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June 18, 2018, 09:10:56 AM
598859 Posts in 46191 Topics by 6136 Members
Latest Member: Stevefuh Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  B-Movies and Ferrets ... (Monster) « previous next »
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Author Topic: B-Movies and Ferrets ... (Monster)  (Read 3461 times)
« on: April 11, 2001, 03:24:02 AM »

Well, Andrew: It's a very close call.

I braved 'Monster' tonight. I'm teaching my new baby ferret to fall asleep in my lap, and Monster greatly helped my training efforts. However, I myself wanted to jump from my sofa and burst into a loud, primal scream about an hour into the film ... the boredom was so overwhelming.

"Looks like I'm going to take my midnight swim all by myself."


That monster at the end ... I own more convincing tub toys than that thing. And there's nothing I enjoy more than a dozen Catholic villagers who bless themselves the wrong way.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but 'Rats Are Coming, Werewolves are Here' MIGHT be the superior picture ... but only by a hair. It's a tight race.

Incidentally, I've watched several other films with my new baby ferret over the past few days ... for educational purposes, of course. He and I started with 'Bats' on Sunday night ... which I thought was a great way to teach him not to bite (something baby ferrets do a lot ... my little guy doesn't have teeth yet, though). "If you bite people, they'll send in the army and blow up your cage." That's what I told him. While my ferret (Lord Fleeble is his name) visibly emphasized with the biting bats, I do believe he got the message. Last night, he and I watched a Tales From The Darkside compilation tape ... mainly because I wanted him to see a few episodes in which bad things happened to people who didn't do what they were told.

I've considered showing him 'Day of the Animals' ... but I think it might send him mixed messages.
« Reply #1 on: April 11, 2001, 04:56:28 AM »

Just wait until TBS or TNT shows "Superbeast" again, if ever...the most exciting, suspenseful moment will be when you realize your ass is completely and painfully asleep.

If you don't mind vicious, nasty hentai anime, you and Lord Fleeble should watch "Alien From The Darkness" together. You can use it to teach LF a helpful self-defense trick. :)
« Reply #2 on: April 11, 2001, 10:37:14 AM »

Thanks for the suggestion. He might be a little young for Hentai at the moment. I plan to show him Piranha sometime soon. His favorite toy is a rubber fish, but once he gets his teeth, I'll have to take his toy away. Since I don't know of any choking hazard films, I'm thinking Piranha might help him understand why I have to take his toy from him.

Again, it's risky. I don't want him empathizing with animals gone mad ... especially if it looks like the crazed critters are having too much fun biting people.

Lord Fleeble
« Reply #3 on: April 11, 2001, 10:38:03 AM »

Hey, leave that impresionable mind alone! He'll develoup a taste for human blood all by his own self, i'll bet. Then you could make him a guard Ferret. Have you shown him "Beastmaster" btw?
« Reply #4 on: April 11, 2001, 01:47:03 PM »

Beastmasters 1, 2 (God help him) and 3 are up for this weekend.

Beastmaster brought the first ferrets on film. Why, you ask? Why don't I see ferrets onscreen like other animals?

« Reply #5 on: April 11, 2001, 10:17:30 PM »

Well, little Lord Fleeble went to the vet today and received a clean bill of health, so I think we're going to watch Beastmaster to celebrate.

The only other flicks I can think of ... besides Beastmasters ... that feature ferrets are Kindergarten Cop and Legends of the Fall. So it's high time that somebody makes a flick titled, 'The Ferret That Ate Philadelphia.'

David Carradine of Deathrace 2000 fame is a ferret lover. Maybe he can get something ferrety cooking.

Frankenstein and Ferret
« Reply #6 on: April 12, 2001, 05:18:05 PM »

Perhaps my post would've made a bit more sense if I had mentioned that the heroine of "Alien From The Darkness" has a pet ferret named Einstein that saves her at one point by biting the title creature in its, um, most vulnerable spot. But never mind...
« Reply #7 on: April 12, 2001, 06:52:30 PM »

I'd definitely say the Milligan film is easier on the watcher.  Beware if you ever meet Katie, she has expressed a desire to kick your butt for sending me the film.

On second thought, watching that would be fun.

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