Oh God! I agree with Cullen. Most of these posters don't know PAIN.
I read Andrews review of Sorroity Vampires blah blah, and was thinking of trying it. Until I played the clip. I then realized that I wouldn't make it through it. A man's gotta know his limitations.
As I think through some of the horrors I have seen, the ones I have seen with the help of Mike/Joel and the bots have always been tolerable. Not always good, but tolerable. Except for one film. A film I have only seen mystied-once. I cannot watch it again. It caused me serious pain. It caused a weird emotional reaction in me. I simply cannot watch this demented piece of filth ever again...even mystied. It is THE INCREDIBLY STRANGE CREATURES WHO STOPPED LIVING AND BECAME MIXED-UP ZOMBIES. I don't even like to think about it.
In the category "How Could this Thing Possibly Have Been Made" I tip my hat to Maestro Ed Wood and his debacle "Plan 9 From Outer Space". Ed was a serious alcholic and had other hangups to boot, but he must've swilled a fith of hooch each morning whilst directing this train wreck. The production quality of this film alone leaves ones mouth agape. I mean the freaking Tombstones are card board and they bend. There is no continuity checking...the errors are so many and obviuos it's beyond belief.
On slow Saturday afternoons I watch the schlock on the SciFi channel after MST3K reruns. One movie they like to show is a Howling flick, "The Rise of the Marsupials" or some such nonsense. It's quite bad, though not terribly painful, except for the end. You see at the end of the flick the were-marsupial and her hubby decide to get back into the movie business (yes this brave cutting edge flick combines the werewolf genre with the movie-in-a-movie genre-how avante....oh never mind). She becomes a great actress (so we're told-hey IITS) and her hubby is a powerful director. Now during the flick it is revealed that when exposed to flashing lights, the were-marsupials turn into their "were" selves. And, at the end of the flick, our female "were" lead is at an awards show and the cameras start flahing and -BaBoing-she goes a changing on live T.V. Do you understand the pain? She's a big star, and this is the FIRST time she's been subject to flashing lights? Yeah sure.
For a hard core Star Trek fan like myself, Star Trek 5 is extraordinarily painful. After 21 some years of Star Trek we find out Spock has a brother...oh brother. Oh the pain....And then...An aged and hefty Nichelle Nichols (Uhuru, who was quite the fox in the 60's) does a "sexy" moonlit striptease (PLEASE SHATNER, FOR THE LOVE OF HUMANITY, STOP!)....I can't go on, the memory is too painful.
Disney's "The Black Hole" came out when I was a starry eyed 13 year old. I really wanted to see this movie. Disney promoted the hell out of this turd. It was incoherant and quite awful. The space ship walls were obviously made of paper, and the cartoonish "floating" robots were obviously moved about by wire. Not only could you see the wires, but also their movement screamed "something heavy being pulled along from above by wires". Truly bad.
It's one thing if a movie that has a budget predicated on the funder's ability to recycle aluminum cans is bad, it's another when $100,000,000 is p**sed away on it's production, and it has some acting talent to work with to boot. Batman and Robin is so appallingly bad, given the resources available to the filmakers, it leaves me speachless. Ed Wood made movies on virtually no money at all. They're bad movies, but few of society's resources were waisted in their making. Batman and Robin is a sin. The absolute waste of talent and resources doumbfounds me.
Speaking of bat people, although I hate to throw in another mytified movie, but "The Wild, Wild, World of Batwoman" is really a horrible movie. It makes no sense at all. Scenes in the movie just make my brain hurt. The opening of the movie has nothing whatsoever to do with the rest of the movie. The logic centers of my brain go into overload when I try to connect any of the scenes. It is a painful movie. Mike and the bots make it watchable however. I only recommend the mystied version.
As one who has read The Lord of the Rings trilogy 12 times, The Hobbit thrice, The Silmarillion 10 times, and Unfinished tales twice, I find Ralph Bashki's abomination, the poorly animated "The Lofd of the Rings", particularly offensive. If you've never read the books, the movie makes no sense whatsoever. If you have read the books the movie is offensive. In Tolkein's world, elves are graceful, beautiful, immortal beings. They do not make keebler cookies, nor are they faries, whcih is the way Baski portrays them. As one reviewer of the movie wrote, it has all of the hit scenes in the books without any connecting information to substantiate them.
I don't know the name of this one. It is a western made in the late seventies. It starred Anne Margaret, Kirk Douglas, and Arnold Schwarzeneger. I found it painful in the extreme. Email me if you know the name, as I've only seen it once.
Last and extremely least is another mystie, "Manos: Hand of Fate". What to make of this thing? How could anyone think that this would work? Well if you look into the history of the filming of this garbage, you will find that nobody, outside of the director, thought this thing would work. I can't describe the mind that made this movie and thought it worthy of making. My mind boggles. It frightens me that such a person ever existed.