Things your Dad usta say.

[Svengoolie 3]

Just remember you always look at yoiu dad and say "Just remember I'll probably be deciding what nursing home you end up in!"

That was an experience of long ago.  My dad is gone a long time. 

I was joking, but I didn't mean to cause you any sorrow if it triggered a painful memory.

[ER]

"If you don't eat your vegetables, a ghost will steal your mommy."

[RCMerchant]

" I'll f**k you up like a can of worms!"!

Well, the old bastard wasn't wrong on that statement...

[ER]

"You have to do your algebra because algebra teachers need jobs."

[ER]

"Just because you married him doesn't mean he automatically gets to kiss you."

[ER]

"You can't out-weird me, El, I was married to your mother."

[ER]

"When I was at Columbia I dated this real lovely Portuguese-American girl from Brooklyn, and was totally into her until she told me she used to be demon possessed and had had an exorcism. I kind of went back to the bars after she told me that."

[ER]

"Yeah, I never had the heart to tell you, but the East Germans probably wanted to kill you at one point when you were about eleven."

[ER]

"I don't think dogs go to Heaven, I think dogs just return to the earth like all of us will."

"But, Dad, Grandma says dogs do go to Heaven and I'll go to Heaven too."

"Oh, well, yeah, that's what I meant to say."

[ER]

"If your friends all wanted to jump off a bridge, would you push them?"

[ER]

"You were a stubborn kid and you refused to learn to tell time because you said time made you closer to getting old. You were also a deep kid for thinking something like that."

[ER]

"Yeah, honey, I guess maybe since they didn't have showers and deodorant back then Jesus maybe would've smelled kind of bad...but it's Easter, so don't think things like that."

[ER]

"The reason we didn't have cable when you were a kid was because I didn't want you to grow up to be a groupie."

[RCMerchant]

"If your friends all wanted to jump off a bridge, would you push them?"

I would respond- "Yes!".
When my Dad usta say " If all your freinds jumped off a cliff, would you"?
At that time, yes I would!~ "Just to get away from your crazy ass!"

[ER]

"You had your own bathroom, bedroom and car, so quit telling people you grew up deprived because I wouldn't let you get your ears pierced til you were thirteen. I let you date when you were jail bait, for gosh sakes, but all you ever say is I didn't let you get your damn ears pierced. I think if you murdered drifters you'd be up there on the witness stand explaining you became a serial killer because you were the last girl in your school to get her ears pierced. Hey, I let you have a gun, too!"