mr. henry
Bad Movie Lover
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Posts: 519
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« on: August 22, 2002, 12:44:41 AM » |
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...four recent views...because writing these blurbs helps me rationalize watching this stuff...
Blood Beach - 1980 (R). (VHS) Directed by Jeffrey Bloom. Picture Jaws without water or any jaws. Remember how cops called on the help of shark experts in jaws? Well, these guys call in geologists (seriously). This movie is basically about killer sand since the monster isn't seen until the last ten minutes. However, there are plenty of screaming people buried waist-deep in "blood beach." Burt Young, Rocky's Paulie, plays a supposed-comic-relief buffoon from Chicago named Royko---an unfounded insult to the late Mike Royko of Chicago. NOT RECOMMENDED.
Mutant on the Bounty - 1989 (PG-13). (VHS) Only movie directed by Robert Torrance. The USS Bounty spaceship encounters a wayward transportation particle beam and the crew decides to materialize it. What they get is a mutant saxophone player named Max with a phone-embedded noggin that rings during moments of intimate pleasure. Two goons after a mass-destructo gizmo located in Max's mixed-up-luggage board the Bounty under false pretenses. It's an enjoyable semi-slapstick goof-off that's goofy enough and bad enough to be RECOMMENDED for fans of B-space comedy (and you know who you are).
Class of Nuke 'em High - 1986 (R) (84 mins). (VHS) Directed by Richard W. Haines and Lloyd Kaufman. Everyone remembers their first Troma movie; this one was mine. Next to The Toxic Avenger, this movie is next in line as an 80s-style Troma primer. Nuclear radiation contaminates a high school over-run with "colorful" Troma characters. Get ready for the world's largest undercover erection, steroid nose rings, a barfed-up tadpole monster, and radioactive pot. RECOMMENDED.
Trees Lounge - 1996 (R). (VHS) Written, directed, and starring Steve Buscemi as Tommy. Nothing goes right for Tommy; he's fired from his auto-mechanic job, his ex-girlfriend is pregnant and dating his former co-worker, and he can't seem to stay out of trouble or out of Trees Lounge. Tommy tries to get his life on track in little ways that only fail and cause more trouble. He even tries driving an ice cream truck (as did real-life Buscemi). A realistic and depressing portrayal of the good-natured yet hopeless corner bar alcoholic. For another brilliant and more recent performance, check out Buscemi in Ghost World. RECOMMENDED.
-mr. henry
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