Fascination (1979)

Way back in, I dunno, the 1890s I guess, a doctor brings a few female patients of his to a slaughterhouse. They suffer from hemophilia and the good doctor believes chugging a few glasses of cow blood every so often would do them some good. I'm not sure how effective the blood drinking is at treating their condition, but it sure does seem to make them horny.

Later, a group of thieves has just completed a successful heist. Most of them want to blow the money immediately. The group's newest member (I think his name is Tomas, or something), apparently just a wee bit more sophisticated than the others, has a better idea: invest the loot in the stock market. The others think so highly of this idea they decide to kill him. Thinking fast, Tom holds the boss man's #1 b***h hostage and makes an escape. They don't get far before she manages to introduce his balls to her foot. Tom still manages to escape after he finds a small castle - complete with moat! - out in the middle of nowhere and lays low inside.

The place isn't vacant. Two women live there, a blonde one a brunette one. As soon as Tom meets them, they beg, "Please don't kill us! Only rape us!" (<-- Actual dialogue.) Tom's not that kind of guy, though. He does indeed screw them, but only after he's charmed his way into their good graces. No force required. Ah, that Tom, ha ha.

Tom's old gang eventually finds out where he is and sets up camp outside. One of the women , the blonde one, goes out to tell them to beat it. Instead, the boss's girlfriend beats up Blondie and steals her dress. Can't have that, so Blondie goes to the barn, grabs a scythe, and hacks the gang to death with it. Maybe "hacks" is too strong a word. There was no budget for any sort of gore makeup, so what really happens is that blondie waves her scythe in the general vicinty of one of the gang members, who will then have red paint smeared on him in between shots.

Some time after that, more women arrive at the castle. Turns out these women are all patients of that doctor from the beginning, and they've all decided cow blood isn't enough. No, they need HUMAN BLOOD, preferably from a virile, young man. Hey, Tom's one of those, and he's convieniently at the castle. Problem is Brunette and Blondie have both kind of fallen in love with Tom by now, particularly Brunette.

She finally decides that penis is better than cannibalism and helps Tom escape. Blondie catches them but Brunette shoots her. This attracts the rest of the women. Seeing that Tom has gotten away, they decide to eat Blondie, who isn't quite dead yet. I mentioned already there was no budget for gore effects, and the production used the tried and true method of smearing paint on actors to give the impression of injury. Well, that's the technique they use for the cannibalism scene. Problem is, most of the women were pretending to eat Blondies thighs (very meaty, you know) so, when they pull up their heads with blood smeared around their mouths, looking all satisfied, it seems less like they just cannibalized her and more like they all just earned their red wings.

The End

This movie's main problem is pacing. It sometimes seems like each individual shot goes on for nearly twice as long as it needs to. Couple that with the nearly comatose performances of the actors and you've got the cure for insomnia. Even Blondie's rampage with the scythe is quite soporific. Unless you're seriously hard up for some Euro-Smut, you can skip this one.