Asteroids!

[Susan]

Speaking of Atari games made into movies. Asteroids anyone?

LONDON (AP) -- Astronomers are carefully monitoring a newly discovered 1.2-mile-wide (2 km) asteroid to see whether it is on a collision course with Earth.

Initial calculations indicate there is a chance the asteroid — known as 2002 NT7 — will hit the Earth on February 1, 2019. But scientists said Wednesday that the calculations are preliminary and the risk to the planet is low.

"The threat is very minimal," Donald Yeomans, of NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, California, told British Broadcasting Corp. radio. "An object of this size would be expected to hit the Earth every few million years, and as we get additional data I think this threat will go away."

The object was detected on July 9 by the Lincoln Near Earth Asteroid Research Project in New Mexico. It orbits the sun every 837 days, and NASA scientists predict its path could intersect with the Earth's orbit. But they say more observations over the coming months will help them plot its course more accurately.

"There's a good chance this particular object won't hit us, but we know that a large object will hit us sooner or later," said British lawmaker Lembit Opik, who has long warned of the danger posed by asteroids.

NASA estimates that asteroids big enough to cause catastrophic destruction could theoretically hit Earth every million years, or at longer intervals.

Last month an asteroid the size of a soccer field missed the Earth by 75,000 miles — less than one-third of the distance to the moon in one of the closest known approaches by objects of its size. Scientists said if it had hit a populated area, it would have released as much energy as a large nuclear weapon.
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The one thing that sucked about the movie "Armageddon" was the title. Mainly because there WAS NO armageddon. "Deep Impact" was better, but still - it's hard to swallow the fact that two kids on a moterbike in the rugged mountains can outrun a tsunami wave. Maybe it's me.

[Squishy]

"Deep Impact:" Well, the kids were already well on their way towards safety before the thing even hit the ocean, so that's not so bad. This isn't as if, say, Leone and Schell, standing on the beach, decided to run for it when they saw the wave, and then made it to safety.

 (...Or outdriving the pyroclastic cloud in "Dante's Peak." Ha ha ha! Finally saw that on cable the other day. Fun--if, like the movie, you ignore physics and the clichéd human subplots--and that's a sweet theme and kickass effects.)

From your subject title, I thought you were talking about the horrible turd that shows up on Sci-Fi and USA once in a while. In this one, smaller asteroids regularly rain over a town FOR THREE DAYS with Godlike precision; amazingly, at first these small strikes kill several people, leaving no witnesses or survivors so that no one realizes what's happening. Once "the truth" is learned, the rocks start knocking out bridges and roads and every way-to-safety the survivors approach, just as they get there. There's the old "we're-not-gonna-stop-the-festival" plot from "Jaws," and of course all obnoxious characters (there are no "villians") get killed--one literally knocked out of his shoes by a direct hit. Everything, from the casting to the writing to the effects, is so awful, it makes "Meteor" or "A Fire In The Sky" look like Oscar material.

God, I love it.

[John]

>The one thing that sucked about the movie "Armageddon" was the title. Mainly
>because there WAS NO armageddon. "Deep Impact" was better, but still - it's

 I agree. I didn't really like Armageddon that much.

[Squishy]

Oh, crap. I love it so much, I forgot it's called "Meteorites!" All right, Officer, I'll come quietly...

[AndyC]

That has got to be one of the most ridiculous movies I've ever heard of. Meteorites hitting the same little town and nowhere else. What a coincidence that they manage to hit that spot for days while the earth is turning and orbiting the sun. They'd have to be arranged just right.

Going back to the original message, can you imagine a movie based on the Asteroids game? The big climax would have the hero parked in the middle of a bunch of asteroids (they're always really close together, rather than miles apart) spinning his ship in one spot and shooting them for no reason. I suppose he could be removing a threat, but it seems to me that a lot of little, rapidly moving fragments would be at least as dangerous as a few big slow rocks.

Anyway, there are too lame things about any video game movie - they either stray too far from the game and make up a bunch of crap that doesn't happen, or they stick to closely to the game, throwing in stupid scenes like the one described above.

[Andrew]

AndyC said:
>Going back to the original message, can you imagine a movie based on the >Asteroids game?  The big climax would have the hero parked in the middle of a >bunch of asteroids (they're always really close together, rather than miles apart) >spinning his ship in one spot and shooting them for no reason.

"Armageddon" meets "The Last Starfighter."

And the plot for "Meteorites!" is absurd, as pointed out by the two gentlemen.  If your town, and only your town, is being pelted with space rocks, then move, because God hates your town.

Man, that is a lot of commas, but they seem to be in the right places.

I have always watched "Armageddon" for the one scene where the shuttles are making their end run on the asteroid.  Other than that it pretty much drives me bonkers.  WHY?  Why did they have a paddle-controlled minigun?

[Flangepart]

Why? IITS! Thats why. Meteorites and Asteroid and Armigeddon are one hard block of Goverment cheese to swollow. Thick enough to stop a bullet. Deep Impact at least tried, for me, to take the idea seriously. But those first three................The universe hates a small town? Check! Highly ed-u-cated scientest can't realise if you blow up an Asteroid, THE PIECES WILL STILL BE HEADED TO EARTH THROUGH SHEER INERTIA! Idiots!....and, of corse, M61 Vlucan 20mm cannon are essencial equipment on NASA space mineing machines. Sheese. ................................................................................................... .....................Still, gotta love the Capt. Line. GET OFF...THE NUCLEAR...WARHEAD. Works for me.

[Susan]

>>"Deep Impact:" Well, the kids were already well on their way towards safety before the thing even hit the ocean, so that's not so bad. <<

Here came the huge fast moving wave. They were barely in the woods and couldn't even operate that damn bike very well and escaped the water. Their parents were probably 100 feet down and were swooped away? Yeesh

I HOPE EVERYONE REALIZES the article I posted below Asteroids was an actual article released the other day from REUTERS NEWS AGENCY. So, are we gonna have an end of the world party? Who's bringing the movies?

[Squishy]

If, during the course of the next seventeen years, we find (1) the thing IS actually going to hit, and (2) we can't stop it, then I'm going to die watching "Glitter." That way, I'll already technically be in Hell, and anything that follows will be Heaven.

EPILOGUE: Seventeen Years Later.
Squishy: "Ugh...where...where am I?"
Mariah Carey: "Hiiiiii!! Welcome to Paradise!!!!!"
Squishy: (screams)