Ever Wished Dueling Were Legal?

[ER]

When I think of dueling, the thought hits me that I bet a lot of a certain type of manipulative woman instigated many duels back in the day, based on how many fights some types enjoy causing between men.

[RCMerchant]

If it was legal, gangsters could just claim they were 'dueling'!  
Feuding neighbors- just dueling! 
Me and my ex-wife- "she brought a knife to a gun duel!"

[ER]

Yeah, but you gotta admit, it'd be hip to wait til you had some terminal disease and then go challenge your lifelong foe to a duel. Win-win. You blow him away and you feel good inside. You get shot, who cares, you probably saved yourself months of pain. Plus imagine what your great-grandkids would think.

"Did great-grandpa die of cancer?"

"Naw, he went out in a duel."

"Oh, he was butch!"

[pacman000]

Yeah, but you gotta admit, it'd be hip to wait til you had some terminal disease and then go challenge your lifelong foe to a duel. Win-win. You blow him away and you feel good inside. You get shot, who cares, you probably saved yourself months of pain. Plus imagine what your great-grandkids would think.

"Did great-grandpa die of cancer?"

"Naw, he went out in a duel."

"Oh, he was butch!"

I'd be afraid I'd get hit in the stomach or something & die slowly anyways.

[ER]

Yeah, but you gotta admit, it'd be hip to wait til you had some terminal disease and then go challenge your lifelong foe to a duel. Win-win. You blow him away and you feel good inside. You get shot, who cares, you probably saved yourself months of pain. Plus imagine what your great-grandkids would think.

"Did great-grandpa die of cancer?"

"Naw, he went out in a duel."

"Oh, he was butch!"

I'd be afraid I'd get hit in the stomach or something & die slowly anyways.

That's why I'd only duel where doctor-assisted suicide was just a phone call away.

[WingedSerpent]

I would have been dead a long time ago.

[ER]

Dueling reminds me of a Sliders episode, where lawyers were gunslingers, and all legal matters were settled by a shootout. The lawyer on there was one of the last surviving members of his law school class, so he was good.

[Alex]

Frequently. I am good with a sword.

[ER]

I think I'd demand boomerangs at twenty paces, not just because if I missed I could keep throwing til i got a hit but because think how humiliated your opponent would be to get to the afterlife and tell his grandpa a freaking boomerang killed him.

[RCMerchant]

I would duel with someone!
As long as they didn't have a gun.Or if it jammed at the moment of truth.
And I would go home.
Or I would just shoot the motherf**ker.
And then go home.

[ER]

Frequently. I am good with a sword.

I don't know if I'd be any good with a sword but I'm reasonably sure I could shoot someone through the eye at twenty paces. Or, wait, you're not supposed to aim above the chest so you don't mess your foe up for his funeral, right? (Sigh, too many rules.) Well, all right, through the heart then, wet blanket rule makers.

[RCMerchant]

By pass the dueling s**t and just shoot the guy when he least expects it!
That eliminates a lot of formalities!

[ER]

By pass the dueling s**t and just shoot the guy when he least expects it!
That eliminates a lot of formalities!

Meh, if I was going to do that, I'd just poison him. Dueling though has a certain panache. Summoning seconds, writing letters to next of kin the night before, finding a doctor and priest to tag along, everyone but the combatants turning their backs, shaking hands and exchanging forgiveness before you mangle your opponent's innards with a bullet, then offering funeral expenses to his widow. Veddy formal. Homicide at its most "sivilized" (to quote Mark Twain.)

Been reading about dueling lately, so it's been on my mind.