Odd Things You Find Unsettling

[ER]

I find it unsettling to face the recurring realization, as I do often, usually as I'm going to sleep, that one day I will die. I WILL. No ifs, I will. The day will come. I shall perish, pass away, stop, cease, end, coda. My personality will be unwoven, my knowledge and memories dissolve, I will become a late person, a former somebody, one who occupies the past tense. Whether I'll then be a voyager through the undiscovered country or merely a one-time collection of atoms, now applied elsewhere, time will tell, but the hour will come. No matter how settled into my left brain that truth may be, the realization always seems to hit my right brain with all the force of a news flash, and I jolt awake and think....even me?

I'm going to die...

I'm going to die.

Believe it or not I am not a person of faith. Faith is not in me. I believe the most logical explanation for the claims that Jesus rose from the dead are that Jesus rose from the dead, and from that I gather hope, hope that gives purposeful order to my life, for wisdom says the teachings of one who can rise from the dead should be heeded, but hope is not the same thing as faith, and in the brutal honesty of night's stillness it still strikes me like a slap: yes, tonight, tomorrow, sixty years, a hundred, I am unquestionably going to die.

And that unsettles me more than anything else in this life except one thing-----those I love are going to die, too.

The future. The future unsettles me. I'd much rather hold onto now.

[RCMerchant]

Sunny days. Where not a cloud is in the sky. Like I should be outside doing something constructive-but I got nothing. I feel like when I go outside-the sun is glaring at me. I feel like screaming at the sky "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME???".

[indianasmith]

I find it unsettling to face the recurring realization, as I do often, usually as I'm going to sleep, that one day I will die. I WILL. No ifs, I will. The day will come. I shall perish, pass away, stop, cease, end, coda. My personality will be unwoven, my knowledge and memories dissolve, I will become a late person, a former somebody, one who occupies the past tense. Whether I'll then be a voyager through the undiscovered country or merely a one-time collection of atoms, now applied elsewhere, time will tell, but the hour will come. No matter how settled into my left brain that truth may be, the realization always seems to hit my right brain with all the force of a news flash, and I jolt awake and think....even me?

I'm going to die...

I'm going to die.

Believe it or not I am not a person of faith. Faith is not in me. I believe the most logical explanation for the claims that Jesus rose from the dead are that Jesus rose from the dead, and from that I gather hope, hope that gives purposeful order to my life, for wisdom says the teachings of one who can rise from the dead should be heeded, but hope is not the same thing as faith, and in the brutal honesty of night's stillness it still strikes me like a slap: yes, tonight, tomorrow, sixty years, a hundred, I am unquestionably going to die.

And that unsettles me more than anything else in this life except one thing-----those I love are going to die, too.

The future. The future unsettles me. I'd much rather hold onto now.

Just believe.  When you believe, faith follows after.

[RCMerchant]

I find it unsettling to face the recurring realization, as I do often, usually as I'm going to sleep, that one day I will die. I WILL. No ifs, I will. The day will come. I shall perish, pass away, stop, cease, end, coda. My personality will be unwoven, my knowledge and memories dissolve, I will become a late person, a former somebody, one who occupies the past tense. Whether I'll then be a voyager through the undiscovered country or merely a one-time collection of atoms, now applied elsewhere, time will tell, but the hour will come. No matter how settled into my left brain that truth may be, the realization always seems to hit my right brain with all the force of a news flash, and I jolt awake and think....even me?

I'm going to die...

I'm going to die.

Believe it or not I am not a person of faith. Faith is not in me. I believe the most logical explanation for the claims that Jesus rose from the dead are that Jesus rose from the dead, and from that I gather hope, hope that gives purposeful order to my life, for wisdom says the teachings of one who can rise from the dead should be heeded, but hope is not the same thing as faith, and in the brutal honesty of night's stillness it still strikes me like a slap: yes, tonight, tomorrow, sixty years, a hundred, I am unquestionably going to die.

And that unsettles me more than anything else in this life except one thing-----those I love are going to die, too.

The future. The future unsettles me. I'd much rather hold onto now.

Just believe.  When you believe, faith follows after.

Yeeeahhh.....noooooo....
I'm sorry but that makes no sense. Basing a belief  system on pure 'faith' is insane.
Don't get me wrong! If it makes you a better-more peaceful person-I'm all for it.
BUT-I don't usually see that happening. You,Indy,my friend-are the exception to the rule.
Most folks who base their beliefs in  ancient religions end up fighting each other.

[indianasmith]

Maybe they're not doing it right!   

I'll tell you this right now, my friend:  At this moment, my faith is carrying me through a very difficult time. 
And - there are more like me than you might realize.

[RCMerchant]

Maybe they're not doing it right!    

I'll tell you this right now, my friend:  At this moment, my faith is carrying me through a very difficult time.  
And - there are more like me than you might realize.

Indy,my brother-if it works for you-and harms no on else-I'm all for it. You,my friend-are a true Christian.
Me-I'm way too cynical. Which likely has made my life worse-but I can't help it.   It's just who I am.
I find religion to be awful and scary. I just can't do it.

[indianasmith]

Don't embrace organized religion.
Simply embrace Jesus.  Read what He taught; live how He lived.
All the other stuff is window dressing.

[RCMerchant]

Don't embrace organized religion.
Simply embrace Jesus.  Read what He taught; live how He lived.
All the other stuff is window dressing.

Thats nice-sadly-thats not how most folks think. Most fight and kill over it. Big turn off,man.
The Crusades-and The Muslim Jihad, and every other little thing that folks feel the need to push the "agenda" of their belief.
f**k all that.
I'm an atheist for many reasons-the war factor is the top of the list-the just plan illogical factor is a close second.
The "love your brother" thing seems to only work if you are of the same belief system. Otherwise it's "love your brother if he conforms to your belief." And I'm guilty of that . I should be more open minded-but I'm not. I think I'm right and everyone else is wrong. I'm working on that. I really am trying to be more tolerant.

[RCMerchant]

Thats why I haven't been online here lately. I attacked some folks for their political beliefs-and I felt awful for it afterwards. I was becoming what I hate.

[indianasmith]

This has been a deeply divisive political season, and it's not getting any better.
But at the same time, we are all bound by our common humanity, our hopes for the future, and our love of Bad Movies.
This place would lose a big chunk of its soul if you left, Ronnie.  So hang around, and rant about whatever you want!
We love ya regardless!

[javakoala]

I find all this religion and politics to be unsettling.

 

Okay, yeah, I'll just show myself out.

[El Misfit]

I find all this religion and politics to be unsettling.

 

Okay, yeah, I'll just show myself out.

Want to head to the bar and watch the s**t storm unfold?

[javakoala]

I find all this religion and politics to be unsettling.

 

Okay, yeah, I'll just show myself out.

Want to head to the bar and watch the s**t storm unfold?

That, my friend, is why I do NOT go to bars anymore. Drunken s**t storms are unsettling, especially if I'm caught in the middle of said storm. But thanks for the offer.   

[RCMerchant]

I havent been to a bar in over 30 years.

[Paquita]

The sound of bells ringing drives me crazy.  I almost don't even want to post it because someone could probably use them to enslave me.  If the volume is light, like wind chimes, I get very aggressive, but if it's super loud like a gong or nearby church bells, I just want to curl up and disappear.  If I hear them on TV or a radio, it's not so bad.

I find it unsettling to face the recurring realization, as I do often, usually as I'm going to sleep, that one day I will die. I WILL. No ifs, I will. The day will come. I shall perish, pass away, stop, cease, end, coda. My personality will be unwoven, my knowledge and memories dissolve, I will become a late person, a former somebody, one who occupies the past tense. Whether I'll then be a voyager through the undiscovered country or merely a one-time collection of atoms, now applied elsewhere, time will tell, but the hour will come. No matter how settled into my left brain that truth may be, the realization always seems to hit my right brain with all the force of a news flash, and I jolt awake and think....even me?

I'm going to die...

I'm going to die.

Believe it or not I am not a person of faith. Faith is not in me. I believe the most logical explanation for the claims that Jesus rose from the dead are that Jesus rose from the dead, and from that I gather hope, hope that gives purposeful order to my life, for wisdom says the teachings of one who can rise from the dead should be heeded, but hope is not the same thing as faith, and in the brutal honesty of night's stillness it still strikes me like a slap: yes, tonight, tomorrow, sixty years, a hundred, I am unquestionably going to die.

And that unsettles me more than anything else in this life except one thing-----those I love are going to die, too.

The future. The future unsettles me. I'd much rather hold onto now.

This happens to me in the middle of the night too.  Not as I'm drifting off to sleep though, but when I wake up suddenly, as if the thought was so jarring that it startled me awake.  I also had a chronic obsessive fear of the end of the world for over 10 years.  The fear would hit me like a brick at random times of the day and was sometimes bad enough to make me terribly depressed for weeks at a time.  As you said, it wasn't the fear of my own death that was most frightening, but for all the things and people that I love.  I somehow got over it, but I don't exactly remember how, maybe I just worried it out of myself.  It still bothers me when people talk about it, especially nonchalantly because I think it was a flippant comment that triggered the fear to start.   I do remember it bothering me as a child too, but the thought of being a teenager one day and having as much fun as I saw my older sister having was enough for me to get over it.  I guess once I realized I don't have that thought to comfort me anymore it came back.  Ha!