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Stuff Your Mom Used To Say

Started by ER, October 07, 2019, 12:22:36 PM

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ER

If you keep playing tennis one of your arms is going to get bigger than the other, and you'll never find a dress that'll look right.
What does not kill me makes me stranger.

ER

Hush, not talking never killed anybody. Well you weren't yelling 'watch out!' were you?
What does not kill me makes me stranger.

ER

Nothing wrong with wanting to be thin but there's a difference in being thin and being skinny, and if your body starts looking like Jesus' hanging up there on a crucifix, it's time for a good meal.
What does not kill me makes me stranger.

ER

Why did I look forward to Heaven so much when I was little? Well, let me tell you, I grew up sharing a bed with my sister, and she wet that bed til I was about nine. Our mom made her sleep in rubber underpants but she'd take them off. You really start looking forward to dying and going to Heaven someday when you wake up next to your sister's pee every morning.
What does not kill me makes me stranger.

ER

I wasn't scared of the ducks when I ran, Ellie, I just didn't want them to have a chance to bite me.
What does not kill me makes me stranger.

ER

Only English people need be afraid of going to the dentist.
What does not kill me makes me stranger.

ER

You don't need to know what that word means. The Bible has lots of words you don't need to know about yet.
What does not kill me makes me stranger.

ER

It was so hot my first summer in America, pregnant with you, which made it worse, that I thought I might actually die, so I used to walk around with iced cabbage leaves on top of my head to stay cool. People would move aside when they saw me walking down a sidewalk wearing vegetation, but in our neighborhood that was usually that a good thing.
What does not kill me makes me stranger.

ER

Why don't you want me to teach you how to play the piano? Sharks don't attack people who can play the piano.
What does not kill me makes me stranger.

ER

I remember your first day in kindergarten, and you were cute as a fairy fart in your little school uniform.
What does not kill me makes me stranger.

ER

If the Brady Bunch had been Catholic there'd have been ten kids at least.
What does not kill me makes me stranger.

ER

Oh, sure, he's into you for your brain. And Mother Theresa keeps kosher in her nunnery.
What does not kill me makes me stranger.

ER

If the Almighty wanted me to learn to swim, the Almighty would have made me WANT to learn how to swim.
What does not kill me makes me stranger.

ER

I didn't grow up with dolls, I had baby siblings.
What does not kill me makes me stranger.

ER

Girls shouldn't fight, but they can kick boys in the shins, I suppose. No, only the shins.
What does not kill me makes me stranger.