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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Other Topics  |  Off Topic Discussion  |  I think I'm being harassed « previous next »
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Author Topic: I think I'm being harassed  (Read 5686 times)
Paquita
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« on: June 19, 2018, 02:18:31 PM »

I think we’re being passively harassed and I don’t know what to do about it other than be super mad.  We moved to the suburbs 2 years ago after living our entire lives in Chicago.  Lots of reasons went into it, but mostly I wanted to get out of the dirty crowded city and into a place where we were closer to nature and farther from people.. I don’t think we went far enough.   I hoped it would be like The ‘Burbs with a metalhead down the block, a crazy militant dude across the street, and a chubby mischievous neighbor, and we would probably be the Klopeks.  But I kind of knew we were going to get a bunch of Walters and stay at home moms.  I just didn’t realize the depths these bored, stuffy, snobby, pampered a-holes would go to try to make us feel like the neighborhood trash.  Thankfully, our next-door neighbors are great.  They’re no Art, but they’re friendly, have kids and dogs and common sense and watch our daughter while we work.  I don’t think they have a problem with us.

I think it’s the neighbors across the street that have a vendetta against us.  We have trees and they don’t.. so they have complained that our leaves blow onto their lawn and they have to clean them up.  We had some family over for 4th of July last year and they brought fireworks.. the police were called on us, but didn’t do anything.  The next afternoon, the across the street neighbors were pounding on our door to complain about the teensy paper bits that were on their lawn and in their pool (ugh).  Even though my family cleaned up before they left and my husband was up before 6am cleaning up whatever they didn’t get, only leaving behind the tiny scraps that couldn’t be raked or swept.  After their friendly visit, he spent the next 2 hours in 90+ degree weather meticulously going through their lawn pinching up little bits of paper that would probably have dissolved in the next morning’s dew.

Today I found a Legal Notice from Animal Control on my door.  Someone had complained that our 2 dogs were being neglected and left out in the heat.  Our house central AC that is on all day all summer and we have a DOGGIE DOOR!  They go in and out as they please and have access to a giant tank of water all day.  Most of our neighbors, even the ones that don’t care for us, are aware that we have a doggie door, so I am perplexed as to why they would call animal control other than to just harass us.  I really doubt a random passer-by would be that concerned and I'm sure the dogs weren't laying on their sides panting in the heat.  We’re not in a very conspicuous area.  I got a phone call from another neighbor during the winter because she thought my dog was stuck out in the cold even though she said she knew we had a doggie door.  Thankfully, I was home that time and told her that she was fine, but would bring her in.  The dog is a Newfoundland and she loves the cold, there was nothing wrong.

 I’m guessing there are a million other things these neighbors have against us that I am just not aware of.  I can’t imagine what they could be though.. we keep to ourselves, don’t make a whole lot of noise.  The only thing I can think of is that we don’t have award winning landscaping (they don’t either, they just have a tiny lawn and a few shrubs), but I also don’t think our place is necessarily an eyesore.  When we moved, we were informed by a few neighbors that the previous owner neglected the landscaping for years…  I don’t really think he did that bad of a job considering the space.  We are on a corner lot so we have twice as much, if not more, lawn and landscaping than most homes in the area.  Plus a crap ton of trees, which I really like.  We can’t find affordable/reliable professional landscapers to come out on a regular basis and we work full time jobs so we don’t really have a whole lot of time and energy to devote to lawn maintenance.  My husband will spend an entire Saturday every 2-3 weeks mowing or raking depending on the season, and literally fills 20+ lawn bags every time.  I like gardening, but sorry, we’ve often got better and more important things to do on the 2 days a week that we have off.

I don’t know if there’s anything I can do... what would you guys do?  I really want to go over there and give them a real reason to hate me, but I don’t think that would make my family’s life all that much better.  I’m really seething right now though.. I was in a bit of a shaking rage and almost fell down the stairs after reading this legal notice and at 35+ weeks pregnant, that wouldn’t have been good.  I’m going to be home for the next few months and really don’t want to feel like my every movement is under a microscope.  I think the next step would be for them to call DCFS on me because my baby is crying.  I just want them to go away.

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RCMerchant
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« Reply #1 on: June 19, 2018, 02:43:21 PM »

Laugh at them. (Or kill them.)
Just laugh at 'em. Your leaves on there lawn is bulls**t if I ever heard it. I have a huge yard and my leaves blow all over the place.
The neighbors got big trees too. My trees are on the edge of therye property. BIG Trees! Oak tress. I don't like my neighbors at all.  They didn't like it when me and Tiana first moved in. They b***hed about the leaves at first. I told them "f**k you. I ain't gonna rake your lawn."
I didn't b***h whenever we get a high wind and they're trampoline hits my house or they're kiddie pool broke my window.
There are gonna be a***oles no matter where you go. City, burbs, country ( I live in a very tiny town in the country.)
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Alex
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« Reply #2 on: June 19, 2018, 03:42:04 PM »

After I joined up my mum got a new neighbour who tried pulling a load of this kind of crap. One day she came to the door and my uncle (who is fairly big guy) happened to be there. He gave her a mouthful, told her where to go to and she never came back to our house although she did continue to harrass other neighbours.

You could always try playing them at their own game and start making complaints about them. A better option would be if there is someone you could see about these complaints against you and take some action against them, although that does rely on you being able to prove it is them.

Can't help but think it is pretty disgraceful that anyone would do this to a heavily pregnant woman.
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316zombie
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« Reply #3 on: June 19, 2018, 06:16:00 PM »

a flock of plastic pink flamingoes right along the edge of the lawn is still THE finest revenge i've ever heard of, and it WORKED. my friend's butthead neighbors  couldn't do a thing about it, the rest of the neighborhood thought they were a hoot, and the jerks finally BEGGED her to get rid of them.
  she got a promise in writing that they would stop harrassing ALL the neighbors, so she put them i in the garage. they were very visible every time the garage was open, as a not so subtle reminder, lol! and she still has them. Cheers
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dean
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« Reply #4 on: June 19, 2018, 08:43:27 PM »


Look up local law; is there any laws regarding leaves and trees? I find it hard to believe that you would be responsible for the leaves of your trees on a property ACROSS THE STREET. Though it's generally stated here that if it's on your property its your mess to clean up, good neighbourly practice is to make sure your trees don't overhang onto next door properties (not an issue here) to help avoid the issue.

My question would be: if you had, say a lemon tree, and some branches hung over their property would they demand that you take your lemons back or say 'it's on my property, it's mine.' If its the latter than the leaves are theirs too ;)
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« Reply #5 on: June 19, 2018, 09:16:53 PM »

I was skateboarding at the school across the street and a woman called the cops on me because I was blocking the sidewalk! there was the entire empty street her and her two kids could have walked on or she could have just said excuse me, instead she called the police. I'm 43 and have lived in this town my whole life.


people in the suburbs are annoying and pay a fortune for a decent school system and are full of hate.

what would it take for you to call animal control or the police on a neighbor? something that was a big deal right? but then you don't view police and non new money/ gentrification townsfolk as servants
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Pacman000
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« Reply #6 on: June 19, 2018, 10:54:28 PM »

A lot of cities have been passing laws prohibiting people from keeping pets outdoors in hot or cold weather. Chicago has: http://www.chicagotribune.com/ct-illinois-pets-outside-law-met-0527-20150526-story.html

We had a dog which lived outside 15-16 years through 20 degree winters & 100 degree summers, so I don't agree with said laws; it's like they've decided to ignore the way dogs have lived for the past 10,000 years for a human cultural change which took place in the past 20 years. Some dogs like the outdoors, even when it's cold: https://pethelpful.com/dogs/is-it-okay-to-keep-a-dog-outside

As for your problem... I don't know. I'd hate to have my life dictated by Ms Kravitz. Keeping the dogs in would keep animal control off your back, but it might drive both you & the dogs crazy. Does she have pictures of the dogs outside without you?
« Last Edit: June 19, 2018, 11:12:10 PM by Pacman000 » Logged
Paquita
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« Reply #7 on: June 20, 2018, 09:58:17 AM »

Thanks all.  I wish you all were my neighbors!  The leaves on the lawn thing wasn't a formal complaint to the city.  That was a complaint made to my husband in passing.  They are petty a-holes.  They haven't said anything to me personally yet, and I hope it stays that way because I don't really know what would come out of my mouth if they did.  There's no ordinance about leaving pets out in our city.  As long as they have shelter, and they do, we're not breaking any rules.  I don't know for sure that it's these people that called animal control, it might just be the whole neighborhood that is against us.  I actually suspect it's two households.  I'm just imagining the women sitting together in their living room, not working, sipping wine, and thinking of ways to drive us out.

I just hate feeling like the neighborhood trash.  When we lived in Chicago, we had the nicest front yard on the block.  Granted, it was way smaller and easy to manage, but we didn't complain or judge the others that didn't take care of their patch of lawn.  When it snowed, we or someone else from the block would shovel everyone's sidewalk up and down the street.  When we mowed, we mowed the lawns from one corner to the other.  Around 4th of July the city sat in a cloud of smoke and debris for a week and no ones pants got in a bunch.  Police were only called for screams and gunshots.  We come out to the suburbs and it's like no one has matured beyond high school.  It's all a popularity contest and cliquey.  And we're not even in a ritzy suburb!

The pink flamingos are tempting, but I sincerely don't want to muddy up the neighborhood.  Some neighbors that aren't a-holes put a lot of time, effort and money into their gardening.  We do our best to keep our lot from not looking awful, but to actually make it look as good as it could would require one of us to retire.

It would be great if I could hire an intimidating goon to take complaints at the door.

 
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Alex
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« Reply #8 on: June 20, 2018, 10:35:11 AM »

The next time we are in the states, I'll see if we can make a detour to Chicago. I can give them my psycho stare, put on my full Glaswegian accent then growl at them to p**s off and if that doesn't work I can always ask "Ken yer maw sew? Well git her ta stitch this pal!" (this is the traditional line delivered in Scotland before headbutting someone).

*Translation "I hope your mother is a nurse or has some sort of medical training as I am about to apply an injury to you that will require medical attention: to wit, a number of stitches."
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Pacman000
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« Reply #9 on: June 20, 2018, 12:18:34 PM »

Quote
The pink flamingos are tempting, but I sincerely don't want to muddy up the neighborhood.  Some neighbors that aren't a-holes put a lot of time, effort and money into their gardening.  We do our best to keep our lot from not looking awful, but to actually make it look as good as it could would require one of us to retire.

One of the garden centers near us has big green dinosaurs, like the ones Sinclair Oil used to use. I'd like one of those in my front yard, even if my neighbors were not annoying.   Smile
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FatFreddysCat
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« Reply #10 on: June 20, 2018, 02:49:09 PM »

I feel for ya. Seems like every neighborhood has "that one guy" who's got nothin' better to do then dictate how everyone else should live. I like the pink-flamingo idea. :D

I've lived in my current house since 1999. Our next door neighbors are an older couple who have been weird from the day we moved in. Not un-friendly per se, but more like they refuse to acknowledge we exist. I'm told that the wife was buddy-buddy with the lady who lived in our house before us, so we figure Neighbor Lady never got over us moving into her "friend's" house. The only time she even spoke to us was if one of our kids left something leaning against the chain link fence that separates our yards, like "Please keep your stuff off of OUR fence," as if the thing was made of solid gold.

...I must point out in the interest of foreshadowing that this precious fence is a junky, uneven piece of sh** that's being held together in spots by zip ties, and has been like that since we moved in, whoever she hired to put this thing up years ago definitely ripped her off big time.

Anyway, two summers ago we had to have a tree in our back yard cut down. The tree guys came, did their job, and were done in one day, boom, no problem. A day or two later we got a note in our mailbox (!) from Neighbor Lady, saying "one of the neighbors" told her that our tree guy had damaged "her" fence and demanded to know what we were going to do about it.  She indicated that the top bar at the corner of the fence had been bent and knocked from its post by a falling piece of our tree.

...I must point out at this juncture that Neighbor Lady had picked the WRONG time to f*** with our family, my wife in particular -- because her brother had just died in an auto accident a few weeks before, and she still had a lot of grief-related stress she needed to unload. So needless to say, when my wife read this note she hit the roof, like "Is she f**king KIDDING?  Who the f*** does she think she IS?"... so I just stayed out of the way and watched, like "Heeeere we go."

My wife went digging into our archive of family photos because she KNEW we had pix taken at one of our kids' backyard birthday parties several years prior, which clearly showed the part of the fence that the "tree guy" had supposedly damaged, already bent/separated/banged up.

Anyway, she found a photo from that party which showed the damaged corner of the fence in the background, printed a copy and circled the fence portion in Sharpie, and left it in HER mail box with a note that said something to the effect of "You must be mistaken, because as you can clearly see, the portion of the fence you claim was damaged last week by the tree removers is already damaged in this photo which was taken three years ago (note timestamp). Shame on you for trying to accuse a local businessman of negligence, and for expecting us to pay for something which had nothing to do with us."

...I believe she also suggested that the next time she had a problem with us, that she should "come to our front door and talk to us like an adult, instead of leaving notes in our mail box like a 12 year old." :D

We have not spoken to Neighbor Lady since, in fact if she happens to be outside while I'm out walking the dog, she pretends she doesn't even see me when we pass her. Which is fine. :D
« Last Edit: June 20, 2018, 02:58:40 PM by FatFreddysCat » Logged

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Paquita
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« Reply #11 on: June 20, 2018, 03:57:11 PM »

Freddy - Your wife sounds like someone I need to team up with.  I'm glad she won the fence fight!  Although, I wish our neighbors would leave childish notes for us instead of going directly to the city. 

I just got off the phone with the guy from Animal Control who thanked me for calling and assured me his impression was that the claim was unfounded - but then he also told me there was more to the complaint - that we were not feeding the dogs and abusing them which he said was absurd based on his observations so he didn't even mention it in the notice.

Also, I got the letter from the city today that there was a complaint about tall weeds last week too.  I was kind of expecting that.. we have a couple sticking out of the bushes.  We're being fined for this one.  Awesome.

Well, I guess tomorrow I'll go out barefoot and pregnant and pull some weeds.

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Alex
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« Reply #12 on: June 20, 2018, 04:25:57 PM »

Can you appeal against the fine?
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« Reply #13 on: June 20, 2018, 06:53:04 PM »

I hoped it would be like The ‘Burbs with a metalhead down the block, a crazy militant dude across the street, and a chubby mischievous neighbor, and we would probably be the Klopeks. 

Sounds a lot like my neighborhood!

Sorry to say but you likely are being harassed. Same thing happened to me when we moved to our current house. Lots of old timers that have been here since the place was built and didn't like the younger generation coming in. We've had animal control called because our dog was barking, city sent a letter because someone reported out of control weeds (sorry I didn't now the grass for two weeks), complaints about the kids playing loudly, blah blah blah. I made it clear we went leaving and so far they are the ones that got too old to stay home and left. Now I have some great neighbors and we cause he'll around here and everyone joins in.
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Bushma
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« Reply #14 on: June 20, 2018, 06:58:17 PM »

PS.

Being the nerd (help desk) on the block I started a YouTube page for us. To give you an idea of what we've turned this place into here's a video from last year's 4th of July party.

https://youtu.be/8DLiIaM2TB8

We may one up it this year.

The point being just hang in there, get to know the good people around you and the crappy ones will leave you alone.
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