Flangepart
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
Karma: 653
Posts: 9477
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« on: May 02, 2003, 01:37:51 PM » |
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Bad news...i'm back!
Stars?: Vin Desial, Asia Argento, Marton Csokas.Samuel L . Jackson.
Plot?: Danger Junkie Xander Gage (Vin D.) gets "Requested" by Unc. Sam to infiltrate a Russian Gang wanting to go Biowar upside the worlds head. Xander then shoots, stabs, kicks and blows up many a Russian nogoodnick. Da?
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STUFF TO WATCH FOR!! :::
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....Tuxecidos are the movie equivilant of a "Kick me" sign.
....Lets see...the senator is a jerk with a red Corvett...can you say "Gone in 60 seconds?"
....Yeah, if i wanted to avoid government retibution, i'd hold a big loud party too.
....Samuel L. Jackson. A real actor...so, whats he doing here?
....Yeah, i've been in diners like that too...
....Laapes via. C-123. Just how many movies has that plane been in, anyway?
....Neck Tatoo as scene change device. Well, it is original...
....Columbian drug lords blow up real good.
....Bald guys stick together, don't they?
....The bike on the exploding tin roof. Bet they do that in Vagas soon.
....Agent Shavers: He's Xander's Q and comedy relief. Man, I realy miss Desmond Lewellian right about now....
....If Kenneth Strickfadden ever designed a night club...
....Argento's character may be Xander's main squeese, but i'd call her a one bagger...
....Opera= cruel and unuseual to a heavy metal guy.
....Stupid, stupid biowar boffins! Did you realy think the villian Yorgi would let you live? Heres a group size Darwin award connin at ya.
....The Avalanche scene. 0 points for plausability, but 10 out of 10 for style.
...."Smokeing is bad for your health"joke...engaged!
....Yorgi, don't encourage the hero to shoot better...he just might.
....Lets see....the hero is chaseing a solar powered submarine, filled with biowar missles, in a GTO with the full lethal options package. This differs from the Bond series how, exactly?
....Oh, and the submarine is acting as a hydrofoil, so the GTO can chase it down a river....no, i'm not makeing that up.....no, realy...
And, finaly (Yea)...Ah, the obligitory sequal set up. How quaint.
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Flangepart says: Check it out. If for noghing else, to see how much XXX follows the path of the Bond franchise, rather then diverging from it. See, if Band and Xander were not similarly decent guys who liked civilisation as it is...they would have joined the bad guys, insted of snuffing them.
----------------------------------- Back to you, Andrew!----------------------------------------------
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