Through work I came into contact with something deadly.
Well I hope whatever it was had no lingering effects or was carcinogenic.
Thank you.
It did change parts of how my life is lived, in some ways good, like how it concentrated my thoughts and made me define what was most important to me, inspiring me to reach out toward God and getting a remarkable sense of peace from doing that, and also making me more appreciative of every minute of life with those I love. Up til then I was still young enough to think in terms of decades ahead, still slightly sheltered by the bulletproof nature of youth, and then in one day that changed.
Then again living with this knowledge also intrudes and disrupts and deprives me of how things could otherwise be, but back then when my employers came and dumped this information on me and a team of others I worked with, telling us in effect, make your peace, this is bad, I decided I'd go on as normally as possible, which I think I have.
I got married a month after I was told about this (yeah, being handed a probable death sentence when you're getting married and you have a toddler, wow, huh?), and have traveled to Brazil, to Europe, had two more children, still mostly do what I want and live normally, stay active, play tennis, run, swim a mile at least once a week in the summer, and except for unrelated skin cancer last year I feel perfectly healthy. I've made new friends since then, I write, go on, push it out of my mind most days, but I also know there's a good chance I'll die because of this thing I'm writing about, and that can sometimes cloud life. I will be in a happy moment with my children and it'll hit me....because of such a stupid thing beyond my control I may not be there with them when they're older.
If I do die from this I have the consolation of knowing it will likely be sudden, though probably not painless, ha, then again, considering we were not given tall odds of seeing in 2011 and I'm still here in 2019, I may live another fifty years, time will tell. Ultimately no one here gets out alive, and yet it's still within people to have amazing lives despite our mortality.
(Does that sound dumb?)