Bad Movie Logo
"A website to the detriment of good film"
Custom Search
HOMEB-MOVIE REVIEWSREADER REVIEWSFORUMINTERVIEWSUPDATESABOUT
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?
October 21, 2014, 01:31:58 PM
536046 Posts in 40547 Topics by 5095 Members
Latest Member: Shaaanee
Badmovies.org Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  Spaz-Out (Or "Yagh! My Eyes! My Eyes!") « previous next »
Pages: [1]
Author Topic: Spaz-Out (Or "Yagh! My Eyes! My Eyes!")  (Read 1363 times)
Squishy
Guest
« on: March 07, 2001, 12:49:11 AM »

Yee-ikes. Inspired by an earlier thread about snake movies, I found and rented a ratty old copy of "Spasms," starring Peter Fonda, Oliver Reed, and a deadweight plastic snake prop.

From the box cover: "SPASMS is a shocking thriller with suspense and terror that is (sic) heightened by some of the most advance techniques in the field of cinematic special effects."

This means make-up effects slightly worse than those seen in, say, "The Beast Within," involving endless use of squibs and air-bladders like those Rob Bottin made us so sick of by the end of "The Howling," and the aforementioned snake prop swinging back and forth on a wire. Separate actions by this amazing technological marvel: moving its eye and opening its jaw. Ooooooooh. Aaaaaaaah. Oh, yeah, and they had a steady-cam. Well, garsh. Give this fillum an Oscar.

"Shocking?" "Thriller?" "Suspense?" "TERROR?" People with snake phobias would be blowing raspberries at this turdchunk. Some bit players allow themselves to be slung around pretty badly by stagehands during snake attacks; that's as close as this thing gets to being technically impressive. Well, that, and the obligatory shower scene. The scariest moment is a sudden cut to a close-up of Oliver Reed sweating profusely with his wattles puffed out. Gyah! Beyond that, dead bore.

The plot manages to go absolutely nowhere for ninety-two minutes, with the annoying Fonda and oddly-dressed, giggle-provoking Reed disappearing for large chunks of the time, only to turn up again like bad pennies. The plot in a nutshell: Reed was bit by the snake when it killed his brother; years later, the snake is captured and Reed has Fonda bring it to a university where Fonda is to study the psychic bond Reed and the snake now share for flaky reasons which are discussed over the course of one minute. (ESP, it turns out, is a viral infection.) Naturally, the giant snake escapes, thanks to the efforts of a snake-worshipping "Reverend" who disappears without a trace long before the movie ends, but also long after he's no longer contributing to the plot. The Reverend means nothing in the end, and neither does the "psychic bond;" these are just (lame) excuses to get the snake to the US and let it run free. Then stuff just happens. Stupid, stupid, stupid stuff. Oh, and the snake can make light bulbs blow up and fires spontaneously generate all of a sudden! But aside from that, and the make-ups effects produced by its venom, it's pretty useless, it's not Satan or anything. After boring us to tears, it simply sets up a rendezvous with Reed and they have their little faceoff. You already know how the rest of the movie by heart, all the way to the final freeze-frame.

Oh, yeah, and I saw "Desperate Measures" on TNT last night. You know, Michael Keaton doesn't deserve to lose his career over this and "Multipicity" and even "Jack Frost." He did the best he could with what he was handed. That said, I haven't seen a more wasteful, pointless, dumb chunk of crap come out of Hollywood's bunghole. One person with a functioning brain cell would've stopped Keaton--and this movie--dead in their tracks at any given point, and the final five seconds are so preposterous as to make an "Ernest" movie seem like freaking Shakespare. Buy the video; wipe your butt with it. Hey, it makes ME feel better!
Logged
king
Guest
« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2001, 01:51:42 AM »

i was going to buy this movie glad I didn't sounds pretty lousy.  Sorry, you had to sit through it.  I think I am going to buy "killer snakes" instead.  Has anyone seen this one?  If so is it any good.
Logged
king
Guest
« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2001, 01:56:24 AM »

Oh, by the way if you want to see an excellent movie that actually had great snake scenes - with real snakes, not plastic.  Check out the "The Naked Prey"  just rented it last week excellent story and action...and the most amazing snake attack scene I have seen.
Logged
Pages: [1]
Badmovies.org Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  Spaz-Out (Or "Yagh! My Eyes! My Eyes!") « previous next »
    Jump to:  


    RSS Feed Subscribe Subscribe by RSS
    Email Subscribe Subscribe by Email


    Popular Articles
    How To Find A Bad Movie

    The Champions of Justice

    Plan 9 from Outer Space

    Manos, The Hands of Fate

    Podcast: Todd the Convenience Store Clerk

    Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

    Dragonball: The Magic Begins

    Cool As Ice

    The Educational Archives: Driver's Ed

    Godzilla vs. Monster Zero

    Do you have a zombie plan?

    FROM THE BADMOVIES.ORG ARCHIVES
    ImageThe Giant Claw - Slime drop

    Earth is visited by a GIANT ANTIMATTER SPACE BUZZARD! Gawk at the amazingly bad bird puppet, or chuckle over the silly dialog. This is one of the greatest b-movies ever made.

    Lesson Learned:
    • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

    Subscribe to Badmovies.org and get updates by email:

    HOME B-Movie Reviews Reader Reviews Forum Interviews TV Shows Advertising Information Sideshows Links Contact

    Badmovies.org is owned and operated by Andrew Borntreger. All original content is © 1998 - 2014 by its respective author(s). Image, video, and audio files are used in accordance with the Fair Use Law, and are property of the film copyright holders. You may freely link to any page (.html or .php) on this website, but reproduction in any other form must be authorized by the copyright holder.