Recent Viewings, Part 2

[Rev. Powell]

INSIDIOUS (2010): A young boy falls ill when he moves into a new house; mom is convinced the home is haunted, but when they move, the kid doesn't get better, and the apparitions get worse. A little more attention to detail (like how can a high school teacher afford such a huge home?) could have elevated this POLTERGEIST variation above just average, since it does have a couple of really good bits, like the comic relief psychic team and a terrifically terrifying use of "Tiptoe Through the Tulips." 3/5.

[FatFreddysCat]

"The Thomas Crown Affair" (1999)
Pierce Brosnan takes a break from James Bond to play a jet-setting New York financier who also dabbles in high-end art theft. When a priceless painting by Monet disappears from the Metropolitan Museum, their insurance company puts a gorgeous lady investigator (Rene Russo) on the case, but she may not be able to resist the charming thief.
This was a remake of a late '60s flick that starred Steve McQueen and Faye Dunaway (who has a minor role in this one). It starts out as a pretty cool, twisty heist/caper flick but ends up leaning too much on the romance subplot as the film goes on. Despite that it's got a nice lavish look, a great cast, and good Lord, Rene Russo was fine as hell back then.
Not my usual kind of meat, but not a waste of time, either.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Rock N Roll High School Forever" (1991)
A dorky garage band led by Corey Feldman battles against Ronald Reagan High's rock hating yuppie student council and the ruthless Dean of Discipline, Dr. Vadar, in order to play at the senior prom.
...this belated, cheap looking pseudo-sequel to the 1979 classic is pure early 90s cheddar. Feldman was already rockin' the Michael Jackson hair at this time and the less said about his singing with his band "The Eradicators," the better.
Mojo Nixon turns up in a brief cameo as "the Spirit of Rock N Roll" and his song, "A-Bomb the School Prom," is the film's only highlight.
The original "RNRHS" is one of my favorite movies of all time. This is nothing more than a pale dollar store imitation.
AVOID.

[Rev. Powell]

VERSUS (2000): Two escaped convicts make their way to a spot where gangsters are supposed to pick them up; double-crosses follow, complicated by the fact that the rendezvous spot is a mystical forest where the dead quickly return to life. Nonstop dopey comic book violence choreographed by filmmakers who don't care as much about logic as they do about making sure the actors look cool while shooting zombies. 3.5/5.

[lester1/2jr]

Last Kind Words (2012) - mixed reviews on this one but I liked it enough to watch it a second time here. A family arrives at a farm so the father can work for the farmer. Soon enough, the kid meets a beautiful local girl and begins a backwoods romance. Unfortunately this is a horror (ish ) movie so the fun times don't last. All kinds of dark family secrets are uncovered as the son tries to find a purpose in life.

I guess some of the IMDB reviewers didn't think it was "horror" enough and in their defense the cover makes it look more like a typical Insidious type experience. The story is stronger than usual though and there are some nice shots of the farm with the extended woods and old barns and stuff.

4.25 /5 its more dark thriller than razzle dazzle horror. I probably wouldn't watch it a third time though

[RCMerchant]

the PIT (1981)

A perverted creepy little basterd talks to his teddy bear, drools over his babysitter, gets bullied by everyone, and makes buddy-buddy with some 'trogs' that live in a pit out in the woods. And of course this junior Ted Bundy s**t stain lures them to the pit in various ways (some borderline slapstick, some scary) and shoves them in.
The first part is mostly about the psycho kid. The last part is pure monster movie-because the trogs get out!
Oh No!  

And for any Canuks here (I think Newt is!)- it was made in Canada!

http://youtu.be/T-fSOX9tyoY

I loved it!

[Dr. Whom]

La Mujer Murciélago/Batwoman (1968)

Someone in Mexico saw the Adam West Batman and thought, this would be so much better if we replaced the guy in tights with a hot chick in a bikini. The result is Batwoman (or the more spectacular sounding Spanish La Mujer Murciélago). Maura Monti's costume is just that: a cowl and a bikini (or when she is incognito, another bikini or baby doll nighty).

Batwoman is called by the Acapulco police to solve a series or murders on luchadores, who have their pineal gland drained. Turns out that this brain fluid is used by the nefarious Dr. Williams and his assistant Igor to create a race of fishmen to rule the oceans (insert maniacal laughter)

This plays out like an Adam West Batman, with equally believable fight scenes, but without the humour, the silliness and the gadgets. There are a lot of underwater shots though. The production team clearly wanted to show everyone that they had access to an underwater camera. It is also very slow and deliberate. The script would be OK for a 30-45 min TV episode, but is terribly drawn out to fill a 1h20 movie.

[indianasmith]

THE LEGEND OF AWESOMIST MAXIMUS (2011) - This was National Lampoon's spoof of 300, GLADIATOR, TROY, and SPARTACUS - a hilariously bad, offensive romp loaded with gay jokes, nudity, cheesy fight scenes, and bad dialogue.  The Trojan Horse is replaced with a Trojan . . . . er, Weinermobile, shall we say?, and Achilles becomes Testicleez, and the mighty King Xerxes is replaced by the prissy King Erotik.  Full of groaners, this movie hit my funnybone just right after a long day at work. 2/4 on the regular movie scale, but a solid 5/5 on the bad movie scale!

[indianasmith]

AQUASLASH (2019) - A graduating high school class holds their party at an aging waterpark where several murders had occurred some 35 years before; little known to them, the killer has returned and has booby-trapped the tallest, fastest water slide in the park with razor sharp saw blades about halfway down.  Decapitations and massive gore ensues.  Not much for plot, but an original concept, and I didn't guess who the killer was until the reveal.  Plus lotsa hot girls in swimsuits.  A good way to spend a Friday evening.

[lester1/2jr]

Stranger From Venus (1954) - British people hadn't quite figured out how to do campy sci fi yet. This is like an incredibly long and boring Outer Limits Episode that thankfully never made it to air.

An alien comes to earth and tries to order beer in a dumb British pub. Everyone soon realizes he doesn't belong, probably because he has all his teeth. Two almost okay looking brunettes are all the scenery we get. He lectures everyone about how stupid they are so logically the annoyed Earthling bar patrons plot to blow up his cheap looking spaceship. Amidst all this he/ it begins the worlds most tepid affair ever with one of the 5's

2.5 /5 If you thought Creation of the Humanoids wasn't preachy and leaden enough check this one out

[FatFreddysCat]

Under-the-weather double feature:

"The Phantom" (1996)
Billy Zane ("Titanic") stars as the 1930's comic strip hero, who travels from his jungle home to pre-war New York City to stop a budding super-villain (Treat Williams) who's looking to steal a major source of mystical power. A fun period piece action thriller, somewhere between "Batman" and "Raiders of the Lost Ark."

"Fulci For Fake" (2019)
The life and work of notorious Italian film director Lucio Fulci, aka "The Godfather of Gore," is examined through photos, home movies, and  interviews with members of his family, frequent collaborators, and film scholars. An interesting portrait of a complicated man. In Italian, with sub-titles.

[RCMerchant]

Stranger From Venus (1954) - British people hadn't quite figured out how to do campy sci fi yet. This is like an incredibly long and boring Outer Limits Episode that thankfully never made it to air.

An alien comes to earth and tries to order beer in a dumb British pub. Everyone soon realizes he doesn't belong, probably because he has all his teeth. Two almost okay looking brunettes are all the scenery we get. He lectures everyone about how stupid they are so logically the annoyed Earthling bar patrons plot to blow up his cheap looking spaceship. Amidst all this he/ it begins the worlds most tepid affair ever with one of the 5's

2.5 /5 If you thought Creation of the Humanoids wasn't preachy and leaden enough check this one out

You hit that nail on the head.

[indianasmith]

BLOODLINES (2018) - A high school counselor and new dad, played by Seann Scott (better known as Steve Stiffler from the AMERICAN PIE series), struggles with juggling fatherhood, a strained marriage, and the woes of the abused high school students he deals with daily, all while hiding from his wife and the world the fact that he is a Dexter-style serial killer, avenging abused youth by taking out their abusers . . . permanently.  A well-done, dark film with a nice twist ending, I really enjoyed this one.  4/5

STARSHIP TROOPERS (1997) Sometimes you gotta go with the classics, and this fascist sci-fi romp starring Caspar von Diem, Neil Patrick Harris, a kazillion CGI space bugs, and Denise Richards and her eyebrows at the peak of her 90's hotness, is still a fun watch all these years later!  Never mind the bleak, militaristic government that rules earth in the 23rd century, let's blow up some bugs while the military enjoys co-ed showers!

[indianasmith]

CUTTING CLASS -  A classic 80's slasher starring a very young Brad Pitt, complete with improbable kills, a baffling storyline, unlikable characters, and dialogue that leaves the viewer going "Huh?" on a regular basis.  The second act drags a bit, but overall this one is a fun way to kill an hour and a half while stuck late on a Saturday night waiting for your 92 year old mother in law to have to get up and use the bathroom again, or die in her sleep. So far, it's always been the former.

[Gabriel Knight]

REQUIEM FOR A DREAM (2000)

The drug-induced utopias of four Coney Island people are shattered when their addictions run deep.

WARNING: SPOILERS ALERT

Perhaps I just enjoy going against the current, perhaps I just suck as a movie watcher... or perhaps, maybe perhaps, this movie is a little bit overrated? I've watched it for the first time last weekend and I hated it. It's basically TRAINSPOTTING but without the memorable scenes, the black humor, the interesting characters, and the uplifting ending.
Not only the four main cast is ridiculously boring and cliched, but I also couldn't give a damn about any of them, therefore making the whole emotion exploitation of the movie meaningless. There wasn't a single point in the whole plot in which they tried to be better by pure sacrifice and effort, all of them took the easy way out and basically blamed it all in the rest.
The portrayal of both medical and security staff is laughable, those hospitals looked like they came from a horror movie (electroshocks without anesthetics? sending away a patient with gangrene, and then arresting him without treatment first? giving amphetamines to a person who wants to lose weight, just like that?).
Plenty of scenes were totally useless, just there for the shock factor, like frontal nudity, the guy inyecting himself in the wound for no reason, the whole orgy at the ending, and many more.
The editing made me dizzy, it felt like a neverending music video. The dialog is simply awful: a lot of phrases are not only bad, but also used more than once, and in some cases, by more than one character, as if we needed to hear it over and over because they were oh-so-deep.

Honestly, I believe that the only reason this movie got popular was because the music, which is really good and appropiate for each scene. The rest is total artsy-fartsy garbage, sorry. 3/10