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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  Defend a terrible movie! « previous next »
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Author Topic: Defend a terrible movie!  (Read 2954 times)
dean
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« on: August 25, 2016, 04:44:08 AM »


I don't mean bad fun bad, but wrecked terrible nonsense of a film that nobody likes. Think the worst of Michael Bay. Think movies that are meant to be good, they have great cast, maybe even a great budget, but that just doesn't stop them from generally being labelled a disappointing flop. Now that you've thought of the worst dreck imaginable, defend it! Pitch your case.

The rules of the game:

Make your case, find the good in these awful piles of rubbish. Feel free to retort to the one/ones above you in your defence. Just know that in Bad Movie Defense, we're all losers from having to watch these things and thus no winners shall be assigned.

Something low key to start with:

Gigli has it all. All star cast of award winners inc Pacino and Walken.

The plot is amazingly nuanced: Gigli (Ben Affleck) is a low-ranking Los Angeles mobster and slight misogynist who isn't nearly as tough as he likes to act.

He is commanded to kidnap the mentally challenged younger brother Brian of a powerful federal prosecutor to save New York-based mob boss Starkman from prison whilst paired up with a hard nosed lesbian fixer Ricki (J-Lo).

All of the characters are transformed by the end. Louis's mob is disrupted, Gigli has dropped his hyper-masculine facade to show he has a heart of gold, Ricki has a heterosexual fling with Gigli (that's right Affleck is so good here he turns a lesbian), and Brian gradually emerges from his shell, noticing other people and being... less mentally challenged? So many twists, so much witty banter it'll make your head spin. Plus the chemistry between the two leads is so real you can totally tell they weren't far from breaking up. It's basically holding a mirror to our obession with celebrities and their love lives.

It's no surprise that Martin Brest the director never made a film again; how can you top perfection??
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clockworkcanary
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« Reply #1 on: August 25, 2016, 07:46:45 AM »

Blood Freak (1972) is a masterpiece of realism; it's a great social commentary on the evils of scientific food experimentation, the perils of drug abuse, and human existentialism! This story is told in near real time and without all those pretentious Hollywood tricks such as lighting, editing, pacing, or acting. Instead, this film approaches Stanley Kubrick-levels of cinematography.

Due to the complex, interweaving, plot-thickening twists, we are treated to superb narration inter-cuts by a knowledgeable subject matter expert with great wood paneling backdrops. This narrator helps explain the complex story we are enduring in a most coherent manner. Righton man...righton.

The plot: Good Samaritan, Hershell, helps a Christian motorist, Angel, along the Florida turnpike, which starts a chain reaction that leads him to a near-geriatric druggie party. Here he beds Angel's sister, Anne, who helps land him a job at the local turkey farm. At said turkey farm, he meets a couple of obviously over-qualified scientists who offer him some weed and genetically altered turkey.

Said genetically modified turkey turns our hero, Hershell, into a ravenous drug-addicted were-turkey who hunts and kills other drug addicts to get his fix. The multiple levels of subtext in these scenes will keep film buffs and critics debating for years to come!

He confronts and beds Anne again (in full on were-turkey mode with excellent sound clips of "gobble-gobble") for the most sensual love-making scene ever printed to film since Samurai Cop. Then he goes out again to rid the world of those gosh-darned drug-addicted hippies!

In the climactic finale, Hershell beats his lycanthropy in the most epic of fashions: he drops to his knees and prays to Jesus to forgive him and he is saved! Then there is the mother of all plot twists: it was all a hallucination from Hershell eating genetically modified turkey!  With the irony meter turned up to 11, the film closes with a Thanksgiving dinner with everyone ripping into their turkey dinner!

This is an often overlooked holiday classic that should be playing on all stations during the Thanksgiving weekend. The lessons of this movie are rock solid: stay away from drugs, don't eat genetically modified food, and for god's sake, praise Jesus if you find yourself with a case of lycanthropy.

Can't wait for the sequel!

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Bela
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« Reply #2 on: August 28, 2016, 05:53:25 AM »

PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE (1959) could be called a prequel to NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968)-in as a force from space has risen the dead. Plan 9 was a test run for Plan 10--NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD-which is why Romero's production company was named Image Ten! (I made that up  Wink)
Lugosi was a classiclly trained stage actor-as was Duane Jones.
plus it has Tor and Vampira. Thumbup
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lester1/2jr
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« Reply #3 on: August 28, 2016, 10:50:40 AM »

Swept Away - vastly superior to the original, this Madonna remake was so great that the international acclaim caused her to divorce her husband director Guy Ritchie. Everywhere they went people hounded them "when are you going to make a sequel?". They got earaches from all the questions and had to have the divorce to save their hearing.

Madonna's masculine features like her huge muscles add to the realism that she would be helpless and need a cabin boy guy whatever he was to help her. The big song, a remake of "come on a my house", is way better than say Live to Tell or la Isla Bonita. Considering how not annoying the original was, a Madonna remake is of course going to be even less stupid. Her screen presence is amazing I never scanned the shot looking for the real lead actress to come in. The only criticism I have is that I got lost in the movie and actually feared for her life which was unpleasant.
« Last Edit: August 28, 2016, 10:54:00 AM by lester1/2jr » Logged
clockworkcanary
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« Reply #4 on: August 28, 2016, 03:56:57 PM »

The Room -the drama of all dramas. The meta-drama of the new millennium will keep you on the edge of your seats. This dramatic adventure rivals the work of David Lean as it deals with a myriad of intense social issues such as adultery, drug addiction, domestic abuse, alcoholism, breast cancer, mental retardation, coffee ordering etiquette, high tuition costs, anger management, and suicide.

This tragic tale takes the viewer on an emotional journey along an air-tight plot where every piece fits like a glove.
Our charismatic hero, Johnny, lives the ultimate life -he can afford an apartment in San Francisco; he has a young fiance; he has a great voyeuristic neighbor kid who's always around; and he also has a great and in-depth relationship with his hetero life mate, Mark.

The film takes a lot of time artistically showing us not only the depth of Johnny and Lisa's loving relationship, but it also establishes Johnny and Mark's life-long bromance. This finely-weaved setup is completely turned on its head when the epic confrontation ensues after Mark and Lisa's dastardly betrayal is revealed.

The epic fight during the climax between Johnny and Mark is comparable to Bruce Lee vs. Chuck Norris, ultimately leading to its tear-jerking, thought-provoking, yet tragic ending that comes out of nowhere.

This movie will leave you thinking for days after its viewing.
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Bela
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« Reply #5 on: August 28, 2016, 08:27:53 PM »

The Room -the drama of all dramas. The meta-drama of the new millennium will keep you on the edge of your seats. This dramatic adventure rivals the work of David Lean as it deals with a myriad of intense social issues such as adultery, drug addiction, domestic abuse, alcoholism, breast cancer, mental retardation, coffee ordering etiquette, high tuition costs, anger management, and suicide.

This tragic tale takes the viewer on an emotional journey along an air-tight plot where every piece fits like a glove.
Our charismatic hero, Johnny, lives the ultimate life -he can afford an apartment in San Francisco; he has a young fiance; he has a great voyeuristic neighbor kid who's always around; and he also has a great and in-depth relationship with his hetero life mate, Mark.

The film takes a lot of time artistically showing us not only the depth of Johnny and Lisa's loving relationship, but it also establishes Johnny and Mark's life-long bromance. This finely-weaved setup is completely turned on its head when the epic confrontation ensues after Mark and Lisa's dastardly betrayal is revealed.

The epic fight during the climax between Johnny and Mark is comparable to Bruce Lee vs. Chuck Norris, ultimately leading to its tear-jerking, thought-provoking, yet tragic ending that comes out of nowhere.

This movie will leave you thinking for days after its viewing.
After I read that my dick almost fell off because thats like saying the moon is made of cheese.
FAR OUT!!!  Drink
I know what I know-its crazy! Golly gee!  Drink Drink TeddyR
« Last Edit: August 28, 2016, 08:32:08 PM by RCMerchant » Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
Trevor
Uncle Zombie and Eminent Shitologist
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« Reply #6 on: August 29, 2016, 04:57:08 AM »

After I read that my dick almost fell off because thats like saying the moon is made of cheese.

 Buggedout BuggedoutBounceGiggle BounceGiggle
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I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
voltron
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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« Reply #7 on: September 23, 2016, 09:50:37 AM »

Cool As Ice. They tried to make it out like Vanilla Ice was this badass rebel. They were trying to make a serious movie but they failed miserably. But I really dug it.  Smile

Rock N' Roll Nightmare   - I really can't "defend"this one because it's f**king BRILLIANT. Bad acting, horrendous FX, and it starts none other than Thor! The scene where he fights with the devil is awesome and I like the evil starfish that gets thrown at him is great. What's not to like? Don't forget: "WE LIVE TO ROCK"!!!!!!!
« Last Edit: September 24, 2016, 05:22:01 PM by voltron » Logged

"Nothin' out there but God's little creatures - more scared of you than you are of them"  - Warren, "Just Before Dawn"
Balibari
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« Reply #8 on: November 09, 2016, 01:19:09 PM »

I've just seen Traxx and it's hilarious. The main guy (Shadoe Stevens) is brilliant, I can't imagine why he never became a big star. He's got all the charisma and great comedy timing. Maybe you guys know it and I'm way off in thinking it's derided. But the IMDB score is s**t and the friend I watched it with couldn't stand it. It reminded me of Dead Heat a bit, and there's a lot of that old TV show Sledge Hammer.
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