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Author Topic: Strange Situations.  (Read 5540 times)
Alex
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« on: August 31, 2017, 03:59:51 PM »

Just out of random curiosity, what is the wierdest, out there situation you have ever found yourself in? I don't mean things like encounters with the supernatural or anything like that, just something that should have been normal but somehow ended up being anything but.

Mine goes back to the heady days of the late 90's. I had decided that although I already had plenty of qualifications in electronics I should pick up some more in depth knowledge of computers, so signed up for a two year college course in Computer Networking, Support and Administration. Me and a friend from school both joined up at the same time on the same course (although before the first year was done, I was to find child porn on his computer and report him to the police. We'd been best friends since we were 12, but once I found that stuff on his computer I didn't care. Anyway, that isn't the wierdest part and I am digressing). We made new friends pretty quickly, one of whom was a girl of Chinese desent. She was pretty cute and seemed like a fun person. She didn't know anyone else on the course and asked if she could talk with us. We said yeah. Anyway, the first year came to an end. She had picked up a boyfriend in the meantime, she went back to Inverness and I was living on the opposite coast. We remained in touch via the phone though (this was in the infancy of the internet).

I took a summer job, which often meant I was worked until late at night or even early in the morning. This particular night I had been worked about 14 hours and got home feeling pretty tired. The rest of the family were visiting someone so I was home alone. Had some food, a quick shower and went to bed. I got woken up around 4 in the morning when the phone rang. Pretty sure no one would call me at that time in the morning unless it was an emergancy I staggered out of bed, went downstairs and answered the phone.

It was her, she sounded really upset and then asked me how much I would charge to kill her sister (also why I am withholding her name. This wasn't the first time or last time I have been asked that question. I dunno, I guess I look like a hitman or something).

Anyway, I got her to calm down and tell me what the problem was. It turned out her and her sister had went to the cinema together. Some guy had tried to chat her up, but since he had a boyfriend she'd turned him down. The sister had then decided she liked this guy and gotten his phone number and she was outraged at (and I quote the exact words here) here for "Moving in on her property".

Anyway, I spent a couple of hours on the phone to her and eventually I talked her out of having her younger sister murdered for this. Mind you, she had also asked me to break the arm of a guy who turned her down when she asked him out so perhaps I shouldn't have been quite as surprised.

Just as an addendum to this, I thought I mention that during the next year at school after she'd split up with her boyfriend me and her ended up having sex together. She didn't like foreplay and thought any position other than the missionary one was dirty and claimed they hurt her. She did give oral (and was pretty good at it), but I was the first guy who had ever given it back to her. All through sex she would just lie there, saying nothing and not moving, although she seemed to be out to have as much sex as she could get.

Anyway, she also rates as my number one strangest relationship as well as strangest situation. And its over to you.
« Last Edit: August 31, 2017, 04:06:07 PM by Dark Alex » Logged

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ER
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The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #1 on: August 31, 2017, 08:09:57 PM »

Just out of random curiosity, what is the wierdest, out there situation you have ever found yourself in? I don't mean things like encounters with the supernatural or anything like that, just something that should have been normal but somehow ended up being anything but.

Mine goes back to the heady days of the late 90's. I had decided that although I already had plenty of qualifications in electronics I should pick up some more in depth knowledge of computers, so signed up for a two year college course in Computer Networking, Support and Administration. Me and a friend from school both joined up at the same time on the same course (although before the first year was done, I was to find child porn on his computer and report him to the police. We'd been best friends since we were 12, but once I found that stuff on his computer I didn't care. Anyway, that isn't the wierdest part and I am digressing). We made new friends pretty quickly, one of whom was a girl of Chinese desent. She was pretty cute and seemed like a fun person. She didn't know anyone else on the course and asked if she could talk with us. We said yeah. Anyway, the first year came to an end. She had picked up a boyfriend in the meantime, she went back to Inverness and I was living on the opposite coast. We remained in touch via the phone though (this was in the infancy of the internet).

I took a summer job, which often meant I was worked until late at night or even early in the morning. This particular night I had been worked about 14 hours and got home feeling pretty tired. The rest of the family were visiting someone so I was home alone. Had some food, a quick shower and went to bed. I got woken up around 4 in the morning when the phone rang. Pretty sure no one would call me at that time in the morning unless it was an emergancy I staggered out of bed, went downstairs and answered the phone.

It was her, she sounded really upset and then asked me how much I would charge to kill her sister (also why I am withholding her name. This wasn't the first time or last time I have been asked that question. I dunno, I guess I look like a hitman or something).

Anyway, I got her to calm down and tell me what the problem was. It turned out her and her sister had went to the cinema together. Some guy had tried to chat her up, but since he had a boyfriend she'd turned him down. The sister had then decided she liked this guy and gotten his phone number and she was outraged at (and I quote the exact words here) here for "Moving in on her property".

Anyway, I spent a couple of hours on the phone to her and eventually I talked her out of having her younger sister murdered for this. Mind you, she had also asked me to break the arm of a guy who turned her down when she asked him out so perhaps I shouldn't have been quite as surprised.

Just as an addendum to this, I thought I mention that during the next year at school after she'd split up with her boyfriend me and her ended up having sex together. She didn't like foreplay and thought any position other than the missionary one was dirty and claimed they hurt her. She did give oral (and was pretty good at it), but I was the first guy who had ever given it back to her. All through sex she would just lie there, saying nothing and not moving, although she seemed to be out to have as much sex as she could get.

Anyway, she also rates as my number one strangest relationship as well as strangest situation. And its over to you.

I love how you'll tell something freaky about a situation or some woman, and then be like, "But that's not the weirdest part/she's not the weirdest woman I dated/ that was not the first or last time someone offered me money to commit a murder..." lol
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Trevor
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« Reply #2 on: September 01, 2017, 02:24:30 AM »

Just out of random curiosity, what is the wierdest, out there situation you have ever found yourself in? I don't mean things like encounters with the supernatural or anything like that, just something that should have been normal but somehow ended up being anything but.

This is probably going to gross people out, but I was once invited to a party which abruptly turned into a mini-orgy.  Buggedout

Me run away: quickly.  Buggedout
« Last Edit: September 01, 2017, 02:39:29 AM by Trevor » Logged

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indianasmith
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« Reply #3 on: September 01, 2017, 06:34:39 AM »

One time I was hiking out of a creek bottom, trying to find a shortcut back to the highway, and I came across a tent in a clearing.  There was a clothesline strung in front of it with all these dismembered doll parts hanging from it - heads, arms, legs, all painted red where they had been severed.  Then I looked to the left and saw that the tent was pitched next to an old graveyard I had never seen before.  Old grey tombstones leaning every which way, and burned out candles in front of each tombstone.  Then I saw an open coffin lying next to one of the tombstones!  I started to freak out, but as I got a bit closer I realized that the "tombstones" were painted Styrofoam - and the "coffin" had an was a modified refrigerator box with a moldy pumpkin lying on top of an empty suit of clothes.  What I had found was the remains of a very well done, creepy "haunted hayride" from Halloween a month earlier! Pretty cool, really!
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ER
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The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #4 on: September 01, 2017, 09:01:31 AM »

I had the good fortune of growing up from age ten until I moved away, living next door to a sweet old country woman, who, sadly, passed on while visiting her family for the Thanksgiving holiday in 2011. Though I was pregnant for the second time in a year, I went with my father deep into the mountainous backwoods of West Virginia, up and down winding dirt roads, once even driving across a shallow creek with no bridge, in order to attend her funeral. While I have lived through an Irish wake or two (not the watered-down American versions but the Connaughtan real deal) nothing in my background prepared me for the tactile nature of the Appalachian Pentecostal sendoff that took place.

We parked on a grassy flood plain and entered a small, well-maintained but by no means ostentatious church painted white, plain but somehow dignified. The people gathered there, and it seemed like half the county was coming, funerals being an attraction I do seriously think, and they were a solemn lot, their expressions grim, their faces set in this almost glaring focus. No one spoke to us or made eye contact. I have never felt more like an outsider at any time in my life.

Upon entering the church, I saw men sat on one side and women on the other, with an aisle dividing them. All right, no worries, it was all good, I didn't need to be by my father to feel less weirded out (ahem). But then I saw my neighbor's open casket at the head of the church, and there she was lying within, and there are few worse sights in life than seeing someone you've loved lying dead. She was in a loose white dress, two shoes poking up, her waxen, flattened face the color of a snowy candle, her hands folded across herself, dead, dead, dead.

The service began with several of my neighbor's relatives approaching the pulpit and giving Bible readings about there being no death for the elect, and a short Hellfire sermon followed given in an accent exact like Jodie Foster's in The Silence of the Lambs (ex-actly like hers) which told us nearly all of us were destined for an eternity of misery known as torment but a few might be spared if we accepted Jesus and trusted that salvation came not at Calvary as the world mistakenly believed in its heresy, but only on the day of Pentecost, since devoid the Holy Ghost working in this world, there was no escape from damnation. If we did not all accept that in our hearts, we would burn without end. And I swear the preacher looked directly at me for several seconds when he said that, and later my dad said he'd looked at him too.

I've told myself from that preacher's perspective he had this vitally important fact to get out there, thinking this might be the only chance we two visitors ever had to hear this all-possessing truth he ardently held in his heart, but in fact at that moment under his piercing eyes his church was not a warm friendly place to be!

Next a choir of about eight locals in black clothing sang (quite well, actually) some disturbing hymns I had never heard before or since, ("Stamp on the serpent's head/make sure that devil is dead...") while the congregants stomped their feet in time, rather like some military drill, and clapped their hands and swayed while many raised their hands skyward, making it like a forest of arms all around me in that confined little pew, and they swayed, spilling out into the small aisle, swirling into each other in what was not a dance but like writhing, like they were lost in emotion and it was animating them, and as they did this I stood there not really knowing what to make of it but it went on and one through many songs and I noticed every hymn centered around sinners burning while the righteous few rose on high, and I got the distinct impression that first of all Catholic visitors had not figured real heavily into the little country church's history, and that secondly everyone had been told ahead of time who and what my dad and I were, though I was not religious myself and neither was he, whether that'd make their outlook better or worse I can only guess, and so just maybe much of the Hellfire talk truly was aimed at my dad and me.

I was just glad it wasn't the anniversary of the Boyne or that any local children were missing.

So the singing finally stopped and people wailed and wept and stomped the floor some more, even without the choir, they continued to hold arms toward heaven, and as they filed up I saw something I couldn't believe I was seeing, which was they grabbed and hugged and kissed my neighbor in her casket, even kind of lifting her up so she was psuedo-sitting while someone supported her flopping head like a newborn baby's. I just....nothing prepared me for that sight.

Then her entire extended family and neighbors from the area linked hands above her and over and over screamed: “Devil can’t have her! Devil can’t have her!”

I saw one woman literally roll on the floor at that point while pulling on her hair.

It was shocking, yet as a guest at the church, pregnant, don’t forget, I had to keep my face expressionless and pretend I found all of this totally normal, which was a double challenge given my propensity to laugh at the wrong times. God only knows what the consequences of laughing at them would have been.

And it only got more intense. The husband of my late neighbor, now a widower, threw himself down and wept, begging God to take him along with his wife, because he could not face life alone.

So these mountain Bible believers joined hands around him and the preacher, a man with a baritone reminiscent of Johnny Cash’s, prayed in a hard zero-nonsense style while others mumbled and chanted and made exclamations, and it struck me that they were asking for God to kill him so he could be with his wife.

It was eerie and I was glad to leave, no one ever acknowledged us or thanked us for coming or invited us to the pot luck supper after. I said to my dad, "How about we put in some distance in before nightfall?" He kinda nodded, so we did.

I guess cultural idiosyncrasies are what they are and to all of them this was normal, but it left me disturbed.

Oh, yeah, a post-script. In the future when my neighbor's husband was selling his house and moving back to that area, he had various volunteers from their rural West Virginia community come haul his things away, and one young man who was a lay preacher walked over to me and told me (as I've mentioned here a couple times), "I have never seen someone so obviously demonically possessed as you."

This may not be the strangest situation I was ever in, okay, it wasn't at all, but it ranks on the list.
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Alex
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« Reply #5 on: September 01, 2017, 09:50:35 AM »

If it helps any, I can sympathise having been told on many occasions that I was damned to hell, or was going to burn in hell. After the fourth or so time I decided to reply "Well might as well have fun here and now then since what ever I do I am damned regardless."
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RCMerchant
Bela
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"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


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« Reply #6 on: September 01, 2017, 08:25:23 PM »

Wow-this is real long winded s**t.
I can do it short.
My brother in law Leroy Wons (look it up) told me he was gonna kill my ex-wife's Gail Won's boyfreind. He did. He shot him in the back with my gun.Killed him too.
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Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

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RCMerchant
Bela
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"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


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« Reply #7 on: September 01, 2017, 08:33:27 PM »

Here it is.
My brother in law shot some mothe f**ker in the back. I knew the guy he shot-it was my first wifes boyfreind

http://www.heraldpalladium.com/localnews/lawton-man-arrested-in-fatal-shooting/article_baafd473-3374-5654-96fc-8acf30771725.html

My ex girlfreind from the 80's had her ma and dad murdered-she was living at my house right before and after it happened. Her meth head cousins killed them.


http://cw7michigan.com/news/local/suspect-facing-murder-charges-in-noble-murders-05-20-2016

so yeah.
The first one-when Leroy shot that guy-he ran to my house-wanted to hide in the shed. He told me what he did-I told him "f**k no!" I had my kids! He ran to South Haven-called the cops and gave himself up.
The second time-Kerrie Noble was my girlfreind in the early 80's-I had nothing to do with her in the 90's-but she needed a place to live. I gave her one,until she got on her feet. Her methhead cousin  broke into her ma and dads house-beat them with a golf club-and burned the house down. Timmy was the last to get arrested. Some crazy ass woman and Ronnie Spangler got busted first and ratted Timmy out.
« Last Edit: September 01, 2017, 08:42:59 PM by RCMerchant » Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
RCMerchant
Bela
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"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #8 on: September 01, 2017, 08:46:56 PM »

Oh-my little brother shot himself in the head and my cousin Ricky hung himself. Theres that too.
And people wonder why Im f**king crazy. Hatred
Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
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A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #9 on: September 01, 2017, 09:51:53 PM »

Dang, Ronnie, that's a LOT of violent death intersecting one life!
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RCMerchant
Bela
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"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #10 on: September 01, 2017, 11:50:39 PM »

Dang, Ronnie, that's a LOT of violent death intersecting one life!
Yeah-aint it groovy?  Hatred
Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2591
Posts: 15182


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #11 on: September 02, 2017, 03:03:48 AM »

I don't know if that is the word I would choose - but it is SOMETHING!   Buggedout
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
RCMerchant
Bela
B-Movie Kraken
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"Charlie,we're in HELL!"-"yeah,ain't it groovy?!"


WWW
« Reply #12 on: September 02, 2017, 03:26:57 AM »

I don't know if that is the word I would choose - but it is SOMETHING!   Buggedout

Indy-look at my avatar-right underneath the photo. I put that there for a reason. All this s**t happened way before I joined this forum. Except my brother shooting himself in the head. I didnt know what the f**k a computer was.I discovered the internet about the same time I joined this forum-2005.
Do I think it's groovy?
That saying comes from a documentary from 1972-called MANSON. Some guy asked Manson-while they were tripping on acid in the old bus-this was before the murders-he was tripping-and thought he was in hell-he said to Charlie-"We're in hell!"
Charlie said-
"Yeah-aint it groovy?"
I identify with the Manson Family-thats crazy-I know. I feel isolated.
And thats where all that came from.
 Ta da!  Twirling
I'm a child of my time.
Don't judge me too harshly for my madness. Were all mad.
This world made me. I am a reflection of this madness. It's not new. IT'S YOU.ITS ALL OF US.
Maybe not you-but it is me. I look at murder like a soldier does-sometimes it's justified. It's always justified in your own mind-by religion or politics we murder each other every day. I think its all crazy. But it happens-it's common insanity. It's insane. Is Charlie evil? Did Sharon Tate have to die-Oh no-that was f**ked.
Is Charlie the madman? Is he evil? Oh yes. Very evil.What he did was evil.
Are we? That support and encourage mass murder in 3rd world countrys? Who's the real villian? I think we all are.
Yes-Were all evil.
The Manson Family seem like folks I knew-don't scare me. Crazy is normal to me.
Small | Large


Am I evil?
Yes I am. Or am I? you be the judge.

(told you I was crazy-what did you expect? Sponge Bob?)


« Last Edit: September 02, 2017, 04:08:28 AM by RCMerchant » Logged

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 2591
Posts: 15182


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #13 on: September 02, 2017, 05:46:49 AM »

Sponge Bob is FAR more annoying than you, RC! LOL
It's funny, you and I are less than a year apart in age.  I will be 54 in December.
But in terms of our life experiences, we might as well be from different planets!
That being said - I do believe evil lurks in all of us.  We wear our veneer of civilization very lightly, but when the restraints are removed, it doesn't take long for the savage in all of us to emerge.  Stephen King has written about that aspect of humanity repeatedly, and perhaps with greater eloquence than any living writer.  UNDER THE DOME is just the most recent example.
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"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"
ER
B-Movie Kraken
*****

Karma: 1754
Posts: 13425


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #14 on: September 02, 2017, 06:23:56 AM »

Dear diary, it's September 2, 2018, one year after I entered our fallout shelter on the grim day the alien spaceships appeared in the heavens, and Justin Bieber revealed himself to be the Dark Lord from Planet X. (But that last part didn't really surprise anyone by that point.) I think I heard some genetically-modified poison trees walking up on the surface last night, driven by the Katy Perry clones, though maybe it was the Brad Pitt clones riding the Trump/woolly mammoth hybrids. The chanting from the captive masses kind of drones on and on, making it hard to tell whether it's day or night. It's all the same in the darkness.

But that's not the weirdest thing I've been through in my life. No, not by a longshot. You see, through it all in these odd times since celebrities yanked off their masks and took over, I'm still haunted by the real strangeness I encountered in those last years before the world flipped upside down and celebrities revealed their true nature as beings from Planet X.

All right, here it is, I'll write about it now, in case anyone ever finds this diary someday, and it's not for the faint of heart, THEE strangest situation of my life.

The horror....the horror...

Once, I think it was a Tuesday, my life began with total normality. Nothing was untoward, weird....strange. The birds were singing. There might even have been a rainbow in the sky.

Then I happened upon this forum called Bad Movies....

and....


and....


there were these...these people there....

A psycho clown.

Some Marine who coached soccer.

A prison guard who gave inmates....power tools.

One guy liked to name his toilet contents after a defunct German battleship! (Oh, the humanity!)

Another one, this African, he had....an uNdErWeAr fetish that went off the scale!!!

Yet another liked to end his posts with the cliffhanger "next time"....which left me half-crazed on the edge of my seat, waiting....waiting.

In the latter days there was a Scotsman who told of carrying a nearly-naked well-endowed lesbian on his shoulders.

And still another poster who appeared to be a zombie, 'least we all assumed she was.

I could also tell of a Virginian who posted every death twice.

I think, unless my delusions have grown here underground, there was a Canadian who didn't think (this part is truly weird) horses were scary!!

And the Reverend.... Oh, my God...the Reverend. No, no one would believe me about him.

Also others who were too strange to tell of. Too....too strange.

Oh, but there was one normal person there. He was into Bela Lugosi. He kept us all sane. What would we have done without him? Rumor is he leads a resistance cell now up in the north. He warned us years ago. He did warn us.

Yes, it was a strange, strange situation, weirder than any other in my life. Shame they all got abducted by celebrities soon after. All but the sane one. I miss them.

As for me, I'm making progress. I like it in my fallout shelter. I play with spiders.

Gollum....Gollum.
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