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Author Topic: Recent Viewings, Part 2  (Read 601089 times)
lester1/2jr
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« Reply #780 on: December 18, 2020, 04:10:25 PM »

^ I had a passenger recently who was a high level gymnast. they get all these coaches from eastern europe who make them practice with pain. He f**ked up his foot and the guy was like be a man walk it off. he went to the dr and had all these issues they gave him a boot. the coach was like either take off that boot or get out of here.

thats how Nasser was able to stay on. a child abuser himself, he was more than willing to give the okay for anyone to practice no matter how bad they were hurt. it was a quid pro quo



the Quiet - another tubi oddity, its another lifetime ish trash odyssey that tries to be something more. Elisha Cuthbert looks great, too bad she's being sexually harassed by her Dad! The only other male character is also a huge pervert almost like it was made by women for women. She has that to deal with that while also having a new "quiet" deaf mute sister the family adopted. Being a high school Mean Girl is her only salvation and now she has to befriend this dork.

Edie Falco from the sopranos plays the delusional wife who drowns her guilt in pain pills. All her scenes are her on drugs saying crazy stuff and doing bad parenting.

Cuthbert in a cheerleading outfit and the perverted storyline are why it got made and is still out there, but the fact that it doesn't really go anywhere beyond usual soap opera stuff is why its on tubi

3/5

Paranormal Activity 4 - this was a lot like the other 4 but a lot better than The Quiet!

4.5/ 5 (spoiler: love when a knife falls from the ceiling and lands blade first in the cutting board in front of the Dad, which he then TOTALLY FORGETS ABOUT)
« Last Edit: February 16, 2021, 02:53:17 PM by lester1/2jr » Logged
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« Reply #781 on: December 18, 2020, 04:18:15 PM »

^ I had a passenger recently who was a high level gymnast. they get all these coaches from eastern europe who make them practice with pain. He f**ked up his foot and the guy was like be a man walk it off. he went to the dr and had all these issues they gave him a boot. the coach was like either take off that boot or get out of here.

thats how Nasser was able to stay on. a child abuser himself, he was more than willing to give the okay for anyone to practice no matter how bad they were hurt. it was a quid pro quo


Yes, that's something they bring up. The coaches were Romanian and super-authoritarian. Also, Nassar was nice to the girls, he would sneak food to them and tell them they weren't crazy for complaining that they were in pain, so he was like the good cop they could trust.
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« Reply #782 on: December 18, 2020, 11:12:13 PM »

He ended up being the much worse cop. Aly raisman is from my town btw
« Last Edit: December 18, 2020, 11:28:16 PM by lester1/2jr » Logged
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« Reply #783 on: December 19, 2020, 02:40:20 PM »

MST3K: SPACE TRAVELERS: Joel and the bots take on a serious, realistic and dull "stranded in space" drama with Gene Hackman and Gregory Peck, which was even nominated for a couple of Oscars (cinematography and sound mixing). Easily the "best" movie MST3K ever mocked, which makes for a pretty "meh" experiment---there's not enough incompetence or WTFery to make fun of, and there's not much going on on the Satellite of Love either. 2.5/5.
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« Reply #784 on: December 19, 2020, 08:23:31 PM »

"After the Sunset" (2004)
A suave jewel thief (Pierce Brosnan) retires to the Bahamas with his gorgeous partner/fiancee (Salma Hayek) after one last big score, but his peace and quiet is interrupted by a visit from a dorky FBI agent (Woody Harrelson), who isn't convinced that Brosnan's out of "the game" for good.
Brett "Rush Hour" Ratner directed this fun, breezy heist/caper action comedy which makes the most of its impressive cast and the beautiful Caribbean scenery.
Also, Salma Hayek is so hot it's ridiculous, as usual. :D
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« Reply #785 on: December 20, 2020, 03:21:28 AM »

UNDERWATER (2020) - Kristen Stewart (in a very butch mode, with short cut, peroxide blonde hair) stars in this deep sea creature feature.  A tech worker on a deep water oil drilling platform, Stewart leads a desperate escape attempt after an attack by a mysterious creature cripples the rig.  She and the handful of survivors must battle a collapsing structure as well as numerous creature attacks as they attempt to make it to an undamaged auxiliary rig where they can contact the surface.  Pretty well done overall; the last act lost me as I was getting really sleepy.  3.5/5
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« Reply #786 on: December 20, 2020, 07:44:37 AM »

THE ABYSS (1989)

A civilian diving team is enlisted to search for a lost nuclear submarine and faces danger while encountering an alien aquatic species.

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

My God, what a huge letdown this movie was. It starts off pretty good, with a submarine that crashes after a strange encounter with an unidentified underwater vessel. Then, a group of ridiculous cliched divers are recruited to find it and check for survivors, with the help of cardboard cutout navy seals.

Is this movie an adventure? A romance? A mystery? A sci-fi? Well, it's none of these. It mixes every single plot you can imagine, and the result is an incoherent mess that doesn't really know what it's trying to be. I was surprised at how predictable this movie is: pretty much every single plot point is called in advance. The married couple who "hated" each other, the fat guy saying he can hit hard, the breathing underwater, the ridiculous plan of drowning but reviving because the blood is cold, etc. I could almost hear Crow's voice yelling "plot point! plot point!" every time a character made an obvious comment about something that would happen later.

So anyways, after the initial 15 minutes the movie forgets the whole "finding for survivors" thing and becomes a disaster movie, in which this gang, which is composed by people who doesn't behave like normal human beings like, at all, tries to mantain their sub working. Then, aliens show up, but they may as well never been there because they have no relevance to the plot. Seriously, take them away or replace them with whales or something and nothing changes. Meanwhile, the movie goes on an on, it's so long it feels like an eternity, I haven't been so incredibly bored in a while.

The part which disappointed me the most was the fact that the abyss is barely shown. I was always fascinated by the untold mysteries of the darkness below the depths, and I tought this movie would try and tell me more about them. Sadly, most of the action happens inside submarines, with people running in them and shouting random phrases related to, well, submarines. I guess it could be exciting if you like submarines.
At no point I felt they were below hundreds of meters of water. When they do show the outside you can barely see a couple of rocks and machines moving slowly, they may as well be in a small river. You don't see any fish, plants, anything, just a blue background and some rocks. So impressive.

The ending is more Hollywood garbage, I stopped caring like an hour and a half. The characters are all so bad I couldn't force myself to give a damn about them. As a positive point, I do have to say that the special effects are quite good for 1989, but sadly good movies are more than just special effects.

Just avoid this thing, it's overrated trash. Even the generic score sucks. 3/10  Thumbdown
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« Reply #787 on: December 20, 2020, 09:58:31 AM »

RARE EXPORTS: A CHRISTMAS TALE (2010): Near a tiny Finnish village, a crew is excavating a mountain where is believed an ancient evil---Santa Claus---is buried. RARE EXPORT successfully tightropes a dangerous line between being a serious horror movie and a ridiculous black comedy; if it had leaned too far to one side or the other, it would have fallen. 3.5/5.
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« Reply #788 on: December 20, 2020, 10:25:38 AM »

"Santa's Slay" (2005)
This low budget horror comedy re-writes Santa's origin story so that he's the son of Satan, who has only been "good" for the past thousand years because he lost a bet. Now that the millennium is up he's determined to make Christmas a "Day of Slaying" again, starting with the residents of a small Midwestern town.
Wrestler Bill Goldberg is perfectly cast as the evil Santa, and the supporting cast includes quite a few familiar faces like Robert Culp, Dave "SCTV" Thomas, Saul "Warehouse 13" Rubinek, and even James Caan and Fran Drescher (in a hilariously tasteless prologue). The movie starts running out of gas in the last quarter but till then it's an over-the top, ultra-violent hoot.
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« Reply #789 on: December 20, 2020, 11:22:14 AM »

THE ABYSS (1989)

A civilian diving team is enlisted to search for a lost nuclear submarine and faces danger while encountering an alien aquatic species.

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

My God, what a huge letdown this movie was. It starts off pretty good, with a submarine that crashes after a strange encounter with an unidentified underwater vessel. Then, a group of ridiculous cliched divers are recruited to find it and check for survivors, with the help of cardboard cutout navy seals.

Is this movie an adventure? A romance? A mystery? A sci-fi? Well, it's none of these. It mixes every single plot you can imagine, and the result is an incoherent mess that doesn't really know what it's trying to be. I was surprised at how predictable this movie is: pretty much every single plot point is called in advance. The married couple who "hated" each other, the fat guy saying he can hit hard, the breathing underwater, the ridiculous plan of drowning but reviving because the blood is cold, etc. I could almost hear Crow's voice yelling "plot point! plot point!" every time a character made an obvious comment about something that would happen later.

So anyways, after the initial 15 minutes the movie forgets the whole "finding for survivors" thing and becomes a disaster movie, in which this gang, which is composed by people who doesn't behave like normal human beings like, at all, tries to mantain their sub working. Then, aliens show up, but they may as well never been there because they have no relevance to the plot. Seriously, take them away or replace them with whales or something and nothing changes. Meanwhile, the movie goes on an on, it's so long it feels like an eternity, I haven't been so incredibly bored in a while.

The part which disappointed me the most was the fact that the abyss is barely shown. I was always fascinated by the untold mysteries of the darkness below the depths, and I tought this movie would try and tell me more about them. Sadly, most of the action happens inside submarines, with people running in them and shouting random phrases related to, well, submarines. I guess it could be exciting if you like submarines.
At no point I felt they were below hundreds of meters of water. When they do show the outside you can barely see a couple of rocks and machines moving slowly, they may as well be in a small river. You don't see any fish, plants, anything, just a blue background and some rocks. So impressive.

The ending is more Hollywood garbage, I stopped caring like an hour and a half. The characters are all so bad I couldn't force myself to give a damn about them. As a positive point, I do have to say that the special effects are quite good for 1989, but sadly good movies are more than just special effects.

Just avoid this thing, it's overrated trash. Even the generic score sucks. 3/10  Thumbdown

The book that it is based on is quite a bit better than the movie.
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« Reply #790 on: December 20, 2020, 03:16:25 PM »

Mutant Hunt (1987) - If I had this on VHS in college I would have watched it every night. didn't even notice it was supposed to be the future and the "sex crazed mutants" never materialized, it was just regular violent cyborgs and low reproduction quality. total crap but definitely has that bad movie spirit so 5/5
« Last Edit: December 20, 2020, 04:06:56 PM by lester1/2jr » Logged
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« Reply #791 on: December 20, 2020, 04:21:06 PM »

^Yeah. Watched it on Comet a year or so ago.
I loved it.
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« Reply #792 on: December 20, 2020, 05:18:36 PM »

"The New Mutants" (2020)
Five troubled teens with unique powers are being studied by a doctor at a mysterious institution, where they think they're being trained to control their abilities -- but they soon learn that there are more sinister plans for them happening behind the scenes.
This spin-off from the "X-Men" franchise sat on the shelf for over a year due to the Disney/20th Century Fox merger and then was unceremoniously dumped into theatres during the pandemic, where it quickly tanked at the box office.  That's not exactly a surprise - it has a low budget look that resembles the pilot for a TV series rather than a feature film, and though it finally starts to come alive in the last half hour, otherwise it's a slog.
"New Mutants" may not be the worst Marvel movie (because "Man-Thing" and the 2015 "Fantastic Four" reboot exist), but it definitely ranks near the bottom of the pile. Skip it.
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« Reply #793 on: December 20, 2020, 05:34:57 PM »

THE ABYSS (1989)

A civilian diving team is enlisted to search for a lost nuclear submarine and faces danger while encountering an alien aquatic species.

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

My God, what a huge letdown this movie was. It starts off pretty good, with a submarine that crashes after a strange encounter with an unidentified underwater vessel. Then, a group of ridiculous cliched divers are recruited to find it and check for survivors, with the help of cardboard cutout navy seals.

Is this movie an adventure? A romance? A mystery? A sci-fi? Well, it's none of these. It mixes every single plot you can imagine, and the result is an incoherent mess that doesn't really know what it's trying to be. I was surprised at how predictable this movie is: pretty much every single plot point is called in advance. The married couple who "hated" each other, the fat guy saying he can hit hard, the breathing underwater, the ridiculous plan of drowning but reviving because the blood is cold, etc. I could almost hear Crow's voice yelling "plot point! plot point!" every time a character made an obvious comment about something that would happen later.

So anyways, after the initial 15 minutes the movie forgets the whole "finding for survivors" thing and becomes a disaster movie, in which this gang, which is composed by people who doesn't behave like normal human beings like, at all, tries to mantain their sub working. Then, aliens show up, but they may as well never been there because they have no relevance to the plot. Seriously, take them away or replace them with whales or something and nothing changes. Meanwhile, the movie goes on an on, it's so long it feels like an eternity, I haven't been so incredibly bored in a while.

The part which disappointed me the most was the fact that the abyss is barely shown. I was always fascinated by the untold mysteries of the darkness below the depths, and I tought this movie would try and tell me more about them. Sadly, most of the action happens inside submarines, with people running in them and shouting random phrases related to, well, submarines. I guess it could be exciting if you like submarines.
At no point I felt they were below hundreds of meters of water. When they do show the outside you can barely see a couple of rocks and machines moving slowly, they may as well be in a small river. You don't see any fish, plants, anything, just a blue background and some rocks. So impressive.

The ending is more Hollywood garbage, I stopped caring like an hour and a half. The characters are all so bad I couldn't force myself to give a damn about them. As a positive point, I do have to say that the special effects are quite good for 1989, but sadly good movies are more than just special effects.

Just avoid this thing, it's overrated trash. Even the generic score sucks. 3/10  Thumbdown

To be fair, this is actually the movie that made a lot of those plot points cliche in countless other movies that followed it. I personally enjoyed Deepstar Six (1989) a lot more. It was just as bad, but half as long and got to its point a hell of a lot faster. Plus it was much gorier and featured the late Miguel Ferrer (Bob Morton from Robocop (1987)) as a kinda-sorta villain (he was a douchebag, but you felt sorry for him, especially during his prolonged death scene) and Marius Weyers from The Gods Must Be Crazy (1980).
« Last Edit: December 20, 2020, 05:45:43 PM by zelmo73 » Logged

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« Reply #794 on: December 20, 2020, 09:46:01 PM »

"Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2" (1987)
Teenage psycho "Ricky," the now-grown younger brother of the Santa Claus killer from the first "SNDN," pours out his woeful life story (thanks to generous amounts of footage from the original movie) to a jail psychiatrist before he dons a Santa suit and goes out on his own Christmas Eve killing spree to get even with the evil Mother Superior.
This unintentionally hilarious sequel to the '84 holiday sickie has achieved cult status thanks to the over-the-top, eyebrow-arching over-acting of Eric Freeman as "Ricky," who gives a scenery-chewing performance for the ages. Plus, there's so much recycled footage from the first movie in this one that you're practically getting a double feature.
Make no mistake, this movie is completely, utterly god-awful, but in a totally awesome way.
Is it wrong that it has become a holiday season perennial for me?
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