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Author Topic: Written Anything Lately?  (Read 101595 times)
Alex
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« Reply #30 on: January 31, 2018, 02:36:41 PM »

Part 3.

Buddha staggered for a few steps dazed. Samadhi moved in for a swinging neck breaker, but Buddha is surprisingly light on his feet for such a big guy, ducks under Samadhi’s grasping hands, slips behind him then rams him hard into the corner post and Samadhi is down! Is Buddha going to go for the pin? No, he is climbing up. Oh my G… no wait, not that again. Jesus Christ, he is going for the top rope.”

Another voice says “Yes, I have eyes and can see that too.” What a character, he has his hands over his eyes and is peeking through them. That JC really cracks me up. Great guy. I ask him to hold my car keys for me and then laugh as they fall on the floor. He falls for that one every time.

Time for a ladies match. Women Scorned (Hel – finisher Highway To Hel & Chyna special move, low blow to the groin. Not as effective against other women as men though) against The Hail Mary’s (Virgin Mary – finisher Immaculate Leg Drop and Mary Magdalene special finisher Witness The Crucifixion). Women Scorned come down to Highway To Hell, AC/DC are popular tonight and the choir is doing it justice. The Hail Mary’s come down in rhinestone studded nuns costumes to Proud Mary.

Magdalene goes in first and Hecate comes out to meet her. It’s an immediate hair pulling contest in the middle of the ring, the pair of them trying to swing each other around. The guys might have more muscle, but with the gal’s it gets downright vicious.

While they are fighting I see Dusty Rhodes wandering around. He hasn’t taken part in the business since getting here, but the word is on the grapevine he is waiting for McMahon getting here so he can have some serious payback for the polka dot costume. Man, the Bionic Elbow. Worst big move ever, but the Big D just has so much charisma he could carry it off. The plumbers son who was just so sweet!

Meanwhile the fight has went outside the ring and all four women are tearing into each other. The Hail Mary’s are being tossed around like a salad by Chyna and Hel. After all they do hath the fury of a woman scorned, but Mary just isn’t staying down! She grabs a Mary by the hair and I can’t tell which one is which, smashes her face into the apron and then jumps back into the ring. Lucifer has no idea who the legal ma… woman in the ring is. I don’t think anyone does. It is chaos here, it is anarchy! He starts a ten count, but Mary gets back in by seven. She then tags in the other Mary. Wow, she is up to it tonight, doing handsprings over the to the other side of the ring, she wraps her legs around Chyna’s neck and OH MY GOD, IT’S A HURRICANRANA! THE VIRGIN MARY JUST HURRUCANRANAD CHYNA. SHE MUST HAVE BEEN FLIPPED SIX FEET UP IN THE AIR!

Once more Morgan Freeman’s voice answers me. It’s so damn hard to be an announcer in this place.

It must be the Virgin Mary who is in there, she runs into one rope, over the ring to the other and then on the return, puts an Immaculate Leg Drop right on Chyna’s head.

From there it is all over bar the counting.

We take a break for a pre-recorded promo spot. JC and his dad are being interviewed by Mean Gene. Mean Gene is asking what they think about all the smack talk Mohammad has been putting out there about JC, but it is God who replies “Well you know what Mean Gene, Mohammad has been telling everyone how he is going to nail my boy and how he is going to stomp all over the hearts of his Christomaniacs and bring them to Allah instead, well I gotta tell ya Mean Gene, I just ain’t impressed at all. And I have just one thing to say to Mohammad. He said to my boy to bring his best, to bring an ass whupping. Well Mean Gene I have to say just this one thing to Mohammad. He wants as ass whupping brought, the all I got to say is this.”

“ASK AND THY SHALL RECEIVE!”

Wow, he went full on there. Total reverb and everything. I felt the ground quaking beneath my feet. Some say that promo’s are a dying thing, but when you have a guy like this doing them… well that is one of the reasons I love this business so much.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Alex
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« Reply #31 on: February 03, 2018, 12:35:37 PM »

Part 4.

Its followed up with a flash back to how Jesus lost the hard core title. He was already to roll with the apocalypse, when Randy Savage turned up and challenged him to a match. Everywhere JC went the Macho Man was there, getting all up in his face, demanding an Apocalypse Match against him. Eventually after he set up a money lending business in one of JC’s temples. Well JC just lost it with him right there and then. First he cleared house and then the Macho Man got his match. I’ve got to say, it was a match for the ages. No rules, no holds barred. Two hours the pair of them battled back and forth, until finally Randy got him right in the throat with an elbow drop from the top rope and a great big “OOOOOOOHHHHH YYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” that was heard all over the heavens.

He then called out some of his old friends, Andre the Giant, S.D. Jones and Eddie Guerrero. I had thought Dunk the Clown was going to turn up, but it turns up that it was only his career that was dead. Anyway, between the four of them the slapped a leg lock, two arms bars and a sleeper hold on JC. They called it The Crucifixion and seriously nailed him with it. JC took it as long as he could, but eventually he submitted. As hard as he was no one could take that kind of punishment and not give up. He lost the match, the apocalypse didn’t happen and he lost the title. It has sat vacant since the Macho Man then disappeared.
Not seen the Macho Man around since then, but I have a feeling that if anyone tries to pull off the end of the world… Well he’ll be there waiting to stop them. Humanity’s ultimate defender.

Anyway, Jesus had a bit of a crisis of faith and disappeared from the scene for a few days. He missed a match the whole Holy Trinity was supposed to take part in and the clique kind of fell apart. Still three days later he came back and ever since he has been working towards another shot at the Hard Core Title. The management had been trying to move away from those kind of matches and be a bit more family friendly and he has had to put in a lot of effort to keep it going. Word is he can’t wait for Mick Foley to get up here so he can form a new tag team with someone just as crazy as he is.

How can you not love a guy like that? He got broken almost in half, and he took a few days, then got right back up and in there.

Back on to the next match. Last one before the big finally. We have Poseidon (finishing move Release The Kraken (I know, it makes no sense for a Greek deity to unleash something from Norse mythology, but who I am to argue with popular movies)) going up against King Midas (big move, the Hand of Gold). I guess we can expect a lot of classic moves from a pair of ancient Greek types.

The lower half of the arena is flooded to allow Poseidon his full range of moves, while Midas makes his way to the ring. I must say for a mortal, he seems remarkably confident about his chances against a god, who is not only more powerful but has a ton of experience in the ring. I know who my money is on.
Well there is enough water in the area now and Poseidon is coming in swimming all the way. Midas pretty much got a dead silence, but the crowd is roaring for the Lord of the Oceans. Wait, what’s this? Midas is putting on a blindfold. Seriously, Midas is going to take on a god blindfold! OH MY GOD!

Morgan Freeman says “Look, I am trying to enjoy a relaxing massage. Will you damn well stop calling on me!”

It is so hard being a ring side announcer in this business, but I love it despite the challenges.
« Last Edit: February 03, 2018, 01:44:29 PM by Dark Alex » Logged

But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Alex
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« Reply #32 on: February 03, 2018, 01:43:17 PM »

Part 5.

What the… All the lights just went out? That isn’t in the script. Oh wait, now they are coming back on and… MEDUSA (finishing move The Petrifier) IS IN THE RING! I GUESS SHE IS STILL p**sED AT POSEIDON! SHE IS TURNING HER GLARE ON POSEIDON AND THE GOD IS TURNING TO STONE! AND THE MATCH IS OVER BEFORE IT HAS EVEN BEGUN! I GUESS THESE TWO ARE GOING TO BE THE NEXT DOMINANT TAG TEAM! THEY ARE JUST GOING TO BE UNSTOPPABLE. ONLY HALF THE CROWD IS CHEERING AND THE OTHER HALF ARE NOW SO MANY STONE STATUES! THEY ARE IN THE RING, MIDAS IS TAKING OFF HIS BLINDFOLD WITH ONE HAND AND HIGH FIVING ME… Dusa with the other.

Oh.

They should have thought that one out a bit more.

Well it had the promise of being the perfect tag team up until that moment.

We had better wait for some gardeners to get here. I think if you want a garden gnome then there is going to be plenty material around now. Oh, and if anyone wants a golden statue, contact the station manager. Got to pay the bills around here somehow.

I’ve been in this game for millennia, but somehow every once in a while it still throws up something that surprises even me.

I think this last match is going to be the biggest one since all the top names were in a lumberjack match for who shape planets were to be. So many wanted flat I felt for sure that was going to be the winner. Believe it or not one of them was even going to be carried on the backs of four elephants which was then carried on a turtle.

These guys really don’t help themselves when we are trying to present pro-wrestling as a clean, drug free sport.

Came as a huge surprise to everyone when the Flying Spaghetti Monster came out of nowhere and won that one. Ever since then planets have had to be roughly round as a reminder of his noodly meatballs.

Man, when they were handing out gimmicks that guy really got shafted.

But crazy things like that get up are one of the reasons why you just got to love this business. I was speaking to the managers the other week. Ratings had been down, attendances all over the world were falling. I was starting to get a bit worried we might get cancelled.

And believe me in this business, you get cancelled you are going to need more than the Macho Man to save things. Maybe even have to Hogan in.

He took a draw on his big cigar and pointed downstairs. “Look my boy, they still love us. Look anywhere you want in the world and everyone is copying what we do up here. Don’t you worry.”

I guess he is right. Plus McMahon and Hogan both look ready to join us real soon and both of them know how to bring in the crowds, even if they do have massive ego issues.

I was wondering why the water hadn’t been drained when Jesus came out to the ring, chair in one hand and his pet lump of wood being carried over his other shoulder. He just walks right on top of that water like it was solid concrete and the crowd is going wild. He leaps into the ring like it was nothing, smiles at the crowd and waits. Then we have something special. The camera’s switch to a couple in the crowd. We can see them all on the Jumbotron screen. He gets down on one knee and proposes to his girl. Of course she says yes and the place just erupts. Jesus turns that million mega-watt smile on the crowd then reaches down, touches the water and turns it all to wine for the crowd to help them all celebrate. Whatta guy!
« Last Edit: February 03, 2018, 01:46:02 PM by Dark Alex » Logged

But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Alex
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« Reply #33 on: February 03, 2018, 02:10:39 PM »

Part 6.

I tell you, the problems we had promoting this fight was unbelievable. Every time we put posters up advertising it, Mohammad’s guys for some reason would go crazy about it and rip them back down. The things that guy can do in the ring though… it’s just else. I remember we were doing a gig in the Dome of the Rock, Mohammad went up to the top rope and pulled a Moonsault on God back when he was doing the Yahweh gimmick. He went so high the crowd called it ‘The ascent to heaven’. That is the kind of once in a career move that legends were made from! The camera’s hadn’t expected the move and went the wrong way, which helped the story when they lost tracking on him. People thought he had just jumped so high.

People forget the part where God rolled out of the way just as he landed, slapped an ankle lock on and secured a submission, it was the sheer guts of the move people remembered, not who won or even who was fighting.

Mohammad’s turn to come out was next. He didn’t go with his usual wailing music, instead for this event preferring “Eye of the Tiger” and the celestial chorus did it magnificently. The crowd were booing their heads off. Knowing how much Mohammad had been working the crowd for months, building their hate up to fever pitch for this match he must have been really appreciating that his hard work had paid off so well.

He climbed through the ropes to enter the ring, took a moment to bow to the crowd with a grin, then the bell rang and the fight began in earnest.

Man, I love this business!
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Alex
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« Reply #34 on: February 15, 2018, 01:56:37 AM »

A very short story from a friend.

Quote
Stomach: I’m hungry
Brain: What do you want?
Stomach: Candy?
Brain: 🤔Hmmmm
Stomach: Oh please, like you’re gonna say no... 🙄
Brain: Half off Valentines candy tomorrow!
Stomach: Don’t forget the wine! 🍷
Brain: Yay!! 🎉
Stomach: Chocolate creams! Chocolate creams! Chocolate creams!

And they all lived happily ever after!
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Trevor
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« Reply #35 on: February 21, 2018, 08:01:24 AM »

Still trying to finish my script for this:



Way back when, I offered everyone here roles in the movie, along with Sir Anthony Hopkins, Colin Farrell, Nick Frost and Neil McDonough.  Wink
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I know I can make it on my own if I try, but I'm searching for the Great Heart
To stand me by, underneath the African sky
A Great Heart to stand me by.
javakoala
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Does ANYBODY remember this guy?


WWW
« Reply #36 on: February 21, 2018, 06:04:09 PM »

Still trying to finish my script for this:



Way back when, I offered everyone here roles in the movie, along with Sir Anthony Hopkins, Colin Farrell, Nick Frost and Neil McDonough.  Wink

I simply refuse to share the same air as Colin Farrell. And I don't ski, so I must have three stunt doubles. Wait, that's six people, isn't it? Just fix it, dear, and don't forget my green M&Ms!!
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I feel more like I do now than I did a while ago.
ER
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The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #37 on: February 23, 2018, 03:19:30 PM »

A letter to a psychologist. Fun stuff!
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What does not kill me makes me stranger.
Alex
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« Reply #38 on: September 11, 2018, 01:46:33 PM »

Finally found this thread again, so I can post my stories in here instead. :) One of the stackers (Suppliers), read The Forsaken and asked if I had any more he could read so I went delving through the past to recover these ones for him.
« Last Edit: September 11, 2018, 02:00:57 PM by Dark Alex » Logged

But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Alex
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« Reply #39 on: September 11, 2018, 04:12:42 PM »

Figured since ER had written a story involving Scotland that I should do one too. Going to try something slightly different for my next story and do each chapter from a different person's perspective. And some of the people in the story (Bev, Jim, Alison and Chris) have the names (and some of the traits) of the people I've met in real life, although Jim is in the story because while we were at work he asked if he could be in one of my stories and have lots of sex. Paul is also based on someone else I know, but I'd to change the name as I didn't think his real name would fit into the story.

Cold Waters.
By Alex Corbett.


Prologue.

The bottom of the Loch was still. Little stirred down there in its depths, too cold and lightless for any life larger than the microscopic to survive according to modern science. Closer to the surface teemed with life, all manner of fish, although this part of the world was unusually remote and few would brave the journey to fish there when other, just as rich waters were more readily available.

It was exactly this that had brought those who dwelt below here in the first place, and the few who did come to this place seeking solitude would mysteriously go missing. They were careful to avoid the search parties though. Painful experiences had taught them to walk a careful line between stopping the curious tourists and attracting too much attention. A search party would eventually give up and go home, but if they vanished too then that would only bring greater and greater numbers seeking them.

They were careful also to ensure most of the bodies were found, although sometimes… well they were too badly damaged to pass off as some accidental death and questions would be asked about certain curious injuries. The dwellers below learned slowly and did not like change, but they lived a very, very long time compared to those who dwelt above and would eventually adapt.

Friday.

Simon.

“SIMON!”, the high-pitched voice wailed. Simon turned around to look at his girlfriend and sighed inside. There was no doubt that Bev was the most attractive woman in their class at university, and exactly the sort of woman a man like him should have on his arm, but man was she irritating. Simon was also aware that she had slept with most of her professors in order to keep her grades (barely) high enough to remain at college. Then again, he thought with a smile, when it came to sleeping around he was no slouch himself (and unlike Bev he had standards for who he’d sleep with, only the most attractive girls made it to his bed, although sometimes he’d slum it in an alleyway with a girl who didn’t quite meet his usual criteria). Any hey, what wasn’t to like? He was tall, sandy haired with sparkling blue eyes, a good set of muscles from playing rugby. handsome and of course never short of money. Women were practically jumping into bed with him in the hope they’d be the one to land him, that they would cure him of his bad boy ways. It was hardly his fault if they couldn’t see he had no interest in them beyond satisfying his basic urges. He had one more year to do at Uni, and then he’d be off to a job in the city, working for his dad. Immediately his thoughts started to turn to what he would do with all those desperate secretaries, his manhood starting to stir at the images running through his mind.

Bev’s wailing brought him back to reality. She’d put her foot in some soggy hole in the ground and was now wet almost all the way up to her knee. Adjusting his backpack slightly he walked back to help her up. Whose idea had it been anyway to come trekking through the wildest and most remote part of Scotland hiking? It had seemed like a good idea while they had all been high snorting Jim’s coke. Say what you like about the man’s personal life, he always knew where to score the best Charlie.

Simon sincerely hoped Jim had brought some with him. He was looking forward to getting high and naked with Bev under the stars. Otherwise the next time he saw Jim kissing Paul he’d punch him out after he’d finished throwing up at the sight of them. At private school Simon had experimented with that kind of thing (only ever giving of course) and a bit more after a game of rugger when the post-match games got out of hand, but that was hardly the same thing as what those two got up to.

How Jim and Paul were managing to walk hand in hand over this rough ground was beyond Simon. His muscular legs were tired from dragging his feet through the gorse. Did no one ever come out to this place and cut the damn grass back? The two men smiled at Simon as the caught up with him, and Simon flashed his killer smile back at them, keeping his disgust hidden inside as he had for the past three years. While other people’s attitudes had moved on about sexuality, Simon’s were still rooted firmly in the 1800’s. At least where other people were concerned.

The last two of the group finally caught up. Alison and Chris. They were most used to this kind of outdoors activity, and though his memories of that night were pretty hazy he had no doubt it was one of the pair who had suggested this trip. In his mind’s eye Simon compared Bev and Alison and imagined them both nude. Bev was tall and had (dyed) blonde hair with blue eyes that matched Simon’s, slim to the point of being boyish. Her body was nothing special, but her face was her fortune. Or at least it would be if she got her dream of becoming a model. With a snort Simon considered that she might want to get a boob and butt job. Even models had to have some curves after all. Alison, well she was almost as attractive as Bev (perhaps even more so if she ever cared to put on make-up and make a bit of an effort) but her figure certainly grabbed his attention. Bev had the body of a reversible ironing board, while Alison was voluptuous if a tad short. She was also one of the few women who had ever resisted his advances. Clearly either she was a dyke or just playing hard to get. She had a body that promised it was built for sin.

Perhaps if Jim had brought the right stuff, he could slip some Micky Finn’s into some drinks and have a threesome with Bev and Alison? He’d even let them have Chris if they wanted. Filthy degenerates.

Chris looked cheerful for a change. “Lovely day for a walk. I was a bit worried August would be too late in the year to be out here, but it is fantastic. Hardly a cloud in the sky. Suggest we walk on for another couple of hours, my map says there is a small village up ahead. Maybe it will have a pub where we can get a bite to eat and a pint.”

Bev was taking the chance during the break to redo her make-up. One of the things Simon liked about her is that no matter what she would always look her best. Compared to her Alison would always look a bit frumpy, although what she saw in Chris was beyond Simon. He was of average height and prematurely balding with a seemingly almost permanent hang dog expression only occasionally broken by a wan smile and a very self-depreciating sense of humour. As Chris spoke Alison cuddled up beside him, a wide smile on her face. Simon remembered something he’d done with crack cocaine and a pair of strippers. He was wondering if he could do the same with Alison and Bev.
« Last Edit: October 11, 2018, 06:35:24 AM by Dark Alex » Logged

But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Alex
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« Reply #40 on: September 11, 2018, 06:13:48 PM »

Simon's thoughts rarely wandered from sex or power. When something else occured to him, it invariably ended up with him thinking about how he could turn the situation into more sex. If he'd heard the term narcissistic sociopath he would be too self centred to realise he was one. He just knew everyone around him was in awe of him. After all without a doubt he was the most physically perfect and richest person they had ever met. Everything that was important in life he had and they were right to admire him. With one of his characteristic snorts, he thought how pathetic Chris, Paul and Jim must feel when he was around. He made sure he played up to this, letting them borrow his (very expensive naturally) PC to do their Uni projects on. Of course, this also made life easier for Simon as he could simply copy off the stuff they'd wrote on his machine.

After all, he had too much fun to be having to be wasting his time actually doing any work for his degree. Still it was time to get everyone moving on. And this village would no doubt have some very innocent country girls who would no doubt be dazzled by his big city ways and all too eager to please him. Those thoughts filled him with a new energy. He pinched Bev's bum receiving a stern look from her in return. He really was going to have to find an upgrade for her. Looking as good as she did, she'd never had to learn how to be good in bed to get a man and Simon was getting bored with her. "Ok, lets get a move on then and get to this pub, or we'll be cooking outside tonight."

"Leave my bum alone!" Bev protested, her high pitched voice grating on Simon's ears. He just turned his smile on her and winked and could see her melting. It really was all too easy.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Alex
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« Reply #41 on: September 12, 2018, 04:25:57 PM »

Alison

Taking Simon's lead to get everyone moving again Alison stood up straight, leaving the welcome warmth of Chris's body. The man was like a volcano. She could feel his body heat even through his jacket. Sometimes he was too warm to cuddle up to bed, but no doubt on this trip she'd find it very welcoming.

With a smile she thought about how they'd picked the perfect group for this trip. Sure Bev was a bit vapid, Simon was vain enough to have a Carly Simon song written about him, Jim had to have a good selection of drugs wherever he travelled (although that would come in useful she was sure), and Paul... well while she had other friends who were gay, Paul was GAY!!! and in bright lights. It was unusual to have a conversation about anything without him turning it into something about some other guys butt. He was fun and likable though. And of course she had Chris with her. Solid and dependable Chris. They'd been together for three years since not long after starting Uni together and once this year was over they'd return home together to spend the rest of their lives together. Sure he'd been with Bev for a few weeks before they had gotten together (and well what man hadn't been with Bev?), but they'd drifted apart quite quickly. She'd asked him once why he hadn't went further with her back then. In his usual droll sense of humour he'd said "Because I was crap in bed."

This was their last year as a group, the culmination of all the work. After this almost everyone would be separated and the chances are they'd never see each other again. It was important to have this trip before it was too late. She'd suggested the trip while everyone else was as high as a kite, and got them to book various parts online before anyone came down. Made it much easier to organise.

In many ways Alison was the glue that held the group together. Everyone else was very protective of her, even Simon. She seemed completely oblivious of her effect on men around her, either from those who wanted to protect her or those who wanted to have her. Whereas Bev's physical attractiveness could often put men off and make her seem unapproachable, Alison looked more of an earth mother type. Despite carrying a few extra pounds, she was used to the outdoors lifestyle and was coping with the walk much better than the other more physically fit members of the group (although her large bust was causing her some back pains on the long walk). Her dark hair was held back in a simple pony tail and she as usual wasn't wearing any make-up.

Staying together, she and Chris walked off, drifting off to one side for some privacy from the rest of the group, but not far enough to get seperated. It was important to her to keep everyone together for this trip.
« Last Edit: September 13, 2018, 09:19:40 AM by Dark Alex » Logged

But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
Alex
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« Reply #42 on: September 25, 2018, 03:16:40 PM »

It would give them something they could remember for the rest of their lives. A ridiculously happy grin split her face as she once more cuddled into Chris’s side and continued walking along through the deserted countryside.

Paul.
 

Jim by his side, Paul trailed along behind the others. Bev and Simon were directly up in front, while Alison and Chris had wandered off a bit. They made a cute couple, but so vanilla. Paul knew that if he got Chris away from Ali for a night, he could get a few drinks and open him up for a few new experiences. There wasn’t a man alive who could resist Paul once they’d been loosened up a bit and he loved to turn straight guys. That was how he’d ended up with Jim, although from what vague memories he had of that night the pair of them had been high on a cocktail of mind altering substances that night. Simon on the other hand didn’t interest Paul at all. He'd met guys like him before and he was pretty sure behind that uptight rich boy front, Simon had (at the very least) already dabbled in other men.

Pre-used goods really were not Paul’s thing.

It was a warm day and Paul was sweating uncomfortably beneath his layers of clothing. Wasn’t Scotland supposed to be permanently cold and wet? He’d spent three years at Stirling University and is had been windy and rainy almost every day. It would be too much to expect a hotel this far from civilisation, but surely, they could find a bed and breakfast. Paul was looking forward to having a shower. Even out here in the hinterlands he was sure people showered. The closest he’d been to this kind of outdoors was when he volunteered at the local dog pound, taking the residents out on walks to the park. Still he could appreciate the view. He was sure in the future he’d look back on this walk with fond memories. Just right now he was stuck with being here, minus the rose-tinted spectacles.

With a sigh that was a strange mixture of contentment and irritation Paul headed on. In the distance they could see a few buildings clinging to the shoreline of the lak… then corrected himself. Of course, north of the border it is a loch, with a guttural accent on the ‘ch’. He could hear Bev still wailing on about her wet foot. What a diva.

The village (although Paul thought perhaps the word hamlet might be more appropriate) was further away than it looked and it was evening before they arrived. He hadn’t seen anyone moving outside the houses, although a few lights flickered in some windows. Did they have electricity this far north, because the glow from the windows was not the steady light of an electric bulb or even the flickering lights of a television. The village was shaped in a ‘T’. The top bar were the houses facing out onto the… loch while a single street headed inland. Most of the shorefront houses looked to be bungalows with honest to god thatched roofs, although they looked in dire need of repair. He guessed there wouldn’t be much money in a remote rural community like this. It was amazing that it had survived this long. Perhaps he could do his final year thesis on how isolated villages like this remained in existence, and how much longer they could hope to survive. Walking along beside Jim, the essay was almost writing itself in his head.

As they reached the village twilight was just emerging. The road through the village was barely worthy of the title. It was dirt, covered in a loose gravel which in many places had sunk down into deep pot holes. Only a couple of houses they passed actually had cars outside and none of them looked like they were in working condition. Most of them were 70’s models if Paul was any judge. How the hell had this place survived? It wasn’t like there would be a Tesco’s within walking distance. The streets were bare of any lightning. Paul thought how he’d hate to be staggering home drunk along here.

He heard an excited squeal from Ali talking about how picturesque the place looked. Paul decided to reply with a quote from his favourite movie “I do not think that word means what you think it means.”
Ali scolded him “Oh, don’t be such a sour puss” she said putting on a pout. Paul just couldn’t keep a straight face when she did that. The group walked closely together, despite their differences bound in friendship.

As they approached the corner of the ‘T’ they could see one building larger than the rest, being properly three stories high. The lower floor was lit up and a swinging sign outside convinced the group it was a pub, although the paint on the sign has long since faded into illegibility. A light rain started up, and with the thought of a cold beer to cheer them up the group broke into a run for the pub, giggling and laughing.

Paul practically dragging Jim made it to the doors first. Dragging the somewhat stiff door partly open he jumped inside mockingly pretending that he’d hold it shut leaving the rest trapped outside. With a laugh he opened the door again, holding Jim’s hand as the pair of them walked into the bar.

Inside the bar, was gloomily lit. Low wattage bulbs fittings had been mounted on the walls, although more than half of them seemed to be dead. The bar was a large open area, but only half a dozen patrons were present, most of them hunched over the table, wearing clothes typical of fishermen. Although they were inside most of them had their waterproof jackets hoods up over their heads.

The barman was a brute of a fellow. His jumper was straining to contain his broad shoulders, while his face was pallid. His eyes seemed disturbingly far apart and his thick lipped mouth unusually wide. Greasy, lank hair hung down past his shoulders. He looked over at Jim and Paul pointed one dirty finger at them, and in a somewhat liquid voice said “Your kind ain’t welcome here!”
« Last Edit: September 25, 2018, 06:28:05 PM by Dark Alex » Logged

But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
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The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)


« Reply #43 on: September 25, 2018, 07:44:53 PM »

Nice to see you writing again, Alex. I enjoyed that. Keep it up! Cheers
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« Reply #44 on: September 27, 2018, 03:54:45 AM »

While initially taken aback, Paul had heard this kind of thing before and wasn’t about to put up with it after a long day hiking over the hills. He stepped forward ready for a shouting match with this ogrish looking fellow, when Chris pushed past him. Ali put her hands gently on Paul’s shoulders and standing on tiptoes to reach his ear whispered “Let Chris deal with it. You know he is good at dealing with idiots like this guy.”

Indeed, during their years as friends Chris was always the one who could step into a situation and defuse it before it got out of hand. He walked over to the bar and motioned with one hand behind his back for the others to move to a table. Ali carefully guided Paul to an empty table knowing just how angry he’d be feeling, and not wanting him to suddenly leap into action on the barman. He looked like he outweighed Paul by at least twice. Chris was speaking earnestly to him, but the others couldn’t hear what was being said between them.

When Chris re-joined the others, he had his usual hangdog smile and a tray of pints.

“Don’t worry guys and girls, it was all just a slight misunderstanding.”

“Chris, the guy told me gays aren’t welcome.”

Chris laughed a little. “No mate, it’s not gays that aren’t welcome. He doesn’t like any strangers in the bar. The fact you are gay has nothing to do with it. He just doesn’t like our faces. I talked him into letting us stay for a few drinks, but I don’t think we should ask about rooms for the night. Looks like we’ll be camping outside.”

“He doesn’t like our faces” huffed Bev. “Has he had a look in the mirror ever?”

“Bae, he is just jealous. He is never going to get a woman like you and he knows it.”

Bev relaxed, slightly mollified by the thought of making men jealous.
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But do you understand That none of this will matter Nothing can take your pain away
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