70's cop drama cliches

[Mr.E]

Heres a few
1. Always ended at seedy motels
2. One low-life informant
3. Old woman who just types at the station
4. Angry black police chief
5. Handle-bar mustaches
6. Great reflector sunglasses
 
Ahh...the 70's

[Scott0]

All walk around with their thumbs in their belt.
Never play "by the rules"

Ughh.... the 70's

[fireal]

Every episode must include a high speed car chase preferably through a back alley full of rubbish and/or cardboard boxes.

[The Burgomaster]

1. A likeable old cop who gets killed a week before his retirement from the force

2. A frail, cowardly henchman who talks tough while the hero is tied up, but ends up getting his ass kicked (or killed) at the end

3. A pimp with a big hat and a fur coat

4. A waitress at the diner who always flirts with the hero, but never has sex with him

5. The hero's wife was killed several years earlier, and her memory still haunts him

6. Sideburns

7. The hero argues with the police chief, the commissioner, the judge, the mayor, the governor, etc., but in the end, the hero is always right

8. The hero accidentally killed an innocent person earlier in his career because of his "vigilante" style of police work

9. One of the guys on the force constantly gives the hero a hard time. At the end, he turns out to be the bad guy.

10. A hooker decides to "go straight," but gets killed by her pimp.

11. There is an investigation in a run-down apartment building that has graffiti spray painted on the walls.

12. There is at least one scene inside a subway station

13. Wherever the hero goes, he gets a parking space directly in front of the building

14. The hero doesn't ever need to start his car . . . he just jumps in and magically starts to drive

15. There is at least one stakeout where guys are drinking coffee in a seedy hotel room late at night. The only lighting in the room is from a flashing neon sign outside the window.

16. The hero gets some key information from a laundry owner in Chinatown.

17. There is a reporter (often a woman) snooping around who almost screws up the investigation. At the end, the reporter plays a key role in capturing the villain.

18. There is at least one Irish cop and one Italian cop - and they are both stereotypes

19. The hero seems to be on a 24-hour shift. Sometimes he investigates during the day, sometimes at night, sometimes just before dawn, sometimes at twilight . . .

20. The hero's gun never runs out of bullets . . . except at the end when he has a clear shot at the villain . . .

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[Damien]

1... One shot will hit dead center on the forehead, even if the hero just runs in the room from the side of the killer.

2... Cops have unregistered side-arms hidden on their legs, for back-up or drop-offs

3... Cops dont call for back up (no time)

4... Cops that call for back up gets killed.

5... Other drivers dont pull over if they hear police and see police cars flashing by.

6... Car chases ends up on the wrong side of the road.

7... Durring a car chase, cops will fire out of a window.

8... The chase ends with when the bad guys crash in a big window because some hot dog vendor is in the way.

9... Cops know's the best hot dog vendors (maybe because the vendors help stop the car chase)

10... Cops dont know how to use the computer.

11... Cops dont know how to type and must type a report to explains their actions.

12... Cops will quit thier job, before taking suspention.

13... A .44 mag can stop a car with one shot, but cannot kill a bad guy with one shot. Sometimes it takes 3 or 4 shots to put a guy down.

14... Cops know martial arts that can combat martial art masters.

15... Cops that dont know martial arts can out fight a martial artist.

16... Cops dont like their new partner at first, and become best friends afterwords.

17... Without this one cop places like New York, Chicago, or LA would get way out of hand. (it dosent matter how many cops are in the police force)

18... Police work is a 24 hour 7 days a week... For each cop...

19... Cops dont get paid for over time (well if they work for 24 hours 7 days a week... 128 hours of over time they dont get paid for)

20... Cops that go under cover must kill or hurt an innocent that ends up blowing their cover...

[The Burgomaster]

And here are some more to add to my previous list . . .

21. The hero is a really tough cop, but about half way through the movie, we learn that he has a mild mannered skill or hobbie (he likes to listen to classical music, he is a gourmet chef, etc.)

22. The villain always says, "All you cops are the same . . . you'll never understand someone like me . . . "

23. The hero is usually trying to kick a bad habit like smoking. He fails miserably until the end. After he shoots the villain, he reaches for a cigarette, pauses for a moment, grins, drops the cigarette, and walks off into the sunset.

24. At least once during the movie, the hero will be hit on the head with the butt of a gun or a lead pipe. His skull will not be fractured, he will not need stitches, and he will not have a concussion. He will wake up, rub his head, and get back in his car.

25. One of the co-stars is either Harry Guardino or Bradford Dillman.

26. The hero is best friends with a stripper.

27. The hero bribes someone at either the coroner's office or the evidence room at the police station to do something extremely illegal. ("Let me borrow the murder weapon for 48 hours . . . there's $20 in it for you . . . ")

28. In addition to being a champion stunt car driver, the hero also knows how to fly helicopters, drive speedboats, operate cable cars, etc.

29. No one in the department ever solved a crime unless the hero was involved in the investigation.

30. The coffee they serve at the police department is always terrible.

31. Whenever the hero walks into his office, we see a hooker in the background, handcuffed to a chair, with the arresting officer sitting at a desk typing her arrest report.

32. The police station always has old, wooden desks and chairs, is very poorly lit, has stacks of paper everywhere, and has a calendar on the wall that says, "March 1971."

33. There is at least one scene in the locker room at the police station where everyone is standing around talking, naked, except for towels around their waists.

34. Cops "work all their lives for a lousy pension."

35. If a cop's wife leaves him for another man, the cop goes on a shooting spree.

36. The local gun merchant will sell weapons and ammunition to a person who is obviously insane.

37. If the plot involves a liquor store robbery, you can be sure that: 1) someone will get hit on the head with a bottle and 2) someone will fire a shotgun at a shelf loaded with bottles.

38. During a robbery (usually a bank), the bad guys will tell everyone to stand still. However, one idiot will either: 1) try to sneak up on one of the robbers and end up getting shot or 2) try to set off the alarm, and end up getting shot.

39. At some point, the hero will decide that it is a good idea to jump onto the roof or the hood of a speeding getaway car. For the next several minutes, a stunt man will hang onto the car for dear life as it swerves down the street.

40. The hero carries around a bullet that he either: 1) saved after it was surgically removed from his own body or 2) dug out of the wall after the bullet passed through his partner's body, killing the man.

41. The opening credits say, "Music by Lalo Schifrin."

42. The end credits say, "We would like to thank the people of Los Angeles for their assistance in filming this movie."

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[Damien]

More that comes to mind here...

21... Most cops are devorced... and those that are married get shot.

22... Partners are given for punishment from something did earlier.

23... Bad guys are released from jail, because a cop has forgotten to read his rights.

24... The hero will shoot the bad guy as he is reading is rights.

25... Porn theators are run by fat old greek guys.

26... Porn shops are run by sexy hot blonds.

27... More information is given by a Drag Queen Hooker type.

28... All a pimp do is beat up, steal, torcher and kill their hookers... very rarely they well get them out of jail.

29... The cops ex-wife marries a member from the mob.

30... Sometimes it takes a while for cops to fugure out what is going on, even if its clearly seen...

31... The good guy looks like a looser, that hasnt shaved in weeks or even changed their cloths.

32... Cops wear suits with ties, and only wear a uniform when punished.

33... Punishment is traffic duity.

34... Eyewitness is a sexy female.

35... Female cops are sexy 105 lbs females that are no older then 22 years that can kick the butt off a male police officer that is twice there weight.

36... most cops are pot-belly except for the hero.

37... At home, a cop answers their door with a cocked pistol.

38... At home, a cop sleeps with a gun under their pillow.

39... chases on foot ends up on roof tops, and the bad guy gets away by making a 15 foot jump across to the next building. The cop ends up falling into a dump truck.

40... Cops uses hookers, reporters, or eyewitness (instead of other cops) as pawns to catch the bad guys.

[Damien]

wow... speaking about Bruce Dern (World Gone Wild) and 70's cop drama cliches... I'm thinking of watching "The Laughing Policeman" tonight... :D

[The Burgomaster]

LAUGHING POLICEMAN is a very good police movie that a lot of people have forgotten. I haven't seen it in at least 15 years.

[Damien]

Best cast ever! with lots of "cliches" and watching this movie you could see that the actors are having fun durring filming... very rare with many movies...

[when actors are having fun durring filming they are not stiff... they do things and add extra elements to the film that couldnt be in the script]

[yaddo42]

At least one shootout, car chase, or foot chase will involve a grocery store. And shelves of breakfast cereal will be hit by shotgun pellets while the hero ducks or scrambles for cover. Corn flakes fly when the boxes are hit and the hero will have to dust cereal off his clothes and out of his hair.

The hero will live like a slob, with his home littered with old pizza boxes, Chinese take out boxes, dirty clothes, empty beer and liquor bottles, and tons of vinyl record albums (usually Motown, Stax, or sometimes jazz) scattered about the place. Despite the fact that he is ALWAYS on the job and rarely seems to be home.

[Deej]

The average "'70's cop on the edge" earns enough honest money to afford a houseboat and a vintage muscle car.

The only grooming standards cops had in the 70's....feathered hair!

Cops in the 70's recieved special training for running in tight trousers and high heeled boots.

The average 70's cop wears an inordinate amount of vinyl. Usually burnt orange vinyl jackets, and burnt orange Dingo boots

Badguys all drive pale green Ford LTD's.

The hubcaps on all Badguy driven Ford LTD's, will NOT stay on the vehicle during a turn.

Windows in the 70's were built to shatter split seconds before a car drove through them,

70's Cops do NOT carry department issue sidearms, they must carry custom weaponry, preferably with ivory or pearl grips and a huge phallic barrel.

70's  cops will spend some part of their day chasing someone up or down a fire
escape.

Cops in the 70's could abuse and disregard the civil rights of all but the main badguy, this would be cause for suspension.

An average 70's cop will, at some point during their day, drive over a hill at a high rate of speed causing them to be airborne for several slow-mo seconds. No 70's cop car will be damaged upon landing.

[The Burgomaster]

And even MORE . . .

41. A purse snatcher will try to grab an old lady's purse, but she will pull it away from him and start beating him with it.

42. The cops have no friends except for other cops; they all hang around together every night at the same bar.

43. There is always a scene where a crime lord is relaxing in his home with a beautiful woman who is 20 years younger than he is. In this scene, the crime lord is dressed in a silk bathrobe and slippers, and is sipping a cocktail.

44. The thieves spend a lot of time loading stolen fur coats into vans in broad daylight, on the busiest street in the city.

45. The hero will confront a gang of muscle-bound bikers and will easily beat up all of them. Then he will put his foot on the leader's chest and say something like, "Okay, I'm gonna ask you one more time . . ."

46. The hero will show up at a crowded restaurant where the crime lord is eating dinner with a couple of henchmen and a bunch of beautiful women. The hero will loudly threaten the crime lord, and then leave.

47. Someone will end up in the trunk of a car with his mouth taped shut.

48. Cab drivers will drive 70 miles per hour down the sidewalk if you tip them $20.

49. A police sketch artist will draw a perfect portrait of the killer based on a description provided by a woman who only saw him for 10 seconds in a dark alley.

50. During a bank robbery, one of the robbers will always remove his mask and someone will recognize him and tell the police.

51. The medical examiner either talks about food or makes morbid jokes while he is performing an autopsy.

52. The hero can shoot people's heads off with powerful guns, yet he gets sick when he watches an autopsy.

53. The killer will call the hero on the phone and taunt him in a disguised voice.

54. There is always a transitional scene that shows people walking up and down the stairs in front of the courthouse.

55. A woman will scream and there will be a quick edit to either a telephone ringing or a train screeching into the station.

56. There will be a chase scene through an amusement park that will end up at the top of a ferris wheel.

57. During a car chase, some foreigners will almost get hit by a car. They will turn around, shake their fists at the car, and yell in a foreign language.

58. There is always a scene at the fish pier.

59. The hero always knows where to get "the best Chinese food in town."

60. No matter where you are in the police station, you can always hear the sound of a typewriter.

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[Damien]

Great work The Burgomaster I feel like I should add some more...

41... In a police station, somebody will try to escape. Even handcuffed behind thier back.

42... In a police station, a hooker is doing her nails while chewing on bubblegum.

43... In a police station, a crazy will enter with a bomb.

44... In a police station, an arrested suspect will try to steal a gun, and ends up getting shot by the hero. [Because the other officers are taking cover]

45... In a police station, the computer is in the basement and can be operated by a homely female that the hero has to romance for information.

46... In a police station, Somebody is shouting for "Where is my Paper Clips"

47... In a police station, a reporter is asking for an inside scoope.

48... Doors could be knocked in with one kick, or shoulder thrust.

49... Bad guys are skilled to shoot the chain off the handcuffs while being handcuft.

50... Escaping from a prision requires a tunnel and 5 men (one of which always makes lots of noise).

51... Escape convects can walk the streets all day in their prision uniform and not get notice, but once they change their clothes that are found.

52... A perfect desguise requires... Shoe polish, hat, sunglasses and a radio by the ear.

53... A not so perfect desguise requires... Hair Dye, hat, sunglasses, and something covering the face.

54... A car thief will have a ring of 200 car keys and would be able to find the right key within 20 seconds.

55... The hero can find parking in front of city hall.

56... Cops in car during a stake out get their necks slash (both driver and passanger, and the killer is a single person, too.)

57... Killers will knock-out the hero, and plant the weapon by him. (This frame job works almost 99.9% of the time... the cop ends up getting suspended, fired or sent to jail)

58... Hero's are always set to general population in prision where they have to fight some mussle bond boldheaded guy.

59... In jail, the hero always gets a job for mopping the floors at night.

60... Prisoners make fun about droping the soap in the showers.

[Fearless Freep]

A perfect desguise requires... Shoe polish, hat, sunglasses and a radio by the ear.[/i[

I laughed as Gene Wilder in "Silver Streak" came to mind