"Scanners":The Remake;Uuuuccckkkk!!!

[Steven Millan]

                    Get ready,folks:Artisan Entertainment is preparing to unleash a remake of "Scanners" upon us(I heavily kid you not)!!!
                    You can expect it to be sqeaky clean,and have a much more happier ending,instead of the extremely gory,heavily dark original finale that made the 1980 film so unforgettable,and very tense.
                     David Cronenberg will only get extra cash from this gratuitious "redux",and use it to make many more better and original movies to bury all of these upcoming remakes that'll soon flood(and drown)our theaters.
                       I'm now starting to see that the possibilities of remaking both "Enter The Dragon"(with Tom Cruise or Josh Hartlett,and LL Cool J in Bruce Lee's and Jim Kelly's roles)and "Howling 2"(with Eric Roberts as the werewolf hunter Stefan,and Pamela Anderson in Sybil Danning's role,with the likes of Fred Olen Ray,Jim Wynorski,or Albert Pyun[everybody's favorite bowling buddies]taking the directing chores)so much more one step closer to becoming a reality(which I surely hope not).

[Lee]

SSSHHH! They might here you. Your Enter The Dragon remake sounds really scary. Tom's a cool guy but he don't belong in a martial arts movie especially a bad reamake of a classic one at that. Scanners is great, but this idea for a reamake doesn't sound to good. C'mon how would they even try to do better than the head exploding scene?! Hell, can you even have stuff like that anymore? What's up with all the reakes lately. One ever once in a while makes since when it is done well, but a bunch of crappy ones makes no since whatsoever. I have nothing against studios and filmakers making money but they could make loads more if they would make GOOD movies instead of a bunch of crap remakes. I think my lousy view towards remakes came about to that awful Planet Of The Apes movie. What the HELL went wrong with Tim Burton and Mark Whalberg? What were they thinkin when they signed on? UHH!

[Private Joker]

@!#$, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!