Dark Alex's Really Long Post Thread.

[316zombie]

you're a really good husband& daddy, you know that?   

[Alex]

Kristi might disagree with that the nights she comes to bed and finds I am somehow spreadh out all over it and she can't get into bed with me.

[Trevor]

Had to go get some bloods taken from the med centre on camp for a hospital appointment next week. Not the most skilled nurse I’ve ever had. Damn thing stung like a stingy thing going in and hurt the whole time it was in, whereas normally I just feel it going in and nothing more.

When I gave blood a few years ago, there was this stupid woman (I hate to use those words together) who thought that the blood wasn't flowing correctly, so she raised my arm. With the needle still in it! 

[Alex]

Ouch, you have my sympathy. I can feel that pain.

[Alex]

A barbarian and his friend walk into an inn, head up to the bar and order a couple of drinks. Just as they have been served a particularly ancient hobbit bumps into them and spills their drinks. Turning around to face the pair he growls angrily at the pair and tells them to watch where they stand.

The barbarian is quite upset about the loss of his ale and proceeds to teach the old hobbit a lesson by giving him a good pummeling with his fists.

After this his friend orders another couple of drinks, but sure enough the decrepit hobbit gets up and knocks the drinks over again, once more telling the pair to get out of his way.

Losing control the barbarian flies into a frenzy and starts throwing the old fellow all over the inn, breaking chairs and tables and scattering the other patrons. Finally, he throws the hobbit out the window, wipes the blood from his knuckles and returns to the bar to order a third round of drinks.

Just as the rim of the glass touches his lips, he gets pushed from behind and knocks his drink over. Turning around, there once again is this troublesome hobbit. Having had enough the barbarian pulls out his axe and with a single blow cuts the hobbit in half. As both halves of his body fell in different directions. The barbarian turned back around and after ordering another drink finally gets to taste some ale.

His companion looked at him with a quizzical expression on his face "Ragnar, that was one old man and it has taken you the entire length of this joke to kill him. What is going on?"

Ragnar wiped the foamy ale from his beard, shrugged his mighty shoulders and relied "You know what they say, old hobbits die hard."

[ER]

A barbarian and his friend walk into an inn, head up to the bar and order a couple of drinks. Just as they have been served a particularly ancient hobbit bumps into them and spills their drinks. Turning around to face the pair he growls angrily at the pair and tells them to watch where they stand.

The barbarian is quite upset about the loss of his ale and proceeds to teach the old hobbit a lesson by giving him a good pummeling with his fists.

After this his friend orders another couple of drinks, but sure enough the decrepit hobbit gets up and knocks the drinks over again, once more telling the pair to get out of his way.

Losing control the barbarian flies into a frenzy and starts throwing the old fellow all over the inn, breaking chairs and tables and scattering the other patrons. Finally, he throws the hobbit out the window, wipes the blood from his knuckles and returns to the bar to order a third round of drinks.

Just as the rim of the glass touches his lips, he gets pushed from behind and knocks his drink over. Turning around, there once again is this troublesome hobbit. Having had enough the barbarian pulls out his axe and with a single blow cuts the hobbit in half. As both halves of his body fell in different directions. The barbarian turned back around and after ordering another drink finally gets to taste some ale.

His companion looked at him with a quizzical expression on his face "Ragnar, that was one old man and it has taken you the entire length of this joke to kill him. What is going on?"

Ragnar wiped the foamy ale from his beard, shrugged his mighty shoulders and relied "You know what they say, old hobbits die hard."

"It's funny because it's true."

[Alex]

So today me and Ash travelled down to my mums. The trip was uneventful, although there was something I noticed when I was switching trains. I had two backpacks, plus Ash on a carrier on my chest and I was carrying his car seat. Whenever I went to change trains guys round about would offer to help me carry my stuff off the train and were asking if I needed any help and so on. The women however would just squeeze past without a word, often even getting in my way. I may have to remember that in the future when I see women struggling with loads of luggage.

[Alex]

Started buying weapons from a guy called T-Rex.

He is a small arms dealer.

[Trevor]

Started buying weapons from a guy called T-Rex.

He is a small arms dealer.

 

Best pun I've heard all year 

[Alex]

Spent the day collecting money for veteran's charities in Glasgow. After I'd finished I popped into what has became my new regular D&D type shop.

Not as good as the Dragon & George was though.

On the plus side they did have a copy of 3rd ed Twilight Imperium for £50 so I picked that up. Its a game I've wanted for years. All I need now is a spare 8 to 10 hours to play it.

Fancying the new Predator movie. I have high hopes for it, although I guess I am pinning a lot on the involvement of Shane Black. He's done some good scripts over the years, but I have no idea how he is as a director.

Ever noticed how quickly someone face changes colour when they are being choked? It takes a few seconds to start, but you can see them changing colour as they go red, then get darker going through crimson and onto purple. Never had to take someone beyond purple. My point is generally made by that time. Not that I have often found myself in that position (and certainly not now for many years and may it stay that way), but now and again... I remember the first time someone tried to strangle me. I was 14 at the time. Some guy had randomly tried to start a fight with me and when I punched him out, his dad came running out the house and went to drag me over to my mum's house. He spat on me as he did so I spat back on him, he then grabbed me by the throat and started trying to strangle me. I clamped my hands on his throat in return and very quickly he realised he was going to run out of air before I did. My neck was pretty heavily muscled and I was in damn good shape from running six hours five days a week, while he has somewhere north of 50, overweight and a heavy smoker. I watched as his eyes started to bulge outwards and his face changed colour determined that he would let go before I did.

Funnily enough I did win. He let go and ran back inside his house. He never tried coming up to my house to complain to my mother, or call the police or anything. I did hear some months later that he'd had a bad trip on some drugs and jumped out of his bedroom window claiming he was Batman. Not sure which type he'd been doing. Neither him or his kids tried bothering me again though and always stayed out of my way after that. Thinking back over the years it is amazing to me now how much I had to fight just to be left alone. Joys of refusing to join the local gang (the Hayocks Firm), along with just not liking people I guess. Society of any kind seems to have a real problem with those who just don't want to belong. Or maybe just couldn't fit in with even if I wanted to lol.

[Alex]

Ash has been crying in the middle of the night when he is hungry. He doesn't actually wake up, he just cries until I put a bottle in his sleeping mouth which he will then suck on (still sleeping). Went out with the family to Irvine today and had to go catch up on sleep when I got home. Paid for Kristi's big xmas present today as well as picking her up some other little ones. I'd say what they are but since she now lurks around here a bit more I'll have to keep quiet on what they are.

And no dear, you can't give me presents early no matter how excited you are about them. No, not even one.

Return of the Jedi is on TV. In some ways its my favourite one, partly down to it being the first one I got to see at the cinema. It took me until some years after that before I got to see Empire Strikes Back.

Ash is sleeping on the couch beside my mum. Possibly I should have woken him up earlier so he'd go to sleep at his regular bed time, but I figure he has had a lot of disturbance to his regular sleep schedule so I'll let him sleep until he decides to wake up himself and tomorrow since I am not going out I can start getting him back on track.

Watching an old episode of Tales Of The Darkside. Damn that was one badly acted show.

Decided I am going to open my house to strangers who want to pop around and play games of Dungeons & Dragons. For a fee they can stay a few days and play lots of D&D. Going to call it AirD&D.

[Alex]

I was thinking about part of the night Tanya seduced me all those years ago. She asked me what flying in a jet fighter was like (got no idea, never flown in one), but I saw no reason to point that out and told her, well it is a lot like sex. First you have to grab the joystick and make sure that the action is firm and stiff, check the flaps are in the right position and then apply a healthy amount of thrust and enjoy the ride until you come into land. There may have been other things in there, too but that is the gist of the conversation.

Anyway, remember that image the next time you get in an aeroplane. I am sure it will help.

Ash slept in his grannies room last night. Apparently he didn't wake up once, sleeping straight through until 07:00. Cheers for that kid, apparently shouting in the middle of the night is reserved for when he is sleeping in my room.

I could do with a shave, but that would involve activity above just sitting down and I am not sure I am ready for that quite yet lol. I have been out loads over the past few days, head home tomorrow so today the plan is to sit and relax, work on some stats for creatures for the next D&D session and of course deal with Ash.

Or well rather, most of whay I'll be doing is dealing with Ash with fitting in other stuff in between.

[Alex]

And back home again.

Had a pretty quiet trip back home. Ash made everyone he encountered fall in love with his smile. Kristi is just giving him a bath and then I am going to have one myself and a shave. I always feel refreshed after a shave.

It is good to be back home, with my loving wife and a cat who tolerates me.

Listening to someone reading Jaws on the radio just now. The film has a much better ending than the book, although the body count is slightly higher in the book. Oh, and the mayor is in bed with the mafia and Ellen Brodie is a slut.

When I went to go into Queens Street Station there was a line of (what looked like) Chinese women blocking the way into the train station. It isn't a narrow enterance, but they had taken it on themselves just to stand there and block anyone from getting in or out. I think I gave them a bit of a shock when I just started walking towards them and didn't stop, finally barging them out of my way when they decided just to stand there.

Still can't decide what hair colour Ash has. Some times he looks blonde haired, other times reddish or perhaps brown.

My younger brother went in for an operation to stop him snoring today. Pretty much wears a nose bag now. Ah, the mockery he is going to have to endure. 

[316zombie]

let me know what you think of the new predator movie, please. i didn't like any of the previous ones, BUT, shamier anderson is in this one. he's the guy who played agent dolls on wynonna earp, i'm heartbroken to lose that character! but of course i wish him all the best, and will follow his career as much as i can.

[Alex]

If I get to see it I will do Barri, although I enjoyed the other Predator movies so you might not agree with my opinion on it.

A Tuesday morning to start the working week. It is unusually peaceful and quie… oh wait Shona isn’t here anymore.

And there was much rejoicing.

Considering submitting some of my short stories to a publisher, although I think I’d have to write enough for a collection to justify that. On the other hand, it took a lot of effort to actually just let the people on here read my stories, never mind sending them off into the ether to some total stranger. Although having let the BDMO’ers read them I am not sure how much stranger any other people could be. :P

Jim thinks I should add a brothel scene into The Forsaken and make it take up several dozen pages. I could do that, but I am not sure about that. While I can write some pretty steamy stuff, I am not sure it fits in with that particular tale.

He is a lad of simple tastes is our Jim.

I think I need to start assigning nicknames to the Jim’s I know. I think I now know more Jim’s than Dave’s and the Dave’s all have their own nicknames so I can remember which one is which.

Kristi managed to double book my evening. She arranged to do a D&D game tomorrow instead of Sunday and then invited a friend around for dinner (Vicky the PSF lass). Since I was unable to reschedule the game I am going to have to run part of it without Kristi and she can join in once Vicky has left.

Maybe I should see if I can get Vicky to join in the game. She is quite a geeky person herself.

Taking a break from going through a bunch of spreadsheets and confirming data on them. This is the glamorous stuff I signed up for. Mind you, it beats the hell out of being under rocket attack or fired on by a sniper I guess.

Didn’t do much deep sleeping last night and feeling it a little today. I think I need some cheap ass horror movies tonight to perk me up.

Oh bugger, I have that game to run, and I need to sort out some stats for a fist fight and check over the unarmed combat rules before then.

Oh hum.

Mind you, it is entirely possible the party will end up spending an entire session trying to resurrect Nigel. It’s not like they don’t have a track record on that subject, even though they will encounter someone who may be willing to carry out a freebie for the group.

Got a couple of crap jobs to do today (one of which I am currently working my way through). Ryan wanted to leave them for the night shift, but I pointed out there were two crap jobs needing done, there were two of us and we had nothing else on so we might as well do them rather than sit around doing nothing.

Wow, I just read that back. Not only did I freely go and do work that I could have palmed off on someone else, but I made someone else do work too. Better have a look out the window and check something…

Nope, the four horsemen are not out riding. I must still be asleep and just dreaming this then I guess. Only reasonable explanation.

Wonder what ever happened the Daphne the Goth Goddess from WCW? Damn, she had an annoying scream. She was pretty hot when she wasn’t screeching. Or hanging about with David Flair.