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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  Things not to say during sex « previous next »
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Author Topic: Things not to say during sex  (Read 7759 times)
Luke Bannon
Guest
« on: September 15, 2002, 04:01:14 PM »

A bit off the topic but me being the helpful guru (not) I am I thought I would enlighten you with a lesson Dr. Demento taught me of things not to say during sex. Feel free to add to the list. To get us started here's:
Oh did I mention the video camera?
I hate people who think sex means something
It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate or blow up.

OK time to come clean. I'm a virgin and want to know what things to avoid saying. There I admitted it.
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Fearless Freep
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 15
Posts: 2328


« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2002, 04:03:09 PM »

Difference between a wife, a lover, and a hooker

Hooker: Are you done yet?
Lover: Are you done already?
Wife: I think the ceiling needs painting

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=======================
Going places unmapped, to do things unplanned, to people unsuspecting
Lee
Guest
« Reply #2 on: September 15, 2002, 07:27:35 PM »

"Your kinkier than my girlfriend."
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Cullen
Bad Movie Lover
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Karma: 1
Posts: 734



WWW
« Reply #3 on: September 16, 2002, 12:38:31 AM »

Wait!  Wait!  Let me get the manual
Is that all?
Fido was never like this!
This is almost as good as when I'm alone!

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Cullen - Super Genius, Novelist, and all in all Great Guy.
yaddo42
Guest
« Reply #4 on: September 16, 2002, 01:06:36 AM »

Your sister lets me do that to her.
Your mother lets me do that to her.
You're better when you're sleeping.
I like it when you call me "Cousin Eddie".
Oh, Mom!
Can you say "baaa!" like a sheep?
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chris
Guest
« Reply #5 on: September 16, 2002, 03:33:56 AM »

Things not ta say:

The holocaust is a myth.
God you're ugly!
My bologna has a first name....
Check out this gay porn I rented!!!! (Bully reference)
Be quiet or I'll cut you b***h!

and try not to cry while doing it.  Ruins the mood.
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John
Guest
« Reply #6 on: September 16, 2002, 04:52:55 AM »

This is the second best sex I've ever had!
Am I as good as your father?
I'm trying out a new herpes medication, let me know if it's working.
Do you think your grandmother would be interested in a threesome?
By the way, I told my friends they could borrow you.
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Squishy
Guest
« Reply #7 on: September 16, 2002, 04:57:48 AM »

--"Ouch. Owwwwww. F***ing crabs."
--"Ouch. Owwwwww. Damn, let me get some lubricant."
--"Damn, that's hairy."
--"Is this a pimple or a boil?" ("Simpsons" reference)
--"Prepare to beam up."
--"Gojiraaaaa!!!"
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Luke Bannon
Guest
« Reply #8 on: September 16, 2002, 09:08:23 AM »

Uh, sorry about the tags I'm no good with names
You're great Sarah... it is Sarah isn't it?
Would you mind putting this bag on your head?
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Luke Bannon
Guest
« Reply #9 on: September 16, 2002, 09:10:53 AM »

Bend over and show me your dark side!
Cover me I'm going where no man has dared go before!
Now you aren't gonna tell anyone are you?
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Neville
Guest
« Reply #10 on: September 16, 2002, 09:15:27 AM »

"I feel the force". (from a spanish flick)
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Luke Bannon
Guest
« Reply #11 on: September 16, 2002, 09:18:28 AM »

You know my other girlfriend does it a lot longer.
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Luke Bannon
Guest
« Reply #12 on: September 16, 2002, 09:20:24 AM »

You look good in the dark. (from Microwave Masacurre)
OH CARL! Oops, I mean...
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Nathan Shumate
Guest
« Reply #13 on: September 16, 2002, 10:39:50 AM »

Squishy wrote:

> --"Gojiraaaaa!!!"


I dunno, there's a certain appeal to this one...  I'll see if I can report back.

Nathan
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raj
Guest
« Reply #14 on: September 16, 2002, 11:07:44 AM »

Next!
Do you always let your dog watch?
I gotta split in five minutes so let's hurry.
You're almost as good as my dildo/vibrator
I forget, how much do you charge? (unless she is a hooker, then it is only mildly bad).
(yawning)
(snoring)

And truly in bad taste and I apologize in advance:
You are HIV positive, right?
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