ER
B-Movie Kraken
Karma: 1761
Posts: 13483
The sleep of reasoner breeds monsters. (sic)
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« on: January 04, 2019, 05:04:11 PM » |
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The Maine Temperature Conversion Chart:
60 degrees above zero: Texans wear coats, gloves, woolly hats; people in Maine sunbathe in the buff....
50 degrees above zero: New Yorkers turn on the heat; people in Maine put on shorts and plant gardens....
40 degrees above zero: In Louisiana, cars won't start; in Maine, people drive on I-95 with the windows down....
32 degrees: Water freezes; at outdoor swimming parties in Maine, people pause to notice the water MIGHT have gotten a little thicker during the night....
20 degrees above zero: In Phoenix, a State of Emergency is declared and the National Guard is called out; in Maine, people have the last cookout before it gets cold...
15 degrees above zero: In Alaska, people crank up their heat; in Maine, people toss on a light sweater....
0 degrees: Californians flee screaming to Mexico; in Maine, pranksters undertake the state sport of tricking drunks into licking flagpoles...
20 degrees below zero: Floridians mysteriously cease to exist; in Maine people lazily don their winter coats....
40 degrees below zero: Texas freezes solid!!!!!; in Maine, Girl Scouts begin their door-to-door cookie sales...
60 degrees below zero: Santa Claus evacuates the North Pole; in Maine, the Boy Scouts postpone their "Winter Survival" course until it gets cold enough....
100 degrees below zero: Lava freezes in mid-floe; in Maine, cows are miffed at dairy farmer's cold hands.....
460 degrees below zero: All molecular motion should cease, but in Maine, people laconically inquire, "Cold nuff fo' yuh????"
500 below: Hell freezes over...coincidentally, in Maine, old Yankees quit saying, "A-yuh....."
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