A recent movie viewings thread. Comments/own viewings definitely welcome.

[Rumyungyungsonson]

Before I begin, I would like to do a quick impression for those who are familiar with Reign of Darkness.  My impression of David Allen and Kel Dolen: "You know, our writing is so damn good, we should feature a lot of it in narrational form in our movie."  Yep, I watched it again (with a friend this time) and as mentioned before, for some strange reason, I like it.  I give it three slimes.
Something I learned from this movie: The U.S. Marines teach you how to use nunchucks.

Iron Monkey was another movie I watched recently (my second viewing) and it is very enjoyable.  I give it four slimes for great fighting and great costumes.
Something I learned from this movie: Blood looks a lot like thick tomato soup.

Return of the Living Dead part II.  As far as Zombie movies go, this one is quite a let down.  It just isn't good (which can be okay for a zombie movie), and isn't enjoyable (which can't be okay for, um, any movie).  The zombies are ridiculous, and the characters are not appealing.  Come on now, zombies that talk, and have memory? Not good.  Its humor is also, well, non-existant. It does feature that one guy from Alien From L.A. and Friday the 13th part VI, which made it somewhat enjoyable, but otherwise, a total flop of a movie.  The premise itself isn't that interesting either.  Not to totally avoid because it is a zombie movie, however, I give it only one slime.
Something I learned from this movie: Even when braindead, you still have memory.

Iron Monkey II.  Pretty good.  The Iron Monkey is now an investigator who doesn't take kindly to those who don't answer his questions.  He goes on an investigation in this movie (go figure) to find out who killed, uh, hmm, damn I don't remember and I just got done watching it too.  Oh well, he finally is lead to the killer who happens to also know the art of monkey fist fighting.  More good fighting.  Lots of impalings too.  I give it four slimes as well.
Something I learned from this movie: Twisting someone's arm makes the same sound as punching someone.

Lastly I got to see Story of Ricky.  This movie is awesome! I love it.  I finally got a copy of it which made me very happy.  As if that wasn't enough, the DVD features the trailer to my all-time favorite movie: Last Hurrah For Chivalry.  It also featured the trailer of Duel to the Death, which I have been waiting to see for quite a while. Story of Ricky has now become my third favorite movie, ranking just before Dead Alive.  Easily five slimes.
Something I learned from this movie: Stairs are quite difficult to walk down.

[JohnL]

>Come on now, zombies that talk, and have memory?

The Zombies in the first and third ones talked as well. Remember when the young guy finally died, became a zombie and chased his girlfriend while asking to eat her brain. And who can forget "Send more paramedics."

[Rumyungyungsonson]

I haven't seen any other Return of the Living Dead movie, and frankly, I'm beginning to think I'm not missing anything... zombie movie or not.

[JohnL]

>I haven't seen any other Return of the Living Dead movie, and frankly, I'm
>beginning to think I'm not missing anything... zombie movie or not.

When you think about it, all zombies have to retain some memory, or else they wouldn't remember how to walk.

[Rumyungyungsonson]

In Day of the Dead, aren't they explained to have instinct?  This would explain why they eat humans when they don't need to, and know how to walk.  Unfortunately, it seems the zombies also demonstrate the ability to remember in that movie, since Bub used a gun for example.  I still think it's rediculous, but that's just my opinion.  I guess I just don't understand how something that has been in the state of braindeath for awhile could ever retain memory.  Oh well.

[NEC]

All That Jazz (1979)

Fairly loosly based on aspects of his own life, director/choreographer Bob Fosse directed this awesome song and dance (with the accent on dance) drama, sprinkled lightly with ironic humor and fantasy touches. IMHO, Joe Gideon is one of Roy Scheider's best roles, and he give one of his best performances. The chorus of dancers, which includes Sandahl Bergman (who previously had been in a few Fosse shows including 1978's Dancin' ), is excellent in their talents as well as appealing. The female characters interactions with Gideon are inexplicable, yet you understand - He screws around with their emotions, yet they still love him or at least respect him opinion because he's a lovable guy that knows what he's talking about. The cast is filled with many familiar actors in wonderful character roles (or in Ann Reinking's case - a character loosely based on her) including Jessica Lange, Max Wright (the dad from ALF), Cliff Gorman, Fosse regular Ben Vereen, and John Lithgow among others. It is also very much a documentation of the late '70s, but in a strange way nothing looks silly or horribly dated. All That Jazz won and was nominated for numerous Academy as well as BAFTA awards. I truly feel it's an underrated, and maybe even forgotten film in some circles. I highly recommend it.

[Rumyungyungsonson]

A Clockwork Orange.  What is it about this movie that so many people like.  I just don't understand at all.  It is so boring.  I couldn't even figure out the plot until over half way through this unnecessarily long movie, which is certainly not a good thing.  I think the main character was the most annoying person in this film, especially at the end when he felt for some reason he should eat like a moron.  Not good in any way.  One slime for this piece of crap.
Something I learned from this movie: People with five chins should not smile.

Deathstalker IV: Match of the Titans.  What a breath of almost fresh air.  This was certainly much more enjoyable than A Clockwork Orange was.  I had only seen Deathstalker III before this, and that was by way of MST3K, and in all fairness, Deathstalker IV is only slightly better.  Even though this movie is so bad, it is done in such a cheese mannor that it makes watching this film quite enjoyable.  The movie is based around some tournament that Deathstalker joins, and that is about it.  You get to see scenes from Deathstalker III and probably also the first two movies. Deathstalker apparently had his magical sword switched with someone elses durring movie number three and found out that it was being kept at the tournament.  He goes with some female kind of warrior companion where they battle others one-on-one in a not really exciting manor.  No, the sword fighting is not real good in this movie either.  Ator could easily kick Deathstalker's ass, especially when Deathstalker is played by John Allen Relson, er I mean, Nelson.  As silly and stupid as this movie is, I surprised myself when I found myself laughing at a part that was supposed to be funny.  Strange.  At any rate, this movie is worth three slimes.
Something I learned from this movie: Petrification is really thinly disguised bad make-up.

The Barbarians... 1987 style.  Wow, what a movie.  This one is even dumber than Deathstalker IV.  Twins star as barbarians in this one.  As far as being mindless and brainless, I have never seen barbarianism portrayed so very well.  I mean these two are rock stupid.  They also happen to make a very annoying noise when ever they are getting strangled, see a topless female, getting kissed by a female, or ripping arms off of monsters.  The first time I heard this movie mention dragon I thought to myself "well Dragonslayer was made around this time, so maybe their dragon will look good as well". Hell no! This is quite possibly the most rediculous looking dragon I have ever seen in a movie.  This movie also features Richard Lynch as the main villian.  I guess I just haven't had enough Lynch recently.  This is only the second time I have seen him in a movie and I must say, he isn't that bad of an actor.  Any actor who can say nose to anus with a straight face can't be all wrong.  I had a difficult time following the plot of this movie mainly because its stupidity was drawing me in.  I just couldn't get over how dumb those barbarians were.  Amazing. Two slimes.
Something I learned from this movie: Always remember to turn the safety off before using a crossbow.

Ancient Evil: Scream of the Mummy.  I have come to the sad realization that mummies can never possibly be scary.  They are the slowest moving monsters in existence (next to the Creeping Terror) and yet they continue to kill many people.  What gives.  I can't even say "well the mummy was attacking elderly and disabled people so I guess it could catch up" because it killed mostly college students in this movie, and not 50's college students whose age averages 50 anyway.  The only way this one manages to catch up to it's victims is my moving silently.  A zombie could kick a mummie's ass any day is what I guess I'm trying to say.  Now onto the movie.  After viewing this film, I believe it belongs back on the bottom 100 list at the IMDb.  No less then 50% of this movie is somebody looking for somebody.  That is no way to do, well, any movie.  The plot is dumb in its own way which I can certainly overlook, however, the movie is just too slow of a pace for me.  I couldn't enjoy this movie much at all.  The killings are horribly done.  You never get to see it happen because the cinematographer is too busy focusing on a leg or something.  It has "A Full Moon Production" written all over it, however, oddly enough, it isn't.  If you like this movie, I recommend you try finding Being From Another Planet aka Time Walker.  I have no idea which film is worse.  One slime for this bomb (still, it was more enjoyable then A Clockwork Orange)
Something I learned from this movie:  Slicing someone repeatedly with a blade produces a lot of blood, but no wounds.

Beyond Dream's Door.  Let's see here, someone who hasn't dreamed since he was a child, starts dreaming again.  He apparently is able to bring some sort of monster out of his dreams and draw others  into his dream land of make-believe and misfortune.  Everyone (important to the movie) he comes across ends up dying by some semi-giant skinless mutant dog which looks awesome.  This is one of the best looking monst- okay I lied.  Its silly looking, but definately in a good way.  The main character finds some book that has a psychosis case just like his in it which the monster wants back I think.  Something happens to the book but the main character (names in this movie are superfluous) manages to keep a very important page.  Everyone dies except the main character who gets trapped by the monster doggie.  However, he trapped the monster on the other side of some trapdoor to some building so everything turns out okay at the end of the movie.  This was one confusing film.  I'll be kind and give it a three slime rating.
Something I learned from this movie: Many psychosis cases involve running showers.

Black Eagle's Blade.  Average kung fu flick.  My biggest complaint is that this film's subtitles didn't fit my 32" screen.  This made following the movie very difficult, so I basically watched the movie and ignored the words.  The opening credits tune is very catchy, and this is coming from someone who doesn't like music.  I couldn't help but whistle along with it each time it came on.  The first ten minutes is the best part of the movie which is okay because the rest of the movie doesn't go downhill, it just isn't quite as good.  Just like almost every other kung fu movie, a guy gets robbed, well, almost robbed, in the beginning of the film.  He happens to have... oh forget it.  I couldn't follow the words well enough to understand the movie all together, and if I was going to explain this movie to anyone in a way that would make it seem like I knew what was going on, I would have to watch it a few more times.  Overall it's an average Kung Fu movie (meaning it's good) and it has a catchy tune in the beginning that is played several times in the first ten minutes at odd times.  I guess any midget in a kung fu movie is worth mentioning, and I couldn't help but laugh when I saw him for the first time, and the last time, and basically any other time.  Three slimes.
Something I learned from this movie: Midgets can die from someone falling on them.

That is all for now.  There should be some more soon because I want to see as many B-movies before going to boot camp as possible.  After 091503 I'll be gone for quite a while.

[Fearless Freep]

A Clockwork Orange. -Thought the ending was maybe too subtle and maybe not as profound as the director wanted it to be


The Barbarians... - Oh, amn was tis some mindless silly fun.  Gotta love the animatronic dragon (who has a gig at a Chuck.E.Cheese pizza place these days..plays bass)  I think the people making this movie had a heck of a lot of fun and the twins did have some good quips, and Richard Lynch is still one creepy looking dude


I have come to the sad realization that mummies can never possibly be scar

Mummies really only work well in an older style of horror based on suspense and unknown dark shadows.

[Rumyungyungsonson]

Night of the Scarecrow. Here's your straw monster.  Your typical killer scarecrow movie, except this one gets possessed by the spirit of a warlock from red lightning from the ground.  As the scarecrow, he goes and kills people who would know where his book of magic spells is at which he wants back.  Why does he kill all the people who know where the book is at? It doesn't matter, the director found an internal loophole in the movie. Well, a not too bright relative of one of the killed and her newly met boyfriend get the book out of its hiding because it has the secret of how to destroy the warlock once and for all.  They learn of this from a priest relative who tells them of the warlock and the founding of their town (one of her killed relatives is the town mayor).  In this story telling, accompanied by scenes, we get to see a highly gratuitous orgy involving people in their 50's or so, very disgusting and just plain wrong. Yuck.  Anyway, they get the book and find out that they need to destroy the bones of the warlock which are kept in the ground where the lightning came from.  What gets me is that they know the warlock/scarecrow is after the book, so when they find out how to stop it, why don't they destroy the book? But that's not important to a writer or director.  Brutal killings and the like; I'm sure you can guess how it ends.  A generous three slimes.
Something I learned from this movie: Straw is very sharp.

Grim. Okay, bare with me.  Apparently, the demon that Bob Jackass summoned in Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders moved to some cave somewhere, where it takes people with it back to the cave by moving through walls.  How can the people move through walls as well?  Who cares.  Certainly not the director.  Some people doing something in the cave walk around.  They walk around.  They continue to walk around.  In a very important turning point in the movie, they walk around some more.  These people are walking, walking around.  After walking around for forty minutes or so, they walk around some more.  But this time, some get taken by Grim.  Some of the people go psycho for no reason.  I was waiting (and hoping) for these people to walk into Troy and Zap; no such luck.  Grim, on the other hand, has dumb looking Pumaman vision, only its fuzzy.  Grim kills people (who knows why), and keeps others alive (who knows why).  Grim gets crushed by boulders, but comes back for more.  I don't remember how it ends, and I don't care. The ending credits come about an hour too late. This film proves that movies can exist without a plot.  I found myself laughing many times at the horrendousness of this movie which is the only thing that kept me from giving it a skull rating.  One slime.
Something I learned from this movie: Torches can burn for a hell of a long time.

Gor.  I have seen Outlaw (of Gor) from MST3K, and I couldn't help but wonder while watching this film, why the crew didn't riff this movie before it, or at all for that matter.  Cabbot has a ring from his dad or granddad which has him transport to the world of Gor.  There we get to see just as much almost nudeness from both males and females, bad sword fighting, and much more.  The midget is in it as are other familiar faces from the sequel, except for Cabbot's very obnoxious Earth friend.  That's a plus.  There actually was one very cool part in this movie.  The main villan gets an arrow through the neck (which we get to see relatively close up) and it looked real to me.  That was awesome.  The rest of the movie, while being better then Outlaw of Gor, isn't that good.  Three slimes.
Something I learned from this movie: Midgets can't see in well lit caves (my b-movie midget knowledge is almost complete).

From Beyond.  Hurray, a good b-movie.  This movie was a lot of fun.  So many familiar names from Jeffrey Combs, to Bunny Summers, and the guy from Dawn of the Dead to mention a few.  The only thing this movie is missing is Bruce Abbot, oh well.  Based off a story by H.P. Lovecraft, this movie involves a machine that enlarges the pinial gland which has sixth sense powers, and when turned on, you get to see air swimming wormy things with teeth and mutant looking jellyfish.  The creator of the machine gets his head twisted off, by a only-with-sixth-sense-can-you-see monster thing.  Jeffrey is his assistant and he is rushed to some psycho/mental hospital somewhere (forget what they're called).  A scientist convinces a police officer that Jeff isn't crazy, and he is released under her supervision.  They go back to the machine with DotD's Peter where the scientist tries to prove he isn't crazy by finding out what the machine does.  They meet a slightly new and improved inventor of the machine (I have a lot of trouble with names) who is naked.  This review is already to long so I'll sum up.  Scientist girl become erotic, Jeffrey eats brains, and I forget, yet again, how this movie ends.  Watch it to find out for yourself.  Four slimes.
Something I learned from this movie: Beautiful also means cheesy.

Hangar 18.  I found that this movie, like Night of the Blood Beast, has too many Steves.  The beginning of this movie involves a space ship launching a satelite into a UFO, which crash lands in Arizona or Texas.  After that, there is a whole lot of talk.  I thought during the talk that this movie was something I rented by mistake.  I was proven wrong later.  The movie continually tells us which city each scene is in (which is okay), and what time it is (really doesn't matter). The aliens are humanoids and the human race is its children.  The alien language looks pretty cool, for an 80's sci fi movie.  There are some good car crashes in the movie, when the government chases NASA people.  They try to find out about the UFO and the government tries to cover it up. The UFO is being kept in Hangar 18 and the film ends with a jet crashing into the Hangar.  Not that bad.  Probably why it didn't end up on MST3K's season 3.  Two slimes because the talk was too long.
Something I learned from this movie: Explosions in space cause decapitations.

Last but not least (because of Grim) Bram Stoker's The Mummy.  It should be The Mummies because I believe there were at least three different mummies.  Some different but familliar faces in this movie.  One of the strange things in this movie is that some of the characters die more then once.  Well, not only are mummies not scarry, but they also lead the most boring existence.  They just stand around.  This film also has curses which can cause doors to shut on their own among other things. Again too much writing.  I don't even want to take the time to do a short summary, although I will mention that the ending was paticularly bad.  One slime.
Something I learned from this movie: You can't get fresh air from being outside.