King Kong jr.

[raj]

It appears there is a monkey on the loose in Japan:
http://mdn.mainichi.co.jp/news/20021202p2a00m0dm035000c.html

Um, Mr. Monkey, apes should be rampaging in New York, it is lizard types which ramage in Japan.

[Squishy]

"Hey, we big monkeys go nuts in Japan too! Ook ook! We fly balloon, fight big lizard, swim, fight big robot. But big monkey movies never tell whole story, east or west--why they never show special poo-flinging technique? You be surprised how far a good pitch from Tokyo Tower go! That how I blinded Mechani-Kong right back! Me show! Look!"
--Drunk in Toho "Kong" suit, Shibuya Station, just prior to arrest

The moral of raj's story is: don't feed the damn dirty apes, they'll put their stinking paws all over you.

[J.R.]

Last summer in India there were reports that people were thrown from rooftops and killed by a wild ape-like beast. In the end it turned out a couple of kids were running around with a fur coat and people jumped in fear. They also hold weddings for cows to ensure good harvest. And these people have the Bomb.