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Author Topic: The "New" Online Confessional  (Read 14148 times)
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« Reply #30 on: January 11, 2018, 09:03:44 AM »

Okay; so while I havent done anything genuinely horrible to someone (That I can immediately think of...) I am a walking tornado of Awkward by and large... my problem is that I have tremendous difficulty saying no to people...and while I can usually awkwardly deal with situations like that for the most part fine, there are several accounts where this can (And has) gone horribly wrong (Which I'll no doubt post about at some point soon) heres the most recent awful/awkward thing that has ever happened to me...

This ones often referred to in my friend circle as "The tale of the Babooshka"

So this happened in November last year; in the early hours of the morning I was on my way to work when I noticed one of my tyres on my car was pretty much flat, so I asked the boss if I could take an early lunch so I could go and get my tyres reinflated. Luckily one of my co-workers had an air compressor handy but it was the size of a suitcase and weighed a ton. I dont park directly outside my office so I had a bit of a trek to get to my car...but after a 10 minute walk I got there, sorted my tyres and decided to walk back into town with it to get my lunch dragging a massive air compressor with me.

I go across to an allyway that I usually cut through to get to the main drag of town where all the food shops are situated and theres a old eastern european woman on the junction selling a magazine for charity; Now these magazines are marked up to £5 (About $7) because its for charity, they're about 20 pages long and largely just about the charity in question... and theres normally always a person there and it was usually always the same person  because he was very recognisable... but today it was someone I didnt recognize.

..So I try my best *Not looking directly at her* to walk by and get past without giving her the impression that I want one... but its quite a narrow allyway...Im just about to get home free when out of nowhere she full on embraces me (She's only little, but she practically jumped her own height to get her arms around my neck) and she starts shouting loudly and dramatically "MY FRIEND! MY FRIEND! I need your help!" I said "Why; whats wrong?" she goes "I sell this." and she tries to shove a Magazine in my hands. I say  "Ohh no no thank you im sorr-" she goes "I dont want money!...no cash!. I wonder if you buy me piece of cloth" and she gestures towards the UK equivelent of a Dollar store just behind her. I think "Y'know what...if im just going to chuck her a couple of pounds for a top or a dress or soemthing thats my bit of charity done for the day...and its practical...it gives her something to wear...winters coming ect ect..." So I say ..."Oh alright then, happy to help"...

...She then holds my hands together and practically drags me (Bearing in mind im still holding a suitcase full of air compressing stuff in one of my hands which she only freed because she couldnt drag me with it) into this shop and she just keeps saying "Thank you, thank you, thank you" over and over again. she then goes up to the counter and says "My clothes" and the woman behind the till picks up what I can only describe as an industrial sized re-usable garbage bag full of clothes and starts scanning them through. the old womans just totally silent at this point and I think "Crap. what have I got myself into!?"

...so at this point in my mind im thinking "Can I actually tell a homeless woman who doesnt speak particularly good english that Im not buying her a ton of clothes? or will I be going to hell for this?"  I turn to her and say "Are these all yours?" and she goes "Yes...yes...thank you thank you thank you." and the woman at the till finishes scanning and goes "that'll be £28 please"...I look at the charity shop owner as if to say "Help me" and I turn to the woman and say "So what bit would you like me to get you?" she goes "All!...all!!! you help!" so I think on my feet open my wallet and say "Oh I only have a £10 note with me im sorry!"...the woman behind the counter goes "You've got a card there..we take cards..."... "Crap" I think...

...So I think okay how do I get out of this now!?...so I go "Im not sure how much money I've got on my card though" she goes without even blinking "Oh well; try it and see" I go "Im not sure" she goes "Go on"...Now at this point everyone who I've told this story to has said this would be the point they'd just walk out... but with the air compressor both weighing me down and filling the shop coupled with the total guilt of giving a homeless woman hope and then running away It was almost impossible to make an exit from the shop without a load of hassle both morally and physically...its one of the downsides to my crippling britishness....she punches in the price...and I think "Ah ha! if I put my pin in wrong she might not try to follow it up" so I put it in wrong and she goes "You put it in wrong...try again" ...Crap...

So in the end I accepted my fate... put the right pin in and the elderly woman takes the bag and shoves past me to get out of the shop all the while murmuring something under her breath...I get out and she goes "Theres a Jacket over there £5 you help?" I thought "You cheeky mother fu-" I said politely but firmly "No!...no no no sorry...so sorry...but no..." she then goes "You didnt pay for the magazine!" I thought "You son of a-" and I said "Oh I thought I bought you those for this?" pointing at her new clothes...she just grumbles a bit and then says "Thanks." as blunt as she possibly could and then she hobbles off up the road...

But! thats not where it ends.

I get back to the office and they want to know why I was so late in getting back in. so I tell them what i've just told you dear reader and everyones just sort of like "😮!" shocked and offering a bit of sympathy...but my boss...no no no!...he goes absolutely ballistic. not at me. at the old woman and the lady in the dollar store. he was convinced that they were in cahoots! So with my rapidly deteriorating lunch in one hand and my co workers air compressor in the other my boss just tells me to drop everything put a coat on and get out with him...

He barrells down the high street with a march like a soldier...im sort of girly running behind him desperately trying to keep up (He's about 6 foot 7, pretty well built and in his mid 50's Im about 6 foot, a bit on the chunky side and havent exercised since 2007) he goes right up to the magazine woman and just as Im about to say "Yer alright?-" My boss cuts me off by saying as loud and aggressively as he possibly can "YOU!...DONT BOTHER!... ... HIM! ... .. NO MORE!...I CALL THE POLICE!..." and this woman looks like shes been hit by mike tyson I mean she's reeling...but my boss doesnt even break stride; he marches right into the shop where it all went down and as loud as he can he bellows "WHERE WAS THE WOMAN YOU WERE DEALING WITH!?" at this point im wishing the ground would swallow me up...

I point the woman out and he says "RIGHT! You get back to the office. I'll handle this!" so I head out thoughroughly embarrassed... but as I leave the Magazine woman runs up to me and tries to shove 15 pounds into my hands she just keeps shouting "YOU TAKE MONEY!...YOU TAKE!...TAKE MONEY1!!" I just walk with my head pointing at the ground wishing for deaths sweet release all the while repeatedly saying "Dont worry about it. dont worry about it..." but as Im walking she's following me crying and pleading with me to take the cash off her...its at this point I notice a crowd is building following us as Im making my way back to work...I end up on the side of a road thats got constantly flowing traffic. Im stuck with this woman and a crowd of at least 7-10 people and Im begging for a gap in the traffic to open up...I dont know if the lord heard me but just as I thought it was going to get too much a gap opened up and I was able to duck over the road...the traffic then filled back up and her and the crowd and the woman were left stranded on the other side.

I get back to the office and 20 minutes later the boss walks back in looking a bit smug and says "Have you got the receipt mate?" I said "Yeh in my coat pocket" he says "Give it here" so I pass it to him and he says "there was definately something going on in that shop then...the cashier was trying to wash her hands of the situation "its not my problem" she says" he then goes "Though you wernt the only one! there was a man in that shop who had been fleeced the other week by that same old woman because she made his mother in law take out £150 at a cashpoint for her..." my boss tells this random bloke that this old magazine womans outside right now and the two of them go running into the street serching allys and other shops looking for the random homeless woman selling magazines...but shes gone...he says "Dont bother with those kind of people mate. they're scammers." I'll take your receipt in after work and see if I can get your money back" I sort of awkwardly said "Cheers for that" and then crawled back to my my desk to die quietly...

a couple of weeks later I heard she'd been arrested for doing the same thing AGAIN and that she'd been reported to the charity in question and that she was now no longer a member...they couldnt get my money back but she'd been cautioned...

now up until this week the story normally ended there but I saw on the local news literally the other day that she'd been arrested AGAIN for literally stealing charity buckets from hospitals...I dont know who this woman is but my god. she doesnt waste time...
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Alex
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« Reply #31 on: January 11, 2018, 11:52:28 AM »

You have my sympathies TYTD, I remember one day when I was going for my interview to join the RAF an Middle Eastern looking woman in the garb of a muslim stood infront of me in the street and thrust a bit of paper into my hand. It said something along the lines of she couldn't speak english and had to get someone to write this note for her. She was a refugee and was going to be deported unless she found someone to marry her, and promised she would be a good wife.

While I felt sorry for her, I decided not to marry a strange looking woman off the street who I had never met before and who couldn't speak the same language as me.

Anyway, here is my confession. Today I put on a pair of white jeans, a white tee shirt and then took a photograph on facebook simply because all my friends are used to seeing me in black and it will freak them out. Especially after we had a movie marathon recently with Invasion of the Body Snatchers as the last showing. Now I am going to make some fb posts about sports that everyone knows I hate.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
ER
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The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #32 on: January 11, 2018, 12:30:20 PM »

While I felt sorry for her, I decided not to marry a strange looking woman off the street who I had never met before and who couldn't speak the same language as me.


BounceGiggle
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What does not kill me makes me stranger.
TYTD Review
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« Reply #33 on: January 11, 2018, 01:02:24 PM »

While I felt sorry for her, I decided not to marry a strange looking woman off the street who I had never met before and who couldn't speak the same language as me.


BounceGiggle

Seconded! xD

Which version of Body snatchers was it out of curiosity?  Smile
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Pacman000
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« Reply #34 on: January 11, 2018, 03:13:29 PM »

Anyway, here is my confession. Today I put on a pair of white jeans, a white tee shirt and then took a photograph on facebook simply because all my friends are used to seeing me in black and it will freak them out. Especially after we had a movie marathon recently with Invasion of the Body Snatchers as the last showing. Now I am going to make some fb posts about sports that everyone knows I hate.
Funny, but shouldn't you act the same except without emotion?
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Alex
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« Reply #35 on: January 11, 2018, 04:20:47 PM »

While I felt sorry for her, I decided not to marry a strange looking woman off the street who I had never met before and who couldn't speak the same language as me.


BounceGiggle

Seconded! xD

Which version of Body snatchers was it out of curiosity?  Smile

The original was the last one played, but the Donald Sutherland versions was played earlier in the night. We sandwiched The Thing in the middle.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Alex
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« Reply #36 on: January 11, 2018, 04:22:05 PM »

Anyway, here is my confession. Today I put on a pair of white jeans, a white tee shirt and then took a photograph on facebook simply because all my friends are used to seeing me in black and it will freak them out. Especially after we had a movie marathon recently with Invasion of the Body Snatchers as the last showing. Now I am going to make some fb posts about sports that everyone knows I hate.
Funny, but shouldn't you act the same except without emotion?

If I did that they'd think I was being normal.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Alex
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« Reply #37 on: January 17, 2018, 10:32:09 AM »

Today I was in the toilet and after washing my hands I found there was no paper towels to dry my hands on. However, one of my co-workers had left a jersey hanging off a locker and I used it as a handy improvised towel.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
ER
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The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #38 on: January 17, 2018, 10:45:07 AM »

You know what's missing from this confession thread? Penance. Like when someone confesses the rest should assign some act of penance, like, "Alex, eat a handful of snow." That sort of thing.
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What does not kill me makes me stranger.
Alex
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« Reply #39 on: January 22, 2018, 03:30:15 PM »

Uh huh. I can see me becoming the BDMO whipping boy. Perhaps we need to change those letters to BDSM?

Anyway, over Christmas I tried my best to get all my family to sit down and watch Santa Claus Conquers The Martains with me. Kristi however having watched it with me before wouldn't let me. :(
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
AoTFan
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« Reply #40 on: January 28, 2018, 07:39:17 AM »

he says "Dont bother with those kind of people mate. they're scammers." I'll take your receipt in after work and see if I can get your money back" I sort of awkwardly said "Cheers for that" and then crawled back to my my desk to die quietly...

a couple of weeks later I heard she'd been arrested for doing the same thing AGAIN and that she'd been reported to the charity in question and that she was now no longer a member...they couldnt get my money back but she'd been cautioned...

A bit off-topic but this and other stories like are why I'm cynical about giving money to "homeless" people on the street. 

That being said, I too have a hard time saying, "No" and have done it in the past...
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ER
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The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #41 on: January 28, 2018, 08:02:29 AM »

Today marks seven days since my cousin was known to be seen by anyone, and I have a deep-seated certainty that she is dead. When I ponder her having met whatever fate she ultimately did, I have a surprising feeling of peace that rises above my dread and sadness.
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What does not kill me makes me stranger.
ER
B-Movie Kraken
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Karma: 1754
Posts: 13425


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #42 on: January 29, 2018, 10:17:14 AM »

Well, my psycho cousin is not dead, and I'm 70% relieved. Turns out she had a chance to go to Florida for a while, so hey, she gee-golly up and went to Florida with about a minute's lead-time. No word to her roommates or friends or, God forbid, family, skipping seeing her toddler son at visitation, not picking up her check or packing anything, just....Florida, here I come, because I'm a crazy Irish junky!

I truly was thinking it was curtains this time. Drugs, murder, accident, suicide, I thought something got her, but noooo, she's Little Sally Live-A-Lot down there probably getting sunburned in wintertime while she concocts new schemes to torment me.
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AoTFan
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« Reply #43 on: January 30, 2018, 08:02:48 AM »

Well, my psycho cousin is not dead, and I'm 70% relieved. Turns out she had a chance to go to Florida for a while, so hey, she gee-golly up and went to Florida with about a minute's lead-time. No word to her roommates or friends or, God forbid, family, skipping seeing her toddler son at visitation, not picking up her check or packing anything, just....Florida, here I come, because I'm a crazy Irish junky!

I truly was thinking it was curtains this time. Drugs, murder, accident, suicide, I thought something got her, but noooo, she's Little Sally Live-A-Lot down there probably getting sunburned in wintertime while she concocts new schemes to torment me.

And let me guess.. she went there with some dude she'd just met?   Buggedout
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AoTFan
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« Reply #44 on: January 30, 2018, 08:03:35 AM »

Some days all I really look forward to is what I'm going to eat for dinner that day.   Bluesad
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