fairys, although I have refused to get the grasping at straws badge on my uniform and am quite proud to say I was the last pure Electrician left the airforce before finally completing my cross training four years ago. The reasons behind us being called Dog f**kers has two possible stories. The first is that its down to the motion a human body makes while being electricuted. The second is that a Chief Technician back in the 70's was caught doing something to an Alsation dog. I don't know. If a man eats steak once in his life you'd hardly call him a stake eater, but f**k one dog...

Dune Coon - Nickname for a person from the middle east. Varients include but are not limited to Camel Jocky, Ninjas (female Dune Coons in religous dress), Jinglies and Rag Heads. The use of these terms is strongly discouraged by our Diversity and Equality (D&E) progam, although such terms occasionally slip from the mouths of old school Wobbly Oranges and Rock Apes who just don't care.

DWR - A posting overseas, normally between 4 to 6 months without your squadron.

Fairy - An Avionics Engineer. Responsible for all the electric systems and wiring on an aircraft. Identifyable due to the badge they wear of a fist grasping some lightning bolts, which is referred to by the other trades as the grasping at straws badge. I didn't join as this trade, but was cross trained into it.

Fizzed - To be charged for commiting an offense against the airforce laws. For non commissioned officers this tend to be a career ending thing, for those with commissions it is normally put down to hijinks and brushed under the carpet except in extreme situations.

Fruit Segment - A flight sergeant.

Gas Chamber - The respirator testing facility. Ran by the Rock Apes who take great offence at this name.

'Guins - Short for Penguins. Rock Ape slang for Aircraft Technicians because they are birds that don't fly.

Hammer Jockies - See Mechs.

Harry Shed - The base CO, or commanding officer. Changes every 2 1/2 years.

Jam Tarts - RAF Police. The mortal enemies of Rock Apes.

Jefferies - Ground Engineering Flight. Responsible for any bits of kit that don't fly. Despite dealing with the same concepts as aircraft engineers and being held to the same standards they are normally held as being inferior by everyone including themselves, and hold aircraft engineers (Fairys, Mechs and Bomb Heads) in a degree of awe for reasons I have never quite understood. Unless its me, because frankly, I am awesome. And modest.

Jelly Tot - Junior Technician. A now obsolete rank in the airforce. If you see one of these wandering around today you should go up to him or her and ask "Bloody hell, who did you p**s off not to get promoted?".

Jengo - A J(unior) Eng(ineering) O(fficer). The lowest level of commissioned officer in a squadron. About 60% of these are viewed as Nudgers, Thrusters and Pokers. Strangely it is most often the other 40% that get promoted.

Knuckle Draggers - People who are paid to take a bullet for more highly paid people. See Rock Apes.

Legend - Someone who has had sex with a lot of women, often regardless of their physical attractiveness. Only males get to be legends. Women in this situation get other less flattering nicknames.

Lumpy Jumper - A female member of the airforce. Also see Split Arse.

Mechs - The combined trade of Mechanical and Engines (who used to be called Sooties). Only ever happy when they have a hammer in their hand and well know to p**s off Dog f**kers by using wiring looms as load bearing structures. Often confused by screw drivers as they are not as good for hitting things as hammers or spanners.

NCO - Non commisioned officer. The filter between reality and the pink and fluffy world that junior Zobs live in. This refers to a wide range of ranks who really keep any military force running. Under no circumstances should an NCO ever tell a Zob the total truth of what they have to do on a daily basis to keep everything working and running. I made the mistake of doing this once only to find the engineering officer who had asked me what problems our bay faced was banging his head repeatidly off the nearest wall. When I told him the bay SNCO was dealing with it all and he didn't have to worry about it, he was much relieved, left the bay and never asked me any questions ever again.

Nudger - Someone aggressively seeking promotion by any method possible including claiming credit for someone else's work, engaging in back stabbing and so on. Also see Poker and Thuster

Old School - Likes his discipline. Victorian style.

Padre - A god botherer. They serve not only a religious role but also tend to be highly qualified in headology. Often they wander around sections looking to talk to people and improve morale which is met by everyone trying to look very busy and ironically praying to their deity of choice that the Padre will not choose them to talk to.

Poker - Someone who looks for problems in order to present a solution that causes more problems than the original condition. Also see Nudger and Thuster.

Pongos - The army. A reference to their low level of hygine because where ever the army goes, thats where the pong goes.

PTI - Physical Training Instructor. Supposed to ensure everyone in the RAF keeps fit. However if you want to keep fit, ask a Rock Ape. If you want a good tan ask a PTI for advice. Best known for posing in mirrors and admiring themselves.

Pulling The Ejection Cord - Submitting your PVR (Premature Voluntary Release). Normally done at the point where you have had enough and want out of the airforce. Takes a year to be processed.

Sengo - S(enior) Eng(ineering O(fficer). A Jengo who has lasted long enough to get promoted. Often more practical and less jingoistic than a Jengo, but still can be a Tosser or a***ole.

Shed Heads - Senior officers on station.

Shiny - A member of PSF (Personal Services Flight). Our admin staff who exist purely to mess up the pay of techies. So called because constantly sitting on their arses makes the seat of their trousers shine.

s**t Shift - The people working the opposite shift from you. They never quite do the work required and certainly never to the same standard as your shift.

Social Handgrenade - The kind of person who has a drink and causes trouble. Comes from the action of pulling the ring tab on a can of beer.

Sooty - An abolished trade that used to specialise in engines.

Spanner Jockies - See Mechs.

Split Arse - Alternate description for a female member of the airforce.

Squipper - Trade responsible for survival equipment. The only trade in the airforce taught how to sew.

Stacker - Short for Blanket Stacker, the supply trade whose job it is to tell you that "We only have one in stock and we are saving it in case someone more important than you need one" when you have to get a vital piece of equipment to get a plane up and flying. The nickname comes from when you extend your pinkey finger and index finger, and then use them to count the number of blankets in a pile. If the number is higher than 3, the stacker will often get lost and confused.

SWO Man - The Station Warrant Officer. Generally a figure to be feared, responsible for discipline on camp.

Thruster - Someone overly keen on getting everyone else to follow the rules and being seen as a paragon of them. Often ends up suffering from disillusionment and a severe dose of reality that causes them to quit before they can do too much damage as the only way we can get anything done on a daily basis is to circumvent the rules.

Tower Twats - Air Traffic Control.

Rock Ape - Member of the RAF Regiment. Also see Knuckle Draggers. The airforce equivilent of Marines, used to defend our airstrips. For some reason all female members of the RAF seem to marry either a Rock Ape, a PTI or a fireman. Without Rock Apes 90% of the work of the Jam Tarts would disappear, thus making them a parasitic lifeform.

Seat Stick Interface - A pilot. Also the part of an aircraft that most often goes faulty and is the hardest part to fix or replace. Often believes itself to be gods gift to the world.

Sick Note - Someone who gets out of duties and deployments by having a convient illness, but who is mysteriously better when a promotion is at stake, only to fall sick again after getting it.

Wobbly Orange - A Warrant Officer. The rank of people that you least want to upset. Highest possible rank for a non-commisioned officer in the RAF.

Zob - An officer. Younger ones tend to look about 12 and be a combination of Nudgers, Thrusters and Pokers refered to as Tools. Ones who achieve higher rank tend to have had the idealistic edges rubbed off them and have to work 12 to 16 hour days. Also see Jengo, Sengo, Back Seat Ballast and Seat Stick Interface.
« Last Edit: January 20, 2018, 06:05:46 PM by Dark Alex » Logged

But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
316zombie
zombie chef to the stars
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« Reply #953 on: January 22, 2018, 05:07:02 PM »

it's national be kind to food servers month. but not cooks or bartenders.
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don't EVEN...EVER!
Dark Alex
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« Reply #954 on: January 23, 2018, 07:41:09 AM »

So my bad day actually started last night when Dagon sat beside my chair just as I was about to go to bed and started pee'ing on the carpet. Grabbed him and threw him on his tray. He normally gets to run about the house at night while we sleep, but as a punishment he got locked in the man cave bath room (where his tray and food are anyway). Got up in the morning. We'd been worried the night before that Dagon was constipated. Apparantly that issue had cleared up overnight. He'd filled up his litter tray, and then managed to open the door to my shower and used that when he'd ran out of room on his tray (which I'll give him a pass on as the shower is easier to clean than the carpet), however let's just say I did not get my usual morning shower.

I have two hospital appointments marked down for today. One at 10:00am and one at 15:15pm. Went into work for a bit, got changed into civvy clothes and then went out to Dr Gray Hospital. As it turned out I didn't have an appointment at 10:00am at Dr Grays. I didn't have an appointment at the Glassgreen Medical Centre. I thought "Oh crap, it must be with the medics on base!", so I jumped in a taxi and got back to camp as quickly as possible. Yup, no appointment there either. I still currently have no idea where my appointment at 10:00 was, or who it was with or anything else about it. I've had it on my appointments board since early december though.

After that both the computer systems I use at work decided to crash while I was in the middle of doing stuff.

Thus far, today has not been a great day. And I still have my 15:15 appointment to go.

The one thing that has been slightly cheering is one of my bosses demanded to know why I'd been in the toilet for 20 minutes. The expression on her face when I handed her a paper bag and she looked inside to see the bottle with my pee sample in it was priceless!
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
ER
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 931
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The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters.


« Reply #955 on: January 23, 2018, 09:12:51 AM »

I'm having a nice calm-before-the-storm morning, because this afternoon once my youngest leaves for kindergarten, I have to go talk to some people regarding what can be done about my maternal first-cousin, who is clearly mentally ill and apparently wants to kill me. She actually went to my mother Sunday and in this frothy, hyper state assured her she's going to protect her from me any way she has to. A couple weeks ago she came by on my birthday and crazily ranted at me in front of my family until I had to call the police. A TPO mainly only works to keep honest people away, I'm told. It's also surprisingly tricky to have someone involuntarily committed.

All I want to do is make her better, and all she talks about is how terrible I am and how she needs to keep me from hurting her and those she loves. She yelled on my birthday, "WHY WON'T YOU KILL YOURSELF? IT'S THE ONLY RIGHT THING TO DO!!!"

I was there for her heroin abuse that peaked in 2014 and we mostly got her through that, and now her mental state is bottoming out. Honestly, it's scary.

I have a lot of good things in my life, I truly do, I'm lucky, but for several reasons something I've lacked for a long time is a sense of security, of counting on tomorrow to probably be there, and if you have that feeling, be glad for it.
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Das was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich noch merkwürdiger. (What does not kill me makes me stranger.)
Dark Alex
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« Reply #956 on: January 23, 2018, 12:57:33 PM »

Sadly some people never truly recover from additions, especially with the messed up stuff their fix can be cut with. For you and your families sake I hope she gets the help she needs.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
ER
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 931
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The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters.


« Reply #957 on: January 23, 2018, 03:38:13 PM »

Sadly some people never truly recover from additions, especially with the messed up stuff their fix can be cut with. For you and your families sake I hope she gets the help she needs.

Thanks, Alex, we're sure trying. Underneath all this I'd still like to think the person I love is there.
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Das was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich noch merkwürdiger. (What does not kill me makes me stranger.)
LilCerberus
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« Reply #958 on: January 24, 2018, 12:20:38 AM »

In light of today's school shooting in Kentucky, I gotta say, I'm getting a little annoyed with how public educators claim to "Miss certain early warning signs", Yet are stubbornly oblivious  to their role in causing this violence.
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"Science Fiction & Nostalgia have become the same thing!" - T Bone Burnett
Normal is what people are until you get to know them.
 http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL237DD523F8E60B95 http://www.imdb.com/name/nm5549321/ https://youtu.be/gigNjm-u-ZA
Dark Alex
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« Reply #959 on: January 24, 2018, 12:43:09 PM »

It's sad that those things have became so commonplace that they no longer make international headlines and seem to be more tucked away in the "in other news" sections.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
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