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September 24, 2018, 02:50:10 PM
606307 Posts in 46777 Topics by 6221 Members
Latest Member: JimBuzacot Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  Somebody1 Do a report on the last action hero FFS! « previous next »
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Author Topic: Somebody1 Do a report on the last action hero FFS!  (Read 1534 times)
« on: July 07, 2001, 11:10:44 AM »

Ok: Let's see main actor: Arnold Schwarnegger! A police officer named Jack Slater. He tries to be funny.
There are a lot of others but i need someone else to watch it and finish this for me.

Plot: Kid gets sucked into a movie from some magic ticket given to him by some senile old guy, he then has some reatrded adventure and the hero, Arnold aka Jack Slater ends up in the "real world" where he doesn't know what's going on. It's a lot worse if you watch it, but this is the bare minimum of what happens. In then end Jack ends up back in the movie and everything is happy again.

Things i have learnt from this movie:
Old people believe anything you tell them
Sicilian mafia guys can't get cliches correct.
Nuns, woman and children all carry Submachine guns at funerals.
Every night in New York it rains.
Glass eyeballs are really C4 explosives.
Golden tickets given out by harry houdini are really dimensional portals.
If a celebrity is under attack the celeb has to do the heroism, not the bodyguards.
Every person in New York is poor.
At closed down movie theartres there are receptionists.
People who were huge farters in the past release nerve gas at funerals.
People with very bad eyesight and wear glasses can see a guys eyes through sunglasses.
And a lot more things.

Stuff to watch for: Need some other person to watch the film and list all the random acts of violence, including a random act of violence against a corpse, and a taxi.


Kid: This is a movie! (said at least 9 million times)

Jack: I'll be back, HA! You didn't know i was gonna say that!

Chick: You were in a movie?
Jack: yes, it was called, the girl of my dreams, it starred you.

Glasseye: If God were a villan he'd be me.

Jack: You've heard i'll be back, yippee yi yay, well try this, rubber ducky wippy yo yo yip! HA! You didn't know i was gonna say that!

Kid: (first words out his mouth) I was in the movie!
Old senile guy: oh my god, it really works.

Mother: Do you like Classical?
Jack: I think i will (listening to Mozart)

Kid: this is gonna work, this is gonna work...oh s**t! i'm a comedy sidekick! it's not gonna WOOOOOORK!

Glassye (after shooting a guy many times): excuse me? I just killed someone, and i'm admitting someone arrest me!
A guy who sounds tired: hey shut up willya!

Well that's as much as i got, by that much i think should be not enough, i just need someone to get a more extensive one please.

Thanx, Mike
« Reply #1 on: July 07, 2001, 05:45:49 PM »

There's a very detailed quasi-structural analysis of Last Action Hero published in the book "Good Scripts, Bad Scripts" by Thomas Pope. He goes so far as to compare the story structure to Hamlet (to point out where LAH fails).

Here's part of the wrapup:

"There was a deeper problem which I believe fatally doomed LAH before 'The End' was written on the first draft. Put simply, LAH punches a hole between the worlds of illusion and reality. It satirizes movie formulas. It reminds you that it's all a made-up con job. The only movies that tried this in the past and were successful were small-market art house films. Warner Brothers weren't aiming for this selective audience. They were swinging for the bleachers. They were aiming at the great unwashed.

Only the great unwashed didn't want to pay good money to wacth a summer release called Last Action Hero and have their illusions shattered. They wanted to keep their dreams intact. They still do."

There is a great  irony associated with this book titled "Good Scripts, Bad Scripts." Thomas Pope also co-wrote the script for "The Manitou."  :)
peter johnson
« Reply #2 on: July 07, 2001, 09:27:07 PM »

Hudson Hawk flopped madly just a few years before this.  Think those involved attended the same parties?  Of course they did -- This has always seemed to me a case of "Anything you can do, I can do better! . . .", within the rairified atmosphere of Hollywood deal-making.
In point of fact, I didn't hate this film as much as I thought I would.  There were actual moments of genuine humour -- for me -- and  the back-and-forth nature of the time-travel/dimension-travel thing didn't lose me at all.
In general, I hope we can at least support mainstream Hollywood when they try something different.  Let's all remember that years ago Slaughterhouse Five was considered a mainstream Hollywood Film.  As was Citizen Kane, for that matter .. ..
For as many nasty doo-doos  are dropped, the possibility is always in place for a real exercise in art --
« Reply #3 on: July 09, 2001, 11:08:04 AM »

Good thought, Abby. Its okey in a film to do a throwaway line, but to rub the audiences faces in the unreality of whats going on, could be a real throatcutter. I does break the Willing Suspension of disbelief that we need to like a good film.............bad films, on the other hand, haveing disatisfied us already, and lost our respect, deserve all the MISTying they get! Hence, the fun in haveing a riff line that not only reminds you what your watching is not real, but offering alternate ways of viewing the action on screen!            Hero in GORGO: "I'd say he died of fright. " "TOM: Oh, it coulden't have been all the boiled back bacon he ate all his life...  "
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