Dark Alex's Really Long Post Thread.

[Alex]

Manage to shut my thumb in a door today and dislocate it. Think I put it back in place correctly. Luckily Kristi wasn't there to see it, but it had been pushed back down my hand and the skin was all folded up around it like some Elizabethan nobles collar only not as fashionable. She did wonder why there was a stream of cuss words coming from me in the utility room though.

My sister in law and two of her kids dropped in today. Always good to see them. I was donating blood today, and she was kind enough to give me a lift to the town hall.

Getting increasingly hard to answer their questions about where the blood comes from. Maybe I should try giving some of my own instead of someone elses.

[Alex]

Well this morning involved much less puke, pee and poop than yesterday. That has to be a good start. Or at least a better one than yesterday. Fed Ash and Dagon. With people visiting last night he (Ash) ended up being up later than usual and the more tired he gets the harder it becomes to get him to go to sleep.

Gets that from his mum.

He is starting to learn how to hold his bottle, although I am not sure that isn’t just an extension of him gripping onto anything that comes in range of his tiny hands and not letting go.

Yeah, that one he gets from me.

The news is full of Germany being kicked out of the World Cup. Many predictable jokes about how they got the same result the last time they went into Russia. Of course, having defeated Panama and Tunisia football pundits and fans are declaring that England are going to win the cup.

On the grand scale of things, beating those nations at football is the equivalent of beating Steve Wonder at golf I am told and is not really a sign of imminent world domination.

Got Ash’s second round of immunisations to go for today. Hopefully he’ll find them less painful than last time.

Topics of conversation at work today have included a TV show where someone admitted to improvising a condom out of a chocolate bar wrapper. I am slightly familiar with the brand of chocolate in question and while I have never tried, I am pretty sure girth wise I wouldn’t be able to fit inside one of them, never mind it not being long enough. Bravo to the man for being brave enough to admit to have a tiny manhood on national TV though.

[Alex]

Decided to put in for a days leave and have tomorrow off. Going up to Inverness tomorrow with Kristi and Ash. She needs to get some biometrics done for her latest visa. You'd think the £2300 we'd to spend on it would be enough.

Went along to the theatre club with Kristi tonight. It is more Kristi's thing that mine but she has gotten into all of my hobbies so I have been looking for something of hers I could get into and this was it. We read a couple of comedies and they seemed to think I had previous experience of acting. Well, that depends if you include my school play when I was 11 and played Mr Nasty.

Found out this week that one of my bosses for a while on a detachment had to work in Area 51. He didn't see any aliens or flying saucers, but they did bus them out every Friday and they couldn't come back until Sunday night so I figure that is when they let the little green men out for a walk. Mind you Area 51 is exactly the kind of place I would come up with if I wanted to keep aliens secret. I'd have a top secret facility somewhere else and make some false stories up about 51 and then let that get all the public attention while my nefarious deeds went unnoticed somewhere else entirely unexpected.

I suspect Trevor's underpants drawer opperates on a similar sort of scheme.

Read a book to Ash tonight. It is one I loved as a kid called Smoke & Fluff. Don't know how long it has been out of print, but tracked a copy down on ebay while Kristi was still pregnant. After that I have been teaching him how to stick out his tongue and make rude noises. He is a quick study. :)

[indianasmith]

You need to get him a book called PARTS.

Trust me on this.  It was my girls' favorite kids book!

[Alex]

I will look out for it Indy.

Went out with the family to Inverness. Saw a game I'd been wanting to pick up for a while (Firefly Adventures: Brigands & Browncoats). Its from the same company that did the the Firefly boardgame where you fly about completing missions. This one is actually doing missions on planets. The first one is a lot of fun to play so I have high hopes for this one.

I'd gotten up just after three to feed Ash. The clouds where heavy and gray, and looked like a big storm was incoming, but it passed peacefully. Something I was quite glad for.

One of the groups I am a member of is all about WW2 wargaming. Another member asked for some photos of peoples Italian armies to inspire him to paint up his own. I went to get mine out for a photo.

What do you know, they'd ran away!

Still painting up German big gun crews atm. Wanted to pick up some British paratroopers, but Firefly won out.

[Alex]

On our intranet page at work they were asking for people to complete a communications survey.

Fair enough. No problems there.

The survey went live on the 22nd of June, but only today (3rd of July) did they notify anyone. Oh, and it closes on the 6th of July.

Best of all, when you complete the second page of questions there is no button to press to go onto the third page of questions.

Says it all really.

[Trevor]

I suspect Trevor's underpants drawer opperates on a similar sort of scheme.

 

I have a vending machine stocked with pre-used undies. 

[Alex]

Got a message from Kristi while I was at work. Despite it being a text message she still managed to convey a sense of panic.

Apparantly Dagon had brought home a mouse. Kristi was wondering how to rescue it and my replies, well I was more concerned about having a rodent lying somewhere in the house if she didn't let him finish it off rather than having something bleeding on the carpet or kindly sharing any parasites with us. Anyway, she didn't want to deal with it herself so since he had ran into the dining room with it. She managed to chase him outside and I told her to shut the internal doors, leave open the patio door and if the mouse was capable of escaping it could make its way outside. If not, well Dagon would come back in and finish it.

Pfft. Come back and tell me about womens lib when you can deal with your own spiders in the bath and dead creatures lying around. :P (The women who can do that can have the vote, equal pay and all the other good stuff).

There is a week long Seafest thing going on. Tonight was a families night so we went along for it. Ash slept through the very loud music, which since it was K-Pop I was quite in agreement with him on.

Ever seen a picture of Reese Witherspoon? Apparantly many people have. The big question is though, have you ever seen a picture of Reese Withoutherspoon?

[Alex]

17 years in one job. Wow. Before I joined it, I'd never worked for a single employer for more that six months. Only intended doing 12, maybe 15 years tops. But then the pension started calling to me and well, here I am.

Since it was a hot day today I decided to pick up mini ice creams for everyone in the office (a handy trick I picked up from watching Dexter). I'd also taken in a cake Kristi had baked. Shona complained that people had left crumbs from it and demanded that I clean then up.

If anyone else had asked then I might have. I am looking forward to September and her leaving. I guess it is a sign of your popularity in a section though when you have to plan your own leaving do because no one else is interested in doing it for you. Certainly not one I plan on attending. Did have the neighbours round for a BBQ tonight though so I am not being totally unsociable. Seem like a nice enough couple with three young kids. As per usual, Kristi cooked way too much food. Don't get the idea that I am complaining though. I love that she likes to make sure everyone goes home fed.
Turns out the husband is into the same sort of (board) games as we are, so hopefully we'll get a few games with them.

My knee is swollen up like a balloon. Getting around is ok unless I have to go up or downstairs. Ah the joys of gout. The warmer weather we are having helps though.

Happy fourth of July to all my American friends and family.

[Trevor]

17 years in one job. Wow.

In 2019, I celebrate 30 years in the same job. 

[Alex]

My life seems to have become some sort of scoreboard, where both Ash and Dagon score points by being sick, pooping or peeing, or alternatively demanding to be fed. I am not sure what the rules are, how to play this game or who is winning.

One thing I am pretty damn sure of though is that I am losing at it.

I seem to be constantly convinced I have an appointment somewhere else, or something I need to go and do, but I’ll be damned if I know what these days. At work it’s not so bad. I don’t have to remember things. I have postits that remember things for me. Not so easy at home where I just can’t cover every available surface in little yellow squares of paper. Well, not unless I really want to wind Kristi up.

*Makes mental note to redecorate the house in postits at some future point*

Very overcast this morning when I left the house. Thought we might even get a bit of rain, but the clouds have cleared leaving a glorious blue sky once again. Yesterday when I looked out the south window it was heavy grey clouds portending a storm while out the west window it was a fantastic looking sunny day (this is not unusual for dramatically different weathers to be visible out our windows and you have to actually go outside to see what is happening).

Also screw the north window for making false promises. I like a good storm now and again. As long as it has thunder and lightning anyway. Those three months we had a couple of years back where it was just constant gale force winds the whole time are less enjoyable. Plus it isn’t as interesting to watch people playing golf without the whole lightning thing going on.

Ash managed to do a fart so loud it frightened the cat who fled out the room. Kristi happened to take a picture of his expression (Ash’s) at just the right moment.

The potential new front-rank fighter for the group has created his character. Having an Assimar* Paladin in the group shouldn’t change the dynamic too much, but we shall see.

*Basically he is half angel.

[Trevor]

Ash managed to do a fart so loud it frightened the cat who fled out the room. Kristi happened to take a picture of his expression (Ash’s) at just the right moment.

 

I once made a noise near our brood of feral cats: one of them got such a scare, it knocked itself stiff on the security bars. 

[316zombie]

1- i freely admit to severe arachnophobia, since i was bitten by a brown recluse an have the scar to prove it. BUT, i deserve equal pay etc. because the MEN i've worked with can't handle emptying the critter traps, that's always MY job.
2-you know i love kristi like a sister right? but like my baby sister, if you ever come visit, PLEASE give me 24 hours to get rid of the postits, they control my life for me.
3-cool to hear you have neighbors you could be friends with! not buttheads like our paquita's neighbors!

[Alex]

Had a chat with my older brother yesterday. Only the second one since I told him if he didn’t watch what he was saying about immigrants he wouldn’t have a place in my life. He is going to be home next month and will drop in for a visit. I’ve suggested we go out for a few drinks together when he is back. More because there is stuff me and him need to talk about reference one of our uncles who died last year.

Hmm, Chris Pratt has tweeted that he is practising saying “Hello there”, in preparation for a role. I really can’t see him playing the first character that comes to mind from that. Think I’ll file that under practical jokes.

Terry bought us all bacon rolls this morning and Shona bought everyone a drink from the Combined Operations Strategic / Tactical Annex as well as bringing in a cake. It was her birthday and with getting the posting she wants she is almost approaching what could potentially one day develop into being in a good mood.

Ooops, spoke too soon. She is complaining about her own cake.

Another grass fire up at Hopeman. Makes 4 this week plus one in Lossiemouth itself. Our fire service guys have been sent to help out so it must be fairly serious.

One of the chiefs was trying to wind me up. He used to work beside my older brother and was slagging him off. I just nodded and agreed with everything he said. Could see him getting quite wound up that I just wasn’t reacting. Besides Jim is big enough to look after himself there. I’ll mention to him the next time I see him, and if he bumps into the guy when he gets back I am sure Jim won’t be shy about speaking to him about it.

[Alex]

So this week we have our annual Seafest going on in Lossiemouth.

Every year I keep hoping for a heavy fog to come rolling in filled with undead pirates out for revenge. Every year has been a disappointment so far, but there is always next year.

We went down to the harbour front for the last day today. On the way Kristi informed me of all the things she'd do with the life insurance money if something unfortunate and... accidental were to happen to me.

I am going to be checking my drinks for ground glass and the bed for poisonous creatures under the bedsheets before getting in I guess.

Got more to write, but I need to go do stuff for tomorrow nights game.