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Alex
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« Reply #120 on: December 15, 2019, 02:56:24 PM »

This chapter is going to be a bit longer than the others, but here is it so far.

A-Day +11.

I can tell you I was pretty surprised to open my eyes again. I had no idea where I was or how I’d gotten there but I seemed to be at the end of a dimly lit cave. I couldn’t see where the light was coming from either but something was providing a dull light, just enough for me to see around myself and the walls of the tunnel I found myself in. The walls were smooth and straight. Seeing only one direction I could head in and no reason to stay put I headed on down the tunnel.

I have no idea just how long the tunnel was or how long it took me to walk along it. The light never changed or wavered and I felt no hunger or tiredness with the passage of time so I guess it couldn’t have been as long as it felt. At some point though I found myself standing at a crossroads. The the left I could feel heat coming down the corridor. It felt like the kind of heat that would quickly get very uncomfortable. Was I in a network of caves in a volcano? It was a wide path but it turned sharply off to the left preventing me seeing very far along it. Yeah, that route was out. To the right, the tunnel slopped upwards steeply. It was much narrower than the opposite path, but as far as I could see it was a straight as a ruler. If I continued on the way I was going the tunnel seemed to go on just as it was. Mentally I shrugged my shoulders and continued straight ahead. The air grew damp. A volcano with a lake or underground river? The air itself became slightly misty, something I’d have thought impossible in such a confined space. Quite quickly I found my vision down to only a few inches as the mist swirled around me. The thought of turning back never occurred to me and I pressed on through the mist. Or was it a fog? I could never remember the difference.

There must have been some funky mineral deposits in the rock. Occasionally I’d see a flash of brightly coloured light. I felt a strong urge to investigate... no that’s not the right word. I felt an urge to chase the flashing lights, one moment yellow and then somewhere else an unknown distance away a right red ribbon of light would momentarily flash and disappear. I didn’t trust this feeling inside to follow the blinking lights, fixed my view firmly forwards and pushed on ahead.

The flashes faded and at some point I realised that the cave walls had either widened or the cave had ended and I was in the open air. I had no idea when the cave had changed, only that it had. Sounds drifted through the opaque air, things that might have been shouts, screams or the cries of animals. Thinking back it seems strange the things that didn’t occur to me. I hadn’t checked myself for injuries, or to see if I was carrying weapons. Things like that I had been ticking off my mental check list every day of my working life. Waking up in a strange place, no idea where I was or how long I’d been out, s**t like that should have been the first thing I thought of, but all I did was keep heading straight on with no other thought in my mind. Neither Amanda or Jo crossed my train of thought. Then again I am not sure much did.

The mist started to thin a little I think. I could see something dark through it. Something big. It was straight ahead and as I got closer, it loomed larger and larger, taking the proportions of some monstrous mountain. One that would dwarf anything I had ever seen in earth.

We ain’t in Kansas no more Toto, I thought to myself. Where the hell was I though?

I started to hear more noises through the mist. It was hard to hell which direction they were coming from.

I reached the base of the mountain. And when I say base, I mean it. The mountain just jutted out of the ground. A monolith reaching higher than I could see. One step it was flat ground, the next it was climbing up. The mist had cleared as I reached the mountain. I spun around looking for the bank of cloud and saw only a flat grey plain reaching as far as the eye could see.

“Ah,” I decided. “Must be in southern Utah. Explains the weird weather too.”

The lower part of the mountain was covered in barns and spikes. People were trying to crawl through it, but were making slow, if any progress. This was the first time since I awoke that I could remember having any real thoughts of my own beyond keep going forward. Must have been tens of, if not hundreds of thousands of people trying to climb past those sharp rocky outcrops. It was like watching them trying to get through barbed wire. They wailed and cried in a way that if I could have felt pity would sure as hell be piteous.

“So I am having a weird f**king dream about being in southern Utah?”
Couldn’t think of anything else that would make more sense.

Having nowhere else to go I figured I might as well climb the mountain. Now here is the really f**ked up part. I could see clear paths through the twisted rocks that one could take. I called to the forsaken climbers but none of them took any notice of me.

f**k ‘em. I had, had my fill of ungrateful people unwilling to help themselves recently. I pushed on up the mountain past the writhing masses. I could see no sun, nor other source of light but I could see like it was the brightest day. It climbed up at steep ass slope for a couple of hours following a twisted and winding path, but eventually I came to a smooth high wall. It reached as far as I could see to the left and to the right. Some of the people who had crawled through the hooks and spires and had found freedom continued crawling and all in the same direction. With nothing better to do, I set off on the same path. I started to feel an incredible sense of peace and serenity. The same aura I’d felt before when angels were around.

Crap. My day was about to get even worse.

The crawling bodies around me were all joining a long queue. It stretched on for miles. Yeah well bollocks to waiting in that. I pushed my way past the crawling masses, suppressing a shudder at the touch of so many people.

Eventually I could see the head of the queue. Sure enough as I expected, there was an angel. It stood in front of an opening in the wall. Each of the crawlers would go up to it and the angel would do something to their faces and they’d pass through the gate. Whatever was further up the mountain, this seemed to be the way to get there.

As I got closer I could see the angel was holding one of those swords. With a fancy and intricate flourish it would run the tip of the blade over the foreheads of the crawlers and then they’d stand up and pass through the gate.

Yeah, f**k that s**t. I was going through the gate and I wasn’t going to stand there meekly and let it carve me up. I strode over, my best confident and purposeful walk on and went to talk past the angel. It reached out with one arm to block my path and with a confused look on its face intoned “If thou seeks penance thou must come on thy knees and present thyself to be marked. As thoust cleanses thine self of each sin thou approachist the gates of Heaven and only then can thoust ascend once thine sins have been washed away and be one with thine own Lord.”

Not in Utah then. Kansas maybe?

“Look I am kinda in the wrong place and I’m not really looking to get to heaven. So how about you just let me past. I’ll find where I need to be and both of us will miss a whole load of trouble neither of us wants.”

The look of confusion on its beatific face increased. “Hast thou foundest the wrong afterlife?”

“There is more than one?”

“Verily. As each region of the earthly plane has its own Gehenna so does the eternities have its own ending. As angels and devils ravage the lands you call western Europe and North America so the goddess Kali reaps in India and Ragnarok rages in the Scandinavian countries.”

So the apocalypse was happening worldwide but in different ways. Guess I’d need to kick more than one god's arse. Fair enough. I had plenty of boot to go round.

“Hold on, I thought God, like your god, was the one true God? You are telling me there is more than him but your holy books and priests lied?”

The angel seemed on surer ground now, the confusion vanishing and being replaced with surety. “No. He is thine one true and only God.”

“But there are other gods?”

“No.”

“What about Kali?”

“She is thine, one true god, also.”

“So this is like a father, son and Holy Ghost thing? The whole three in one right?”

“No,” he replied sounding slightly exasperated. “Kali is a separate god. Thoust mortal mind is not meant to comprehend godhood, only to accept this word of God with faith in your heart.”

Part of me really wished Lewis were here. He might have been able to understand what the hell the angel was talking about. I decided it was all a load of bollocks and that I should change tack.”

“Say, that’s an awfully nice sword you’ve got there...”

A little while later I was walking on the other side of the wall, carrying the sword over one shoulder with a jaunty stride. I even tried whistling, but although I’ve tried all my life it’s a skill I’ve never been able to master. I hadn’t killed the angel but if they bruised then he was going to have a black eye for a while. I don’t tend to kill people if I don’t have to.

Of course my definition of ‘don’t have to’ is a bit broader than most folks.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
pennywise37
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« Reply #121 on: January 12, 2020, 08:53:25 AM »

yes i have actually, i'm a poet of sort, Originally a girl i was into's boyfriend years ago wrote poetry and to get try and get her into me which didn't work sadly,
i thought to myself if he can do it so can i. so i challenged myself one of the RARE times i've done that in my life. so what i did was not to ask for help from anyone i went online and did some searching  and found a site that sadly just closed called the starlight cafe which as a fantastic site for poetry and i read a slew of them
and it slowly begin to sink in how to do it.

so i thought to myself my brother was getting married that year this is in 2000 by the way so for a present i'll try a poem that i can give him, but whatever i tried i was unhappy with and i recently found the one i was working on and it was awful pure awful. so i tried and this and that and where i would start one and was unhappy with it and threw it away. i gave up trying to figure out to write him and his wife a poem by the way as i never could figure out what to say or how to say it.

but at apparently at some point in October the 13th apparently i finally found one that i was happy with that i didn't think was very good at the time, but recently i read it 20 years later and it's not bad actually it's better than i thought it was back than. anyways this is one i wrote last week i was lying in bed before my alarm went off cause i had to go to work that day and the word Youth came to me and the first paragraph too.

though it doesn't feel finished to me anyways, here it is


The Lost Days of Youth 1-7-20

Youth
Youth Is something we have & Something we all lose


Youth is something we all Treasure when we have it and when it's gone
Youth is nothing but Memories both good and bad

Something that gives us pleasure and pain
something that we all wish had once we lose it and wish we had it when it's gone
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ER
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The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters.


« Reply #122 on: January 22, 2020, 04:16:08 PM »


The Lost Days of Youth 1-7-20

Youth
Youth Is something we have & Something we all lose


Youth is something we all Treasure when we have it and when it's gone
Youth is nothing but Memories both good and bad

Something that gives us pleasure and pain
something that we all wish had once we lose it and wish we had it when it's gone

 Thumbup
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Das was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich noch merkwürdiger. (What does not kill me makes me stranger.)
pennywise37
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« Reply #123 on: January 23, 2020, 03:40:49 PM »

1stly i'm glad you liked it, this one i wrote the other day and these days i dunno why but i'm more open to  more people reading my poetry. not that i had a problem with it before but lately i think i just am curious what others think of that's all. anyways here's a newer one i wrote the other day.

and it's called  "The Night Sky' date 1-21-20

I'm just a dreamer
a dreamer beyond the stars & the moon and the sun
A Dreamer forevermore

Forevermore  Shall i Be
I look high into The sky at the stars & The moon
And the Darkness surrounding Me

The stars seem to come alive & as I gaze at the constellations
They Seem to Awaken from a dead Sleep
I shake my head in disbelief and wonder and than like a  dream they are still once more

and i start to wonder if what i saw was my eyes playing tricks on me or were the stars in fact alive for a few brief moments.

--------------------------------------


what do ya guys think?
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ER
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Karma: 1222
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The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters.


« Reply #124 on: January 23, 2020, 11:02:27 PM »

1stly i'm glad you liked it, this one i wrote the other day and these days i dunno why but i'm more open to  more people reading my poetry. not that i had a problem with it before but lately i think i just am curious what others think of that's all. anyways here's a newer one i wrote the other day.

and it's called  "The Night Sky' date 1-21-20

I'm just a dreamer
a dreamer beyond the stars & the moon and the sun
A Dreamer forevermore

Forevermore  Shall i Be
I look high into The sky at the stars & The moon
And the Darkness surrounding Me

The stars seem to come alive & as I gaze at the constellations
They Seem to Awaken from a dead Sleep
I shake my head in disbelief and wonder and than like a  dream they are still once more

and i start to wonder if what i saw was my eyes playing tricks on me or were the stars in fact alive for a few brief moments.

--------------------------------------


what do ya guys think?

It has a strong push behind it. Like an ocean wave. I like that.  Smile
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Das was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich noch merkwürdiger. (What does not kill me makes me stranger.)
pennywise37
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« Reply #125 on: January 24, 2020, 06:25:30 AM »

i have tons more and thank you, i was listing to Ozzy's Song Dreamer and than a girl i know once called me her dreamer that's where the idea of it came from really and i was remembering her calling me that and that's where the poem came from really
« Last Edit: January 24, 2020, 06:54:59 AM by pennywise37 » Logged
pennywise37
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« Reply #126 on: January 26, 2020, 12:37:28 AM »

this is an old one i wrote when i was in my 20's i'm 41 so that's how old it is lol

anyways it's called "If I had The Power" no date

If I had the power to make your everday happy than i would
If I had the power to give you the stars i would

if i had the power to take all the bad in the world away than i would
if i had the power to replace hate with love than i would

if i had the power to control the weather i would give you rainbows everyday
If i had the power to take away all the negativity the world has i would
If i could give you peace of Mind than i would
-------------------------------------------

what do ya think? a lot of these i don't remember even writing cause so many years i think has passed
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pennywise37
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« Reply #127 on: January 26, 2020, 01:21:41 AM »

this one i really like and i wrote this one recently. here it is

The Stage
dated 1-12-20 so I wrote this one recently.

Life's like a show when you are born the curtain rises & An Applause erupts louder & Louder so loud it's almost deafening

As You Get Older The Audience  Gets Few & Fewer until only certain people are left standing
When You Feel Alone the audience sounds so quiet you can hear the crickets in the audience

When you  Feel Loved The Audience is loud and deafening
By The Time You Die The Audience can go either way if you were sad and lonely  The audience feels dead and empty. 

But If you Feel Loved and are loved The Audience Erupts in Applause
You Take your Final Bow &  The Curtain Slowly very slowly comes down one final time
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pennywise37
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« Reply #128 on: January 26, 2020, 08:30:05 AM »

this one i just wrote and i really love it and consider it the best one i've ever done

here it is  The Dawn of a New Day 1-26-20

Arise my child it's the dawn of a new day
The Ghosts and goblins yesterday have gone away back where they belong in the shadows
Where The Ghosts and goblins Live
Where  Dreams are made and come true
Where Love is made and where love is broken

We live in a world of Dastardly Men and Dastardly Women
Where People steal & Rob things that don't belong to them

You Are our future and you are our past
A Future  where anything & a Past that is best left forgotten
You Are Part of our future and our past where anything can happen and does happen

You Are our dreams
You are my dream
A Dream Come True
A Dream That has a little piece of me into the world

a Little piece that can make a difference & Does make a difference
You Are part of love that was created by god
And Part of a love that was done through hard work
& Perseverance & Persistence

You are my world
You are my dream
You are everything i could hope for and did hope for
You are my future and you are my past
and i love you
------------------------------
how ya like it? i dunno if it's done yet but for now unless i can't think of anything else to say.
this one is unlike anything i've ever written and i think my best work. i dunno where it came from but i'm glad it came!
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ER
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The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters.


« Reply #129 on: January 26, 2020, 06:57:45 PM »

I liked reading it!  Smile
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Das was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich noch merkwürdiger. (What does not kill me makes me stranger.)
pennywise37
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« Reply #130 on: January 26, 2020, 07:08:09 PM »

i posted my new one on another site and they suggested i change the section where i put in god and change it to goddess what do you think?
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ER
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Karma: 1222
Posts: 8437


The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters.


« Reply #131 on: January 26, 2020, 07:15:29 PM »

i posted my new one on another site and they suggested i change the section where i put in god and change it to goddess what do you think?

I think you're the creator of the poem and it's up to you to go with your instinct.
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Das was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich noch merkwürdiger. (What does not kill me makes me stranger.)
pennywise37
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« Reply #132 on: January 26, 2020, 07:39:53 PM »

i know that but i'm always open for what people think, for me i think it's perfect but they said i should phrase it with this

a Little piece that can make a difference and Does make a difference
You Are part of my Love

that's not bad but they wanted me to take the religion aspect out of it and said it would be perfect with that gone, i normally don't put any religion in my poems so that's a first for me. but to me it's perfect but than i was sending this to a friend of mine and as i'm typing it i notice it needed tweaked so i had it make more sense and added a bit to finish it off. this was before i posted it on here. it took me sometime to figure out how to actually end it in fact cause the more i wrote it kept saying to me it's not done yet.
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ER
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Karma: 1222
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The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters.


« Reply #133 on: January 27, 2020, 12:05:38 AM »

To give a longer answer to your question, in life people are always going to be offering advice, opinions, counsel, veiled criticism, and when you write that goes double triple.

A good editor or mentor can be a good friend who can bring out the best in you, and sometimes suggestions are worth listening to, sometimes they are well-meant but don't offer improvement, and sometimes people are going to say things that are more about their own outlooks and prejudices than they are about anything that has to do with your writing.

What it all comes down to is what you write is your creation, and I personally feel a good original that comes from you is better than an alteration that reflects who another person is and what that other person is about.

To a certain degree writing is channeling from within yourself, reaching into your unconsciousness, and if your instinct guided you to choose a word, it's probably worthwhile to trust that the word arose for a reason, and unless changing it is something you are sure you want to do, then don't do it.

Writing is many things, it's telepathy when your words go out to your reader and enter another person's thoughts, but it can also be a mystical communion with yourself, and there is value in that.

Write what you feel and don't worry about another person's opinion that he or she knows what you meant to say better than you did. And besides, if the worry on another person's part is "religion" isn't mentioning a goddess as religious as mentioning a god? Sounds more like immature bigotry, to be honest.

Personally, I thought it was a pretty good poem!
« Last Edit: January 27, 2020, 12:10:28 AM by ER » Logged

Das was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich noch merkwürdiger. (What does not kill me makes me stranger.)
pennywise37
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« Reply #134 on: January 27, 2020, 12:33:26 AM »

thank you and them saying i should cut out the word god really caught me off guard to be honest. i don't mind asking for help i get stuck on a poem i don't often ask anyways. i often have trouble picking a good title as i can at times repeat the title of a poem so not wanting to use the same one i change it even though it at times feels it should be that one.

one i did recently the night sky i changed to the stars  cause already did one called the night sky apparently it fits with the poem either way.  i had that friend who suggested something and i used it cause i was stuck on how to finish it and i trust her. anyways i got stuck on a title once and i just could not think of one and she said how about this one and i forget what it was she said and i said what's that mean? she told me and after rereading my poem it actually fit the poem.

so i kept it. my gut is telling me not to change but i always am open to other peoples thoughts and also why they think i should change it if more than one person is telling me that. so far only that one person is and i'm not going by just one person since i posted it on a site i belong to. i do think it's kinda funny that of that entire poem they pick that one certain section.

and i did think about it for awhile but so far it just doesn't make sense on what i was trying to say. i asked about this one cause i think it's my best work i've ever done and i guess i want others to like it as well. i don't normally think like that but on this one poem i made an exception, really only cause i've never written anything this good in my life & i've never thought i could write anything like this & the fact that i did really caught me by surprise to be honest.

you see i'm my own worst critic i wrote a poem last week i forget which one it was and i didn't think it was one of my best but others i showed it to seemed to like it. i'm harder on my own work than others are to it actually. i've never had anyone say to me oh that one is terrible just plain terrible. i have said that about certain poems i've written before i threw it away though. there's one i found recently that i had tried writing to my brother when he got married 20 years ago

i had just started writing poetry and though i reread some of my 1st poems and thought to myself that it wasn't as bad as i thought back than. this one i had started, see it was going to be a poem about him getting married i tried about 30 different times writing him one and than just plump gave up cause all of them were just plain awful i think.

in fact i found the only one i had left and i still have it somewhere and it's unfinished but i still find it  terrible. but who knows maybe others will like it i dunno maybe i'll post it here at some point i dunno
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