Pointless musings about movie violence

[John]

Here's another thing I hate in movies; railing that fall apart like balsa wood the second anyone so much as bumps into them. Railings that weak would be completely useless as a safety measure.

[str0ntiumd0g]

You have to admit that over the top movie violence can be the best thing ever. Prime example is Swartzenegger's Commando. What a stellar movie! The guy can mow down hundreds of elite (and I use the term loosely) rebel soldiers with an AK-47 and a single clip of ammo and an axe! That movie has more continuity errors than I thought was possible.

[Squishy]

"Why does EVERY car explode after a crash? None of them are Pintos, why are they always exploding? Okay, big boom cool, but everyone knows that wouldn't happen so why insist?"

You should see "Metro." You'd think cars were powered by nuclear weapons and napalm.

"I rather like when people get shot wearing a bullet proof vest, and fly back like 500 feet."

...and then get up, grunting lightly as if they'd just been hit in the chest by the class nerd's sister. Yeah, just walk it off. I'm waiting to see John McClane or one of his movie buddies running around kicking asses after getting a limb torn off. (Actually, it's probably already happened and I've missed it/forgotten about it.)

[Andrew]

> "I rather like when people get shot wearing a bullet proof
> vest, and fly back like 500 feet."
>
> ...and then get up, grunting lightly as if they'd just been
> hit in the chest by the class nerd's sister. Yeah, just walk
> it off. I'm waiting to see John McClane or one of his movie
> buddies running around kicking asses after getting a limb
> torn off. (Actually, it's probably already happened and I've
> missed it/forgotten about it.)

Denise Richards in "Starship Troopers" comes to mind here.  She had a large spike driven through her shoulder and is quickly up and about.  I've done some major damage to the cables and such in my shoulder (playing football with the other Marines) and can tell you that everything is connected there.  Even standing up hurt like a mother.

[Mofo Rising]

Insultingly Stupid Movie Physics

A site dedicated to most of the topics discussed in this thread.  Unlike some other "movie cliche" sites, this one actually bothers to discuss the actual physics involved.

[ahab]

I have always been a fan of grenades that cause near nuclear explosions when they go off. Those and the fact that common household furniture like sofas and chairs can stop automatic wepons fire. I had no idea that foam had that kind of stopping power ha ha ha.




Shop smart. Shop S-Mart.

[Flangepart]

Image over substance. Thats hollywood!
....Lets hope someone makes an action movie, and stands all these cliches on their pointy heads. Like inverted lawn gnomes.
....Hey, jsu because the hand rail is sturdily built, don't mean ya can't have railing kills!

[BlackAngel]

I don't know if it is similar, but the movie Predator, Carl Weathers had his whole arm cut off while holding (and still firing) an uzi.  (It's been a while since I seen it so I could be wrong)
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And may the Schwarts be with you

[BlackAngel]

I remember seeing Commando some time ago.  And something comes to mind, I forgot who the bad guys name is (but I've seen him on Power Rangers, JUST CHANNEL SURFING) but it seems Arnie is muscually bigger than this guy, yet, in the last fight scenes Arnie seems to struggle.  Granted he had to dispatch a lot of soldiers before getting to this guy.  Is this just for dramatic effect or what?

Speaking of muscular dominance, I forgot the title of the Hulk Hogan wrestling movie, but remember "Tiny" Lister, A.K.A Zues?  Do we really believe that this guy can hit and break some cinder blocks?  Please!

Another show that comes to mind is the A-Team.  With car jumping off ramps lopsided ( I call it the A/H jump [for A-Team/Hunter]).  Have anyone seen someone shoot a car with a sub automatic rifle to the point that hood comes flying off, sometimes off the hinges and the engine ( just the engine) exploding?  The answer to most of y'all might be no, but it seem more realistic  than a exploding car that can take out Hiroshima again.
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And may the Schwarts be with you.

[wheresthecarrot]

I recently saw an episode of Tales from the Crypt where this girl had her arm ripped off, and just wandered around with a t-shirt wrapped around it shooting bad guys and being p**sed off 'bout her arm getting ripped off.....very silly

[John Morgan]

Look at the video clip for the movie CARNOSAUR.  The girl gets her leg ripped of by a dinosaur and doesn't seem to be in any pain!  Her reaction is like, "Oh I'm glad thats over."

[Dano]

Squishy wrote:  I'm waiting to see John McClane or one of his movie buddies running around kicking asses after getting a limb torn off. (Actually, it's probably already happened and I've missed it/forgotten about it.)
*****  One of the old men from Braveheart's village - Hamish's dad I think - got his hand chopped off at the Battle of Stirling Bridge (where was that bridge again??)and kept right on fighting.

[John]

You know, considering how often movies ignore reality, I had a great idea; make a complete normal drama, but have everyone able to fly, but have no explanation for it, just treat it as a normal occurance. People would be sitting in the audience thinking "What the hell's going on? Is this a SF movie?".

[Mofo Rising]

John wrote:
>
> You know, considering how often movies ignore reality, I had
> a great idea; make a complete normal drama, but have everyone
> able to fly, but have no explanation for it, just treat it as
> a normal occurance. People would be sitting in the audience
> thinking "What the hell's going on? Is this a SF movie?".

You know, that's kind of close to CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON.

Okay, maybe not.

[Squishy]

I had an idea a while back for a live-action "Justice League" movie; it starts off with a comic-book artist waking up in the wee hours to answer the phone. A colleague has a fantastic idea for a comic book: superheroes. The artist tells him it's too boring and hangs up. He goes to the window and looks out at the sunrise.

And a pair of spandex-wearing metahumans fly past.

As he scans the horizon, we see several of them flying about or swinging or leaping from roof to roof. The artist doesn't react; he just changes into Green Lantern and zips out the window.

Across town, Mr. Kent kisses his sleepy wife and does likewise.

Just a little later, Lex Luthor gives a speech to his newly-assembled fellow supervillains that covers the history of superheroes, over a newsreel of old black-and-white footage of the Justice Society of America during WWII--including a shot of the original Green Lantern flying over Manhattan next to the plane he is being filmed from--and color shots of more recently seen metas, magicians, spooks, vigilantes, and so forth.

Bam! We've established a new world history, introduced the lesser-known heroes without detailed origin stories, caught up some aspects of their histories that might not be well known, and the opening credits haven't run.

(The rest of the story--lifted from assorted big DC comics like "Kingdom Come"--dealt with Superman creating the JLA to organize and inspire the burgeoning and dangerous population of metahumans, and Luthor's attempts to use it to destroy all metahumans. Naturally, it almost works, but the JLA's unnamed background "secret" member, Batman, pops up in the last half-hour, backed by approximately seventy minor super-characters, to save Supes, Wonder Woman, Flash, and Lantern's butts. Martian Manhunter goes from being Luthor's tool to joining the team, and Aquaman would join in the sequel after Atlantis went to war with the rest of the world.)